Makan

Right. (nothing's wrong :D)

Here I am in a Saturday evening, sitting down in front of my laptop trying to procrastinate doing work after having a wonderful meal-cum-shopping session at J8 :)

Well, I have two more MCQ papers ahead of me, a few more application essays to write, a deadline, a project, and tons of memories. I felt the strain as I did some practice questions just now. And yet, I got out, walked slowly, shopped, and stared at the sky, and I felt good again. It was orangey glum in colour, cuddled with the fluffy clouds. Allow me to shift the blame to the hectic pace of life in Singapore, but it only dawned on me just now that I will be going back to Indonesia for good in around two weeks time. And, contrary to popular beliefs, I think I might just miss this place.

There is no room for nostalgia as time never stops. Vain are those who romanticize the past.

But allow me to be grateful for the wonderful memories I have here, in Singapore. Okay, this is not a post where I'll be musing about my past four years, but I'll at least recollect some about food. I'd dare say, some of the food here I'll never be able to get elsewhere around the world. Even if the same chef made it using the same ingredients, the food won't have the same 'feel' due to the difference in the ambiance.

I'll forever honour the curry puffs at the mushroom cafe I chew upon while walking down the trail, and the pork chop at the Aston's at Marymount Road which was the coup de grace for my low carb diet. I'll remember the first time I ate my forever favourite Korean Ramyeon at Toa Payoh's Koufu, and also my best friend SJI's (and of course, RI's) Chinese Mix Rice. Well, I think I should try the rumoured Santoka's ramen and also patronize Prata House, Zam-zam, and the TianJin Dumplings at Chinatown.. Yum. I'll miss Koi dearly too, and the best cantaloupe ice-cream near in the Allocasia apartments (Estivo Gelateria).

I think I shall stop listing here :) If you know me personally, feel free to ask me about these places' whereabouts :) I might go there with you. Or even better, tell me of a better place I've never heard of.

Yup, so I have a few more days to finish the unfinished business, to say my thankyous and goodbyes, and to put an end to what I have started. I hope I manage to clear them all; in the end if I can't, it's alright.. I guess. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so I look forward to living these few days fully :)

Best,
The Indonesia's Finest.

Revelation

I received some rather insightful notions when I was meditating last night. I have to admit that I would be confined by my linguistic barriers in trying to describe the meditations, but I shall attempt to do so nevertheless as it might prove quite insightful.

Now, let's start.

In life, there is nothing you have to do. There is nothing you have to fulfill, there is no heaven you have to strive for, neither there is any hell or eternal condemnations you have to avoid. You just have to be. To re-create yourself. To remember your true nature. All of us are essentially, divine. Our thoughts, words, and actions are the best at any moment under any circumstances, given the conditions and the world views we are looking through.

So now you ask, what do I have to be? Who am I? Who do I have to realize? The answer is, I don't know myself. It is something you have to figure out on your own. When you are watching a thriller premiere halfway, you won't appreciate it if the person next to you spoils the ending right?

Now, what I understand is that we re-create ourselves every single moment. Through what we think, what we say, and what we do. I personally have something that I am striving towards, I have a slight hint of what I would like to realize myself. So, I'd like to use this blog as a public pledge; a leverage some might say; or a reminder; that I would like to stick to be. Sometimes, or often, I forget. But from now on, I'll try my best to remind myself and consciously choose to act and manifest in accordance to that image.

To love. To choose love over fear. To respect, and to trust. Trusting that everything has been planned, that everything will fall into its place, trusting that it was meant to be, and trusting that everything will be wonderful in its time. It is sometimes, often, or always difficult to have such faith. Life will test you, and you have to shut the voice of fear inside your mind, and always return to listen to the language of love. You have a choice, the freedom, to choose fear over love. But it is akin to swimming upstream; you'll get tired real fast. Give into the current of love. Drown yourself in the sea of happiness and tranquility by choosing to have faith, every second of your lifetime.

So, I shall gladly surrender my sovereignty, and every second renewing my choice to love, from now unto the end of time. It is sometimes not easy, but the masters are the ones who chose love and stuck with it until their last drop of blood. Finally everything is pure, everything is sacred, everything is holy. And couldn't be that way without love. So help me, God.

Why so? "Karena Aku adalah terang, Aku adalah jalan, Aku adalah segala-galanya."*

Who am I? I am who I am. We are one, but we are many. We are different, but we are the same.

"Because you love Me so much, because you trust me so much, I will manifest the best, and only the best, for you." Thank You.. :)

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*I am the light, I am the way, and I am everything.