The Forest Knolls

Life, or the Universe, seems to have a way to prod me forward. All the time, but especially when I need it the most.

So here is, the Thanksgiving Break, coming just nice as I tried keeping afloat in Amherst. I visited MIT at the weekends to volunteer for their Splash, and caught up with Jiayi and Aofei!

Now, I am taking a refuge at my cousin's house at San Francisco. I should say: He lives like a boss. He drives everywhere, treats his friends to good food, tries out interesting things from engineering computers and car designs. My life here is nothing short of awesome. I ate Filipino food when I touched down, amazing Indonesian food for lunch yesterday, and wonderful Japanese tonkatsu curry (plus hellishly delicious tamago) for dinner. I cook for my breakfast, which is amazing too! In short, food is covered, and as long as it's Asian it's always good!

I sleep in a comfy bed, shower in an amazing bathroom, and am driven around everywhere! What a sharp contrast from my first night at MIT where I stayed in East Campus' common room. It was cold, noisy, and uncomfortable lol.

My brother also taught me how to shop. I'll go back to Amherst being more in touch with fashion.

"It is fine for us to walk into shops that we know we can't afford. Act like you have money, dress up and people will take you seriously. We do this because we want to know what to wear when we have money." Cousin as he takes me to enter and try out winter coats from Saks Fifth Avenue and the like.

More importantly, my brother is a mentor to me. He always strikes me as an individual who knows what he's doing and knows what he wants to do. We had this conversation yesterday, when we were feasting upon amazing Indonesian food (authentic gado gado, soto betawi, martabak sapi, nasi uduk, ayam bumbu rujak, and nasi goreng ayam) at SF's Borobudur Cafe.

We started talking about the purpose of education, how his friend brought up that the most important formative education in childhood happens during the children's interactions during breaks, and how school teaches you to get a job, but not to create one. I agreed, seeing how a significant amount of important things are never taught in classes in school, or at least were not that emphasized. These include, but not limited to people skills, analysis, politics, and diplomacy.

Above else, my cousin was not merely a rich kid pampered by his parents' wealth. He has his own *legal* means to fund his expenditure.

I respect him and envy him somewhat. He has this purpose, this vision. He is living the life, socializing, building friendships, not mere connections, having fun, immersed in the typical big-city Indonesian immigrant environment but with a means to escape the clutches. He always has this interesting thing going on, a project worthwhile of doing. He's busy, having to pull allnighters probably twice a week, but he is always so chill, calm, and relaxed.

Let's just say that I learned a lot this holiday, and the Universe keeps reminding me on what my focus should be.

Thanks for the inspiration, bro!

-Truly Indonesia's Finest

Sampai Jumpa

Kata kata yang tak terucap.

Aku tidak akan pernah tahu, apakah engkau tahu isi hatiku.

Sebab, ku sendiri tak mengerti, isi hati sendiri.

Ingin kugenggam erat tanganmu, kupeluk hangat tubuhmu, dan kukatakan: aku cinta kamu.

Tetapi, kenapa mulut ini bungkam seribu bahasa, mengapa kata kata ini tak keluar juga.

Aku ragu. Apakah aku masih mencintaimu?

Berkali kali ku berjanji, tuk berhenti mlihatmu lagi.

dan kurasa, engkau sudah berlalu.

tetapi mengapa, setiap melihatmu, hatiku bertalu talu?

apakah kamu tahu isi hatiku, sehingga kau melakukan apa yang engkau harus lakukan kepadaku?

tapi ingatlah,

cintaku untuk dirimu bukan tak lekang oleh waktu.

apakah kita akan menebak nebak isi hati kita sampai akhir zaman?

baiklah, lupakan saja aku. terimakasih, tetapi untukku, melihat senyum bahagiamu disana sudah lebih dari cukup, teman.

Sampai Jumpa.

Kata kata ini pun tidak terucap.

tertanda,

sang pecinta tulus.

Positive Vibrations

what are my intellectual commitments? what am I exactly trying to answer? what conversations I am replying to?

Leibniz and Hegel tried to figure out the European Modernity.
Marx and Weber tried to figure out Capitalism.

...
me?

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

Cinta, Peninggian, dan Ritual

Allow me to translate some wisdom I came across:

Ami, sbgmn perjalanan tubuh (bayi, balita, remaja dst), cinta juga bertumbuh. Bagi jiwa biasa, cinta dimulai dg ketertarikan fisik. Begitu ia berlanjut, cinta jenis ini akan diuji oleh berbagai godaan (ketidakcocokan, perbedaan, dll). Bila tekun menahan rasa sakit akibat godaan, cinta akan bertumbuh dlm bentuk pengertian. Dari pengertian mendalam inilah kemudian lahir kesadaran, cinta ada utk membahagiakan orangn yg kita cintai. Dari cinta terakhirl inilah bisa lahir cinta sejati. Ia serupa matahari, bulan purnama, pepohonan, awan, dll. Cinta ada hanya krn cinta. Ia tdk memerlukan alasan, apa lagi pengakuan. That is true love.

Ami, similar to the journey of the body (from the baby, child, teenager, etc), love also grows. For an ordinary soul, love starts with physical attraction. As love carries on, she will encounter innumerable temptations (unsuitability, differences, etc). If one perseveres in enduring the pains of these temptations, love will grow into the form of understanding. Only from this deep understanding a deep awareness will be born, that love exists to make the people we love happy. From this final type of love, genuine love can be born. Genuine love is akin to the sun, full moon, trees, clouds, etc. There is love only because there is love. Love does not need a reason, much less recognition. That is true love.

Dek Ata, merubah kebiasaan lama yg negatif menjadi kebiasaan baru yg positif memang sulit. Tp ada bbrp tips. Pertama, pagari diri dg lingkungan yg mendukung. Kedua, ingatkan diri dg bacaan2 suci. Ketiga, boleh belajar meditasi. Lebih dr itu, perlu tekun, teguh, tdk mudah menyerah. Spt menetesi batu dg air, pd saatnya batunya berlubang. w/ compassion

Dek Ata, changing negative old habits into new positive habits is truly not easy. However, there are several tips. Firstly, surround yourself with a supportive environment. Secondly, remind yourself often with readings that are holy. Thirdly, you can learn meditation. Finally, you need to be diligent, to persevere and to not give up easily. Similar to dripping water unto a stone, holes will be formed in time. :) w/ compassion.

Weda Mahendra, ritual memiliki bbbrp wajah. Pertama mistis, ini susah menerangkannya dan berbau rahasia. Kedua kosmologis, menjaga tatanan dunia. Ketiga sosiologis, media orang berkumpul saling menerangi. Keempat pedagogis, sarana mendidik masyarakat krn ada ajaran suci di sana. Dg kata lain, banyak wajah ritual. Sayangnya, di zaman ini wibawa ritual di semua agama menurun sekali. Dan menghadapi tantangan jangka pendek Anda, coba cari jawabannya dlm meditasi Anda. Utk soal sepenting, jangan gegabah. w/ compassion

Weda Mahendra, ritual has different faces. Firstly, the mystical, it is difficult to explain this side of rituals as it contains many secrets. Secondly, the cosmological, to guard the order of the world. Thirdly the sociologist, to provide a platform for people to gather and illuminate each other. Fourthly the pedagogical, as the means to educate the society because it contains holy teachings. In other words, there are many faces to the ritual. Sadly, ritual's reputation in today's world has fallen dramatically. And about your short-term challenge, try to look for your answer in your meditation. Don't be reckless for this important issue. :) w/ compassion

All Rights Reserved to Gede Prama, thank you for the wisdom!

http://gedeprama.blogdetik.com/2013/11/15/nyanyian-harmoni/

Faith and Teas

I once tweeted: "To have faith is probably the most difficult thing to do."

As I am walking down this path, one of the things I discover I am developing is this sense of self-confidence. It is something I lack, and my awareness of it was highlighted after I came to the States. To a certain extent, being self-confident is to have faith in yourself. in your capabilities. in your roots, or your essence, as a human being. in your potential.

It used to be difficult to have such faith. A paradigm shift was ordered, but a physical affirmation helped a great deal. In other words, I am experiencing the whole "act confident and you'll be confident" thingy.

I recall a little more than four years ago, a few days after term 3 of Secondary 3 ended, I participated in a 5-day OBS kayaking trip. It was probably one of the milestones in Singapore which still affects the me now. It was physically rigorous, I have never walked for hours carrying more than 20kg load on my back, I never kayaked for almost 12 hours, learned how to deal with disputes, conflicts, lost belongings, stresses, alienation (I was the only Indonesian in the group). I learned how to appreciate cooked food (we had bread for breakfast and lunch, canned food for dinner), thus I had heaps and heaps of beehoon with sausages when we finally had cooked food. We survived on very little sleep (3-4 hours) and when we were out camping, there were no restrooms, so we need to dig up a hole when we needed to do business. We slept through a storm and woke up with flooded tents. Our instructor was fasting (it was Ramadan) but passed out food nonetheless. Being unable to do any pullups before the trip and being able to do four in a row afterwards. It was a week, as I look back, designed to provide me a crash course in my development. I remember how I promised myself to be more courageous and assertive. Thus I was the first to take a plunge into the cold ocean at dawn.

However, most importantly, is how I learned courage. When we were kayaking across the strait dividing Singapore and Malaysia, a storm was brewing.  The sky broke open and the lightning cracked, with the winds and waves all roaring. There were around twenty of us, and we were out there and vulnerable.

Thus, we had no choice but to be brave. I remember telling myself: "Straighten your back, enjoy the ride, and plunge in. Have faith, we can make it."

And thus we cheered upon one another, pedaled with every ounce of our might, and reached the shore safely. Had any of us hesitated, we might have capsized, surrendering ourselves to the stormy seas.

I remember thinking: "If I survived this, and I am brave enough to face this, what else is there I will lack courage to face? What else is there I can't survive?"

The Universe seems to have realized that I have forgotten this lesson, and thus she told me to straighten up my back and be taller through Tango. As I mull over the straightening of my back, I realize what I need to have: confidence and decisiveness as a humankind. Again, I don't need to apologize all the time, I don't need to justify all my actions. I can take risks, and things can turn out very well. I shall now remember, and now own, that physical affirmation truly leads to internal changes as well!

In short, this equation summarizes it: belief + physical affirmation = confidence of truth.
confidence of truth + harmony with nature = universal truth.

I shall uncover these philosophical equations someday. Nonetheless, I come to realize the importance of gratitude in my development as well. I have learned, a few days ago, to drink what my developed friends call "the happiness tea". I have no idea if I am doing it right, but I have a hazy notion of the origins of the name.

Nonetheless, now before I drink tea (now extended to consuming anything), I make an affirmation: "May the one who drinks this tea become happy." And as I work my way through the tea, I gradually become happier, because I give thanks for each sip of the tea. Gratitude is an inevitable component of happiness, and is also probably the most powerful force (along with love) in shaping your world and destiny. I believe other affirmations would work too, therefore it is a bad idea to drink your tea when you are angry.

Okay, now I shall have my cup of happiness tea. Where did I get these inspirations, you ask? I should say, from the blessings of the sky. It popped up inside my head as I began to see patterns. And I am increasingly grateful for this development.

Truly Indonesia's Finest,