How surreal it is to let these days pass carelessly, until it slips by and reaches the cliff of the year. 2013 has been a wonderful year, and I spent her equally in the States and in China. Too many things happened and too many thoughts accrued to be reduced only to one post, but I am harboring a great sum for 2014. I have no idea when, but it is the time for the sun to rise. It is the time for the examination to be passed, it is the time for the system to be developed. Probably, me too.
Happy new year. To those (if anyone) who reads this blog, I hope you will enjoy the best days of your life in 2014.
Let me tell you a story to end this short post. I visited Lombok, a sunny paradise in the middle of Indonesia a few days back. We decided to stay in a small islet off the main Lombok island, which goes by Gili Trawangan. Motored vehicles are prohibited on the grounds of the islet, hence three means of transportation left to our choosing: 1) walking 2) cidomo, a cart pulled by a horse, fits in 3-5 people excluding the jockey 3) cycling on a rented bike.
So on one of the scorching days, my family decided to cycle through the perimeter of the island, and the terrain wasn't too ideal - it was sandy and somewhat laden of horse manure, due to means of transportation number 2. I was gleefully grinding through the horse manure when my aunt told me not to, and I simply ignored her warning as I rebutted that it was only the bicycle wheel that was getting dirty.
Hence we rode along when all the sudden the road up ahead was in terrible disrepair. I had to come to a sudden halt as my other family members ahead of me had to stop and walk the bike. *thud* I felt a bump on my left calf. It was my sister, losing control of her bike as she tried to stop, and the front wheel of her bike ended up on my left calf. And guess what? It was laden with horse manure.
So I learned karma through horse shit.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Monday, 9 December 2013
Discrimination & Equality - A Take on the American War against Prejudice
One opinion that I kept by myself (or rather, I shared only with other international kids) about the Americans is how I find they are disturbingly sensitive about certain issues. Since I first came to Amherst, I have been bombarded with campaigns about fighting against prejudice, fighting against racism, fighting against gender inequality, fighting against homophobes, fighting against (insert something negative here).
Now let me make it very clear in the beginning: I don't think it's right to judge people. I am judging the Americans for being very sensitive, but I have to acknowledge that there are merits to being sensitive. It is good that diversity is celebrated. It is excellent that gender equality is celebrated. It is fantastic that gays and lesbians are welcomed with open arms here.
In short, it's perfectly alright to change these unjust status quo for the better. What I'm against is the method, how the change is being carried out. How the words "fight" and "war" characterize the efforts of effecting the desired change.
Fighting against something and waging war against something is wrong on multiple levels: They are ineffective at best and cause massive casualties at worse. Doesn't the very word "fight" itself embody violence? We claim to be a "civilized person" but we still resort to violence, albeit at a metaphysical level, to enact change. What does it say about us? Are we truly different from barbarians?
No, and this not only about self-image. It is the mere fact that fire cannot be extinguished with fire. Hatred can never be dissolved with hatred. The universal law of attraction dictates that you attract what you emit - giving out fights will merely invite more fighting into your life. Instead, focus on advocating the change you want to bring, the end result that you desire. Transcend your adversary. Have faith that you can make that changes happen, do something productive to bring the desired change. Exploding against a racist/sexist/homophobe might feel good, but is it really productive? Will it really bring about the desired change? Will he or she stop being a racist/sexist/homophobe after seeing your anger?
People are definitely entitled to their own views. You can definitely argue that revolutions which brought about many changes for the better involve violence, that they are quick and effective. But are the changes brought about really comprehensive? Is it ever worth spilling blood to prevent blood to be spilled? Does a just war exist? Well, you can say that the use of force is necessary sometimes, from the Jewish people's liberation from Nazi to the Kuwaitian's liberation from the hands of Saddam. I can't, and won't argue against that. But does it mean we necessarily characterize our efforts to bring about change using the same vocabularies, and carry them out based on similar principles? I beg to differ.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
In short, it's perfectly alright to change these unjust status quo for the better. What I'm against is the method, how the change is being carried out. How the words "fight" and "war" characterize the efforts of effecting the desired change.
Fighting against something and waging war against something is wrong on multiple levels: They are ineffective at best and cause massive casualties at worse. Doesn't the very word "fight" itself embody violence? We claim to be a "civilized person" but we still resort to violence, albeit at a metaphysical level, to enact change. What does it say about us? Are we truly different from barbarians?
No, and this not only about self-image. It is the mere fact that fire cannot be extinguished with fire. Hatred can never be dissolved with hatred. The universal law of attraction dictates that you attract what you emit - giving out fights will merely invite more fighting into your life. Instead, focus on advocating the change you want to bring, the end result that you desire. Transcend your adversary. Have faith that you can make that changes happen, do something productive to bring the desired change. Exploding against a racist/sexist/homophobe might feel good, but is it really productive? Will it really bring about the desired change? Will he or she stop being a racist/sexist/homophobe after seeing your anger?
People are definitely entitled to their own views. You can definitely argue that revolutions which brought about many changes for the better involve violence, that they are quick and effective. But are the changes brought about really comprehensive? Is it ever worth spilling blood to prevent blood to be spilled? Does a just war exist? Well, you can say that the use of force is necessary sometimes, from the Jewish people's liberation from Nazi to the Kuwaitian's liberation from the hands of Saddam. I can't, and won't argue against that. But does it mean we necessarily characterize our efforts to bring about change using the same vocabularies, and carry them out based on similar principles? I beg to differ.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
The Forest Knolls
Life, or the Universe, seems to have a way to prod me forward. All the time, but especially when I need it the most.
So here is, the Thanksgiving Break, coming just nice as I tried keeping afloat in Amherst. I visited MIT at the weekends to volunteer for their Splash, and caught up with Jiayi and Aofei!
Now, I am taking a refuge at my cousin's house at San Francisco. I should say: He lives like a boss. He drives everywhere, treats his friends to good food, tries out interesting things from engineering computers and car designs. My life here is nothing short of awesome. I ate Filipino food when I touched down, amazing Indonesian food for lunch yesterday, and wonderful Japanese tonkatsu curry (plus hellishly delicious tamago) for dinner. I cook for my breakfast, which is amazing too! In short, food is covered, and as long as it's Asian it's always good!
I sleep in a comfy bed, shower in an amazing bathroom, and am driven around everywhere! What a sharp contrast from my first night at MIT where I stayed in East Campus' common room. It was cold, noisy, and uncomfortable lol.
My brother also taught me how to shop. I'll go back to Amherst being more in touch with fashion.
"It is fine for us to walk into shops that we know we can't afford. Act like you have money, dress up and people will take you seriously. We do this because we want to know what to wear when we have money." Cousin as he takes me to enter and try out winter coats from Saks Fifth Avenue and the like.
More importantly, my brother is a mentor to me. He always strikes me as an individual who knows what he's doing and knows what he wants to do. We had this conversation yesterday, when we were feasting upon amazing Indonesian food (authentic gado gado, soto betawi, martabak sapi, nasi uduk, ayam bumbu rujak, and nasi goreng ayam) at SF's Borobudur Cafe.
We started talking about the purpose of education, how his friend brought up that the most important formative education in childhood happens during the children's interactions during breaks, and how school teaches you to get a job, but not to create one. I agreed, seeing how a significant amount of important things are never taught in classes in school, or at least were not that emphasized. These include, but not limited to people skills, analysis, politics, and diplomacy.
Above else, my cousin was not merely a rich kid pampered by his parents' wealth. He has his own *legal* means to fund his expenditure.
I respect him and envy him somewhat. He has this purpose, this vision. He is living the life, socializing, building friendships, not mere connections, having fun, immersed in the typical big-city Indonesian immigrant environment but with a means to escape the clutches. He always has this interesting thing going on, a project worthwhile of doing. He's busy, having to pull allnighters probably twice a week, but he is always so chill, calm, and relaxed.
Let's just say that I learned a lot this holiday, and the Universe keeps reminding me on what my focus should be.
Thanks for the inspiration, bro!
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
So here is, the Thanksgiving Break, coming just nice as I tried keeping afloat in Amherst. I visited MIT at the weekends to volunteer for their Splash, and caught up with Jiayi and Aofei!
Now, I am taking a refuge at my cousin's house at San Francisco. I should say: He lives like a boss. He drives everywhere, treats his friends to good food, tries out interesting things from engineering computers and car designs. My life here is nothing short of awesome. I ate Filipino food when I touched down, amazing Indonesian food for lunch yesterday, and wonderful Japanese tonkatsu curry (plus hellishly delicious tamago) for dinner. I cook for my breakfast, which is amazing too! In short, food is covered, and as long as it's Asian it's always good!
I sleep in a comfy bed, shower in an amazing bathroom, and am driven around everywhere! What a sharp contrast from my first night at MIT where I stayed in East Campus' common room. It was cold, noisy, and uncomfortable lol.
My brother also taught me how to shop. I'll go back to Amherst being more in touch with fashion.
"It is fine for us to walk into shops that we know we can't afford. Act like you have money, dress up and people will take you seriously. We do this because we want to know what to wear when we have money." Cousin as he takes me to enter and try out winter coats from Saks Fifth Avenue and the like.
More importantly, my brother is a mentor to me. He always strikes me as an individual who knows what he's doing and knows what he wants to do. We had this conversation yesterday, when we were feasting upon amazing Indonesian food (authentic gado gado, soto betawi, martabak sapi, nasi uduk, ayam bumbu rujak, and nasi goreng ayam) at SF's Borobudur Cafe.
We started talking about the purpose of education, how his friend brought up that the most important formative education in childhood happens during the children's interactions during breaks, and how school teaches you to get a job, but not to create one. I agreed, seeing how a significant amount of important things are never taught in classes in school, or at least were not that emphasized. These include, but not limited to people skills, analysis, politics, and diplomacy.
Above else, my cousin was not merely a rich kid pampered by his parents' wealth. He has his own *legal* means to fund his expenditure.
I respect him and envy him somewhat. He has this purpose, this vision. He is living the life, socializing, building friendships, not mere connections, having fun, immersed in the typical big-city Indonesian immigrant environment but with a means to escape the clutches. He always has this interesting thing going on, a project worthwhile of doing. He's busy, having to pull allnighters probably twice a week, but he is always so chill, calm, and relaxed.
Let's just say that I learned a lot this holiday, and the Universe keeps reminding me on what my focus should be.
Thanks for the inspiration, bro!
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
Saturday, 23 November 2013
Sampai Jumpa
Kata kata yang tak terucap.
Aku tidak akan pernah tahu, apakah engkau tahu isi hatiku.
Sebab, ku sendiri tak mengerti, isi hati sendiri.
Ingin kugenggam erat tanganmu, kupeluk hangat tubuhmu, dan kukatakan: aku cinta kamu.
Tetapi, kenapa mulut ini bungkam seribu bahasa, mengapa kata kata ini tak keluar juga.
Aku ragu. Apakah aku masih mencintaimu?
Berkali kali ku berjanji, tuk berhenti mlihatmu lagi.
dan kurasa, engkau sudah berlalu.
tetapi mengapa, setiap melihatmu, hatiku bertalu talu?
apakah kamu tahu isi hatiku, sehingga kau melakukan apa yang engkau harus lakukan kepadaku?
tapi ingatlah,
cintaku untuk dirimu bukan tak lekang oleh waktu.
apakah kita akan menebak nebak isi hati kita sampai akhir zaman?
baiklah, lupakan saja aku. terimakasih, tetapi untukku, melihat senyum bahagiamu disana sudah lebih dari cukup, teman.
Sampai Jumpa.
Kata kata ini pun tidak terucap.
tertanda,
sang pecinta tulus.
Tuesday, 19 November 2013
Positive Vibrations
what are my intellectual commitments? what am I exactly trying to answer? what conversations I am replying to?
Leibniz and Hegel tried to figure out the European Modernity.
Marx and Weber tried to figure out Capitalism.
...
me?
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Leibniz and Hegel tried to figure out the European Modernity.
Marx and Weber tried to figure out Capitalism.
...
me?
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Sunday, 17 November 2013
Cinta, Peninggian, dan Ritual
Allow me to translate some wisdom I came across:
Ami, sbgmn perjalanan tubuh (bayi, balita, remaja dst), cinta juga bertumbuh. Bagi jiwa biasa, cinta dimulai dg ketertarikan fisik. Begitu ia berlanjut, cinta jenis ini akan diuji oleh berbagai godaan (ketidakcocokan, perbedaan, dll). Bila tekun menahan rasa sakit akibat godaan, cinta akan bertumbuh dlm bentuk pengertian. Dari pengertian mendalam inilah kemudian lahir kesadaran, cinta ada utk membahagiakan orangn yg kita cintai. Dari cinta terakhirl inilah bisa lahir cinta sejati. Ia serupa matahari, bulan purnama, pepohonan, awan, dll. Cinta ada hanya krn cinta. Ia tdk memerlukan alasan, apa lagi pengakuan. That is true love.
Ami, similar to the journey of the body (from the baby, child, teenager, etc), love also grows. For an ordinary soul, love starts with physical attraction. As love carries on, she will encounter innumerable temptations (unsuitability, differences, etc). If one perseveres in enduring the pains of these temptations, love will grow into the form of understanding. Only from this deep understanding a deep awareness will be born, that love exists to make the people we love happy. From this final type of love, genuine love can be born. Genuine love is akin to the sun, full moon, trees, clouds, etc. There is love only because there is love. Love does not need a reason, much less recognition. That is true love.
Dek Ata, merubah kebiasaan lama yg negatif menjadi kebiasaan baru yg positif memang sulit. Tp ada bbrp tips. Pertama, pagari diri dg lingkungan yg mendukung. Kedua, ingatkan diri dg bacaan2 suci. Ketiga, boleh belajar meditasi. Lebih dr itu, perlu tekun, teguh, tdk mudah menyerah. Spt menetesi batu dg air, pd saatnya batunya berlubang.
w/ compassion
Dek Ata, changing negative old habits into new positive habits is truly not easy. However, there are several tips. Firstly, surround yourself with a supportive environment. Secondly, remind yourself often with readings that are holy. Thirdly, you can learn meditation. Finally, you need to be diligent, to persevere and to not give up easily. Similar to dripping water unto a stone, holes will be formed in time. :) w/ compassion.
Weda Mahendra, ritual memiliki bbbrp wajah. Pertama mistis, ini susah menerangkannya dan berbau rahasia. Kedua kosmologis, menjaga tatanan dunia. Ketiga sosiologis, media orang berkumpul saling menerangi. Keempat pedagogis, sarana mendidik masyarakat krn ada ajaran suci di sana. Dg kata lain, banyak wajah ritual. Sayangnya, di zaman ini wibawa ritual di semua agama menurun sekali. Dan menghadapi tantangan jangka pendek Anda, coba cari jawabannya dlm meditasi Anda. Utk soal sepenting, jangan gegabah. w/ compassion
Weda Mahendra, ritual has different faces. Firstly, the mystical, it is difficult to explain this side of rituals as it contains many secrets. Secondly, the cosmological, to guard the order of the world. Thirdly the sociologist, to provide a platform for people to gather and illuminate each other. Fourthly the pedagogical, as the means to educate the society because it contains holy teachings. In other words, there are many faces to the ritual. Sadly, ritual's reputation in today's world has fallen dramatically. And about your short-term challenge, try to look for your answer in your meditation. Don't be reckless for this important issue. :) w/ compassion
All Rights Reserved to Gede Prama, thank you for the wisdom!
http://gedeprama.blogdetik.com/2013/11/15/nyanyian-harmoni/
Ami, sbgmn perjalanan tubuh (bayi, balita, remaja dst), cinta juga bertumbuh. Bagi jiwa biasa, cinta dimulai dg ketertarikan fisik. Begitu ia berlanjut, cinta jenis ini akan diuji oleh berbagai godaan (ketidakcocokan, perbedaan, dll). Bila tekun menahan rasa sakit akibat godaan, cinta akan bertumbuh dlm bentuk pengertian. Dari pengertian mendalam inilah kemudian lahir kesadaran, cinta ada utk membahagiakan orangn yg kita cintai. Dari cinta terakhirl inilah bisa lahir cinta sejati. Ia serupa matahari, bulan purnama, pepohonan, awan, dll. Cinta ada hanya krn cinta. Ia tdk memerlukan alasan, apa lagi pengakuan. That is true love.
Ami, similar to the journey of the body (from the baby, child, teenager, etc), love also grows. For an ordinary soul, love starts with physical attraction. As love carries on, she will encounter innumerable temptations (unsuitability, differences, etc). If one perseveres in enduring the pains of these temptations, love will grow into the form of understanding. Only from this deep understanding a deep awareness will be born, that love exists to make the people we love happy. From this final type of love, genuine love can be born. Genuine love is akin to the sun, full moon, trees, clouds, etc. There is love only because there is love. Love does not need a reason, much less recognition. That is true love.
Dek Ata, merubah kebiasaan lama yg negatif menjadi kebiasaan baru yg positif memang sulit. Tp ada bbrp tips. Pertama, pagari diri dg lingkungan yg mendukung. Kedua, ingatkan diri dg bacaan2 suci. Ketiga, boleh belajar meditasi. Lebih dr itu, perlu tekun, teguh, tdk mudah menyerah. Spt menetesi batu dg air, pd saatnya batunya berlubang.
w/ compassionDek Ata, changing negative old habits into new positive habits is truly not easy. However, there are several tips. Firstly, surround yourself with a supportive environment. Secondly, remind yourself often with readings that are holy. Thirdly, you can learn meditation. Finally, you need to be diligent, to persevere and to not give up easily. Similar to dripping water unto a stone, holes will be formed in time. :) w/ compassion.
Weda Mahendra, ritual memiliki bbbrp wajah. Pertama mistis, ini susah menerangkannya dan berbau rahasia. Kedua kosmologis, menjaga tatanan dunia. Ketiga sosiologis, media orang berkumpul saling menerangi. Keempat pedagogis, sarana mendidik masyarakat krn ada ajaran suci di sana. Dg kata lain, banyak wajah ritual. Sayangnya, di zaman ini wibawa ritual di semua agama menurun sekali. Dan menghadapi tantangan jangka pendek Anda, coba cari jawabannya dlm meditasi Anda. Utk soal sepenting, jangan gegabah.
w/ compassionWeda Mahendra, ritual has different faces. Firstly, the mystical, it is difficult to explain this side of rituals as it contains many secrets. Secondly, the cosmological, to guard the order of the world. Thirdly the sociologist, to provide a platform for people to gather and illuminate each other. Fourthly the pedagogical, as the means to educate the society because it contains holy teachings. In other words, there are many faces to the ritual. Sadly, ritual's reputation in today's world has fallen dramatically. And about your short-term challenge, try to look for your answer in your meditation. Don't be reckless for this important issue. :) w/ compassion
All Rights Reserved to Gede Prama, thank you for the wisdom!
http://gedeprama.blogdetik.com/2013/11/15/nyanyian-harmoni/
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
Faith and Teas
I once tweeted: "To have faith is probably the most difficult thing to do."
As I am walking down this path, one of the things I discover I am developing is this sense of self-confidence. It is something I lack, and my awareness of it was highlighted after I came to the States. To a certain extent, being self-confident is to have faith in yourself. in your capabilities. in your roots, or your essence, as a human being. in your potential.
It used to be difficult to have such faith. A paradigm shift was ordered, but a physical affirmation helped a great deal. In other words, I am experiencing the whole "act confident and you'll be confident" thingy.
I recall a little more than four years ago, a few days after term 3 of Secondary 3 ended, I participated in a 5-day OBS kayaking trip. It was probably one of the milestones in Singapore which still affects the me now. It was physically rigorous, I have never walked for hours carrying more than 20kg load on my back, I never kayaked for almost 12 hours, learned how to deal with disputes, conflicts, lost belongings, stresses, alienation (I was the only Indonesian in the group). I learned how to appreciate cooked food (we had bread for breakfast and lunch, canned food for dinner), thus I had heaps and heaps of beehoon with sausages when we finally had cooked food. We survived on very little sleep (3-4 hours) and when we were out camping, there were no restrooms, so we need to dig up a hole when we needed to do business. We slept through a storm and woke up with flooded tents. Our instructor was fasting (it was Ramadan) but passed out food nonetheless. Being unable to do any pullups before the trip and being able to do four in a row afterwards. It was a week, as I look back, designed to provide me a crash course in my development. I remember how I promised myself to be more courageous and assertive. Thus I was the first to take a plunge into the cold ocean at dawn.
However, most importantly, is how I learned courage. When we were kayaking across the strait dividing Singapore and Malaysia, a storm was brewing. The sky broke open and the lightning cracked, with the winds and waves all roaring. There were around twenty of us, and we were out there and vulnerable.
Thus, we had no choice but to be brave. I remember telling myself: "Straighten your back, enjoy the ride, and plunge in. Have faith, we can make it."
And thus we cheered upon one another, pedaled with every ounce of our might, and reached the shore safely. Had any of us hesitated, we might have capsized, surrendering ourselves to the stormy seas.
I remember thinking: "If I survived this, and I am brave enough to face this, what else is there I will lack courage to face? What else is there I can't survive?"
The Universe seems to have realized that I have forgotten this lesson, and thus she told me to straighten up my back and be taller through Tango. As I mull over the straightening of my back, I realize what I need to have: confidence and decisiveness as a humankind. Again, I don't need to apologize all the time, I don't need to justify all my actions. I can take risks, and things can turn out very well. I shall now remember, and now own, that physical affirmation truly leads to internal changes as well!
In short, this equation summarizes it: belief + physical affirmation = confidence of truth.
confidence of truth + harmony with nature = universal truth.
I shall uncover these philosophical equations someday. Nonetheless, I come to realize the importance of gratitude in my development as well. I have learned, a few days ago, to drink what my developed friends call "the happiness tea". I have no idea if I am doing it right, but I have a hazy notion of the origins of the name.
Nonetheless, now before I drink tea (now extended to consuming anything), I make an affirmation: "May the one who drinks this tea become happy." And as I work my way through the tea, I gradually become happier, because I give thanks for each sip of the tea. Gratitude is an inevitable component of happiness, and is also probably the most powerful force (along with love) in shaping your world and destiny. I believe other affirmations would work too, therefore it is a bad idea to drink your tea when you are angry.
Okay, now I shall have my cup of happiness tea. Where did I get these inspirations, you ask? I should say, from the blessings of the sky. It popped up inside my head as I began to see patterns. And I am increasingly grateful for this development.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
As I am walking down this path, one of the things I discover I am developing is this sense of self-confidence. It is something I lack, and my awareness of it was highlighted after I came to the States. To a certain extent, being self-confident is to have faith in yourself. in your capabilities. in your roots, or your essence, as a human being. in your potential.
It used to be difficult to have such faith. A paradigm shift was ordered, but a physical affirmation helped a great deal. In other words, I am experiencing the whole "act confident and you'll be confident" thingy.
I recall a little more than four years ago, a few days after term 3 of Secondary 3 ended, I participated in a 5-day OBS kayaking trip. It was probably one of the milestones in Singapore which still affects the me now. It was physically rigorous, I have never walked for hours carrying more than 20kg load on my back, I never kayaked for almost 12 hours, learned how to deal with disputes, conflicts, lost belongings, stresses, alienation (I was the only Indonesian in the group). I learned how to appreciate cooked food (we had bread for breakfast and lunch, canned food for dinner), thus I had heaps and heaps of beehoon with sausages when we finally had cooked food. We survived on very little sleep (3-4 hours) and when we were out camping, there were no restrooms, so we need to dig up a hole when we needed to do business. We slept through a storm and woke up with flooded tents. Our instructor was fasting (it was Ramadan) but passed out food nonetheless. Being unable to do any pullups before the trip and being able to do four in a row afterwards. It was a week, as I look back, designed to provide me a crash course in my development. I remember how I promised myself to be more courageous and assertive. Thus I was the first to take a plunge into the cold ocean at dawn.
However, most importantly, is how I learned courage. When we were kayaking across the strait dividing Singapore and Malaysia, a storm was brewing. The sky broke open and the lightning cracked, with the winds and waves all roaring. There were around twenty of us, and we were out there and vulnerable.
Thus, we had no choice but to be brave. I remember telling myself: "Straighten your back, enjoy the ride, and plunge in. Have faith, we can make it."
And thus we cheered upon one another, pedaled with every ounce of our might, and reached the shore safely. Had any of us hesitated, we might have capsized, surrendering ourselves to the stormy seas.
I remember thinking: "If I survived this, and I am brave enough to face this, what else is there I will lack courage to face? What else is there I can't survive?"
The Universe seems to have realized that I have forgotten this lesson, and thus she told me to straighten up my back and be taller through Tango. As I mull over the straightening of my back, I realize what I need to have: confidence and decisiveness as a humankind. Again, I don't need to apologize all the time, I don't need to justify all my actions. I can take risks, and things can turn out very well. I shall now remember, and now own, that physical affirmation truly leads to internal changes as well!
In short, this equation summarizes it: belief + physical affirmation = confidence of truth.
confidence of truth + harmony with nature = universal truth.
I shall uncover these philosophical equations someday. Nonetheless, I come to realize the importance of gratitude in my development as well. I have learned, a few days ago, to drink what my developed friends call "the happiness tea". I have no idea if I am doing it right, but I have a hazy notion of the origins of the name.
Nonetheless, now before I drink tea (now extended to consuming anything), I make an affirmation: "May the one who drinks this tea become happy." And as I work my way through the tea, I gradually become happier, because I give thanks for each sip of the tea. Gratitude is an inevitable component of happiness, and is also probably the most powerful force (along with love) in shaping your world and destiny. I believe other affirmations would work too, therefore it is a bad idea to drink your tea when you are angry.
Okay, now I shall have my cup of happiness tea. Where did I get these inspirations, you ask? I should say, from the blessings of the sky. It popped up inside my head as I began to see patterns. And I am increasingly grateful for this development.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Monday, 28 October 2013
of Late Nights, Bitter Teas, and Chiobus
The President's words rang true: Amherst College is one of the few institutions which forces us to work hard. Although I take pride in myself as a 'bloody mugger', Singlish for a student who tend to over study, I must admit that here I frequently find other people being way more hardworking than I am.
I go by five and a half or six hours of sleep on weekdays (plus occasional naps) and up to seven or eight hours in the weekends; and I count myself fortunate. I have friends who constantly have three hours or less, and who always seem to be sleeping at the common room's sofas instead of their room, the former which they claim to be more comfortable.
I haven't pulled an all-nighter throughout my career at Amherst College, and I hope I can stay that way. Nonetheless, I find an interesting pattern: There is a chance that I end up with less sleep in the weekends than in the weekdays. Why, you ask? To stay up and party, of course! (not).
I would sit down in the common room, brew a cup of bitter tea, and sip it slowly as a pretext to stay awake. I would then partake in conversations to get to know my dorm-mates, a chiobu in particular, better.
Not anymore though, the chiobu was taken.
Well, I was sad, and then I talked to a Singaporean senior about it. His words made the quote of my day: "you dei, keep your hormones in check la!"
I heeded his advice, felt so much better, and lost the incentive to stay up late. Now I enjoy better quality sleep;)
And I made a pledge to myself: "Untuk menjadi seorang manusia yang sempurna jiwa dan raganya"
Sorry, it's kinda hard to translate as I made it in Bahasa. Go ahead and google translate it, though I doubt the original meaning will be captured..
A random thought worth noting passed by: I wasn't that close, on a personal level, with my Indonesian friends in Raffles Institution Boarding. (Among the nine, I am best friends with two to three of them) Nonetheless, their collective presence, the community they manifest, is very amazing, is something I long for. I hope it dies hard.
Yours Truly,
The Indonesia's Finest
I go by five and a half or six hours of sleep on weekdays (plus occasional naps) and up to seven or eight hours in the weekends; and I count myself fortunate. I have friends who constantly have three hours or less, and who always seem to be sleeping at the common room's sofas instead of their room, the former which they claim to be more comfortable.
I haven't pulled an all-nighter throughout my career at Amherst College, and I hope I can stay that way. Nonetheless, I find an interesting pattern: There is a chance that I end up with less sleep in the weekends than in the weekdays. Why, you ask? To stay up and party, of course! (not).
I would sit down in the common room, brew a cup of bitter tea, and sip it slowly as a pretext to stay awake. I would then partake in conversations to get to know my dorm-mates, a chiobu in particular, better.
Not anymore though, the chiobu was taken.
Well, I was sad, and then I talked to a Singaporean senior about it. His words made the quote of my day: "you dei, keep your hormones in check la!"
I heeded his advice, felt so much better, and lost the incentive to stay up late. Now I enjoy better quality sleep;)
And I made a pledge to myself: "Untuk menjadi seorang manusia yang sempurna jiwa dan raganya"
Sorry, it's kinda hard to translate as I made it in Bahasa. Go ahead and google translate it, though I doubt the original meaning will be captured..
A random thought worth noting passed by: I wasn't that close, on a personal level, with my Indonesian friends in Raffles Institution Boarding. (Among the nine, I am best friends with two to three of them) Nonetheless, their collective presence, the community they manifest, is very amazing, is something I long for. I hope it dies hard.
Yours Truly,
The Indonesia's Finest
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Departure
I, not once, twice, or thrice, wrote about you.
I breathe, live, think, speak, act, be, upon you.
If time is an eternity, My life is a mere minute.
I knew you for a few seconds, then.
But you touched me. You reached out your arm. You lit the candle in the darkness. You made me who I am today. You are my lighthouse guiding me through the stormy seas of life.
As a candle burns out, light too, shall succumb to the darkness. Nothing is permanent, at least in this sphere of life.
But I didn't expect it to happen so immediately.
Nonetheless, thank you for everything. I am sorry for any wrongs I have made. For any doubts I had, for any wrongs that I have said.
I know, we will meet again someday. If not in this lifetime, in the next lifetime, or in the next next one.
I look forward to meet you again, in eternity.
You, who changed my world.
You, who I am so lucky enough to meet with. Who garnered leaders of the world, who made the world a better one come tomorrow.
You, who I would follow to Kingdom come. But no,
All I can do now is to live in accordance to what You have taught me.
I shall embody you.
I hope I can make you proud, make you feel that you did not waste your time on me.
I shall have faith, confidence, and I shall depend on myself now.
I shall live, and set an example to others. I shall make them know the goodness of your thoughts, the owl of minerva we are after. I shall make the world better, all in your name.
Thank you once more. When you told me that we are friends, did you know how happy I was?
And have I told you that I love you?
I love you.
Yours Truly,
---
Gue berasa kayak nobita tanpa doraemon sekarang. Gapapa. udah saatnya maju berarti.
Selamat jalan dan selamat beristirahat, Mr BJ Eddy Soetyono. Terimakasih untuk segala galanya. Blog post ini saya dedikasikan untuk bapak. Semoga bapak bahagia, dan sampai jumpa lagi..
I breathe, live, think, speak, act, be, upon you.
If time is an eternity, My life is a mere minute.
I knew you for a few seconds, then.
But you touched me. You reached out your arm. You lit the candle in the darkness. You made me who I am today. You are my lighthouse guiding me through the stormy seas of life.
As a candle burns out, light too, shall succumb to the darkness. Nothing is permanent, at least in this sphere of life.
But I didn't expect it to happen so immediately.
Nonetheless, thank you for everything. I am sorry for any wrongs I have made. For any doubts I had, for any wrongs that I have said.
I know, we will meet again someday. If not in this lifetime, in the next lifetime, or in the next next one.
I look forward to meet you again, in eternity.
You, who changed my world.
You, who I am so lucky enough to meet with. Who garnered leaders of the world, who made the world a better one come tomorrow.
You, who I would follow to Kingdom come. But no,
All I can do now is to live in accordance to what You have taught me.
I shall embody you.
I hope I can make you proud, make you feel that you did not waste your time on me.
I shall have faith, confidence, and I shall depend on myself now.
I shall live, and set an example to others. I shall make them know the goodness of your thoughts, the owl of minerva we are after. I shall make the world better, all in your name.
Thank you once more. When you told me that we are friends, did you know how happy I was?
And have I told you that I love you?
I love you.
Yours Truly,
---
Gue berasa kayak nobita tanpa doraemon sekarang. Gapapa. udah saatnya maju berarti.
Selamat jalan dan selamat beristirahat, Mr BJ Eddy Soetyono. Terimakasih untuk segala galanya. Blog post ini saya dedikasikan untuk bapak. Semoga bapak bahagia, dan sampai jumpa lagi..
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
Idelusion
I need to be reminded often that what I perceive as a reality is nothing more than a KTV drama.
It is thus necessary for me to distinguish between the One voice and other noises which lead me astray.
It is akin to having to learn certain lessons without even being told what lessons they are, and no way to verify whether I am headed towards the wrong or the right direction.
Nonetheless, I imagine his reply would be: "Don't pass your judgement as to whether it is right or wrong. Such is being subjective. Just do it."
So, for now, I shall try to have faith, and carry on.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
Sunday, 6 October 2013
Wednesday, 2 October 2013
Of (the Geist's) Development
How do you know if you have actually improved or progressed over time?
I began asking these questions as I looked back to my old posts - History kinda repeated itself (Thus I am not of the Hegelian history) as in I some similar patterns repeating over and over. For instance, the drugging my American dorm-mates with Indomie Goreng, not quite a new concept.
I attended a talk by Stanley Morgan just now; which allowed me to kind of peer beyond my 'today' door. I am starting to see a pattern; why doesn't the hard work end? or it will never end? Shall I be thankful nonetheless that I get to work hard? Is life about working hard, or is there more to it? Am I of historical significance? Am I making progress as I destroy myself, as I 'hit the reset button' and 'cross the intersection' or am I taking something with me?
I am quite sure that the voice inside my head is becoming clearer each day, though. I am getting more adept at assigning the sources of these voices too, and to which I should pay heed. My reality creating mechanism is improving a lot as well; and the grasp of certain philosophy and principles allow me to wield them with ease. But nonetheless, I still need to remind myself very often.
Plus one, I am seeing the same patterns with vixens again. But this time, I am able to sort of transcend and attempt to stop myself, before I see history repeating itself again. Guess what, I went to Cambridge, MA, and met her again. It is really true, perhaps, that no man is truly free before he is free from the nature. But being free from the nature is meaningless if there is no reconciliation with her afterwards.
So I guess, in the midst of my jumbled-up thoughts, I realize something invaluable as I browse through this pile of writings. I am writing to no one, or to everyone, but more importantly, I am writing for my future self.
Hi future self, if you see this post, kindly remind yourself to check on the "spiritual" progress that you have made, based on the milestones your past selves have planted. Nonetheless, acceptance is key, and all will be well in the end.
Love you,
-Truly Indonesia's Finest.
ps hopefully my next posts are more narrative than abstract. which may not amount much to history but will be way more entertaining. ;)
I began asking these questions as I looked back to my old posts - History kinda repeated itself (Thus I am not of the Hegelian history) as in I some similar patterns repeating over and over. For instance, the drugging my American dorm-mates with Indomie Goreng, not quite a new concept.
I attended a talk by Stanley Morgan just now; which allowed me to kind of peer beyond my 'today' door. I am starting to see a pattern; why doesn't the hard work end? or it will never end? Shall I be thankful nonetheless that I get to work hard? Is life about working hard, or is there more to it? Am I of historical significance? Am I making progress as I destroy myself, as I 'hit the reset button' and 'cross the intersection' or am I taking something with me?
I am quite sure that the voice inside my head is becoming clearer each day, though. I am getting more adept at assigning the sources of these voices too, and to which I should pay heed. My reality creating mechanism is improving a lot as well; and the grasp of certain philosophy and principles allow me to wield them with ease. But nonetheless, I still need to remind myself very often.
Plus one, I am seeing the same patterns with vixens again. But this time, I am able to sort of transcend and attempt to stop myself, before I see history repeating itself again. Guess what, I went to Cambridge, MA, and met her again. It is really true, perhaps, that no man is truly free before he is free from the nature. But being free from the nature is meaningless if there is no reconciliation with her afterwards.
So I guess, in the midst of my jumbled-up thoughts, I realize something invaluable as I browse through this pile of writings. I am writing to no one, or to everyone, but more importantly, I am writing for my future self.
Hi future self, if you see this post, kindly remind yourself to check on the "spiritual" progress that you have made, based on the milestones your past selves have planted. Nonetheless, acceptance is key, and all will be well in the end.
Love you,
-Truly Indonesia's Finest.
ps hopefully my next posts are more narrative than abstract. which may not amount much to history but will be way more entertaining. ;)
Sunday, 29 September 2013
Create
It has been awhile since I updated this blog.
Not that all the sudden I have time, it is just that I have a sudden urge to.
How is Amherst,
you would ask?
I would say that it is fine, as always. Me? Too.
I have been blessed abundantly. Whenever there are plenty of things for me to do, even at the expense of my energy and sleep, I am happy. Nonetheless, it becomes difficult to be free.
The international students can testify this; immersing yourself overseas is all about losing yourself. You compromise yourself, change, adapt, and you'd no longer see 'you' in the mirror. I feel that this post turns into a new circle, as it shared a common concern with my second blog post.
Nonetheless, I am fine, as always.
I have to be fine, as always.
Even if I am happy or sad, healthy or bleeding, peaceful or pressured, I have to enjoy them all, as always.
For I know two things: I shall transcend myself, and everything will be fine in the end. Nankurunaisa.
-Indonesia's Finest,
Not that all the sudden I have time, it is just that I have a sudden urge to.
How is Amherst,
you would ask?
I would say that it is fine, as always. Me? Too.
I have been blessed abundantly. Whenever there are plenty of things for me to do, even at the expense of my energy and sleep, I am happy. Nonetheless, it becomes difficult to be free.
The international students can testify this; immersing yourself overseas is all about losing yourself. You compromise yourself, change, adapt, and you'd no longer see 'you' in the mirror. I feel that this post turns into a new circle, as it shared a common concern with my second blog post.
Nonetheless, I am fine, as always.
I have to be fine, as always.
Even if I am happy or sad, healthy or bleeding, peaceful or pressured, I have to enjoy them all, as always.
For I know two things: I shall transcend myself, and everything will be fine in the end. Nankurunaisa.
-Indonesia's Finest,
Saturday, 17 August 2013
Of Prayers.
I've been taught how to pray.
Not
"Dear God, I am so afraid. I have many problems and troubles looming ahead of me.. Please help me.."
"Dear God, I am so afraid. I have many problems and troubles looming ahead of me.. Please help me.."
Rather,
"Hello problems and troubles, I am not afraid, because I have my God."
Amen.
Tuesday, 6 August 2013
The Canvass
I have never thought myself as an 'artistic' person. To me, art equates to beauty, splendor, and intellectual sophistication; All of these which had little room in my crass and pragmatic way of living. However, I recently discovered that art can be seen as an expression of self, a process of creation, and with that I became her ally.
This post is a sharing from my encounter with a certain someone who delves in the world of 'art', which acts as a reconciliation of the basics he taught me. As of today, he is the only Indonesian art collector who reads proper 'Art Theory', or so he said. Regardless of the truth of the previous statement, what he shared you might find useful should you ever find yourself trapped in intellectual cocktail parties. Enjoy.
So he began from the latest two eras of art: The era of modern art (20th century) and the era of contemporary art (21st century, the present).
I fathom that novices in the art world, very much like myself, are stuck with the modern era definition of 'art'. Originality was emphasized, art served to please the eyes, and form triumphed over content. Modernists strived to be an avant garde in their works which meant looking backwards was frowned upon. As such, incorporating culture and tradition into their creation was a taboo. This led to the abandonment of old identities and the embrace of universalism. In the spirit of modernism, the works of a French painter should not be culturally distinct from the works of a Japanese, they only need to be different, to be original, without a single trace of the past. It was not unlike a horse wearing blinkers, tunneling their vision to the roads straight upfront.
Therefore the birth of very distinct, very original, but 'formful' styles of art in this era, such as Picasso's Cubism and Van Gogh's Expressionism. The latter artist's works are supposedly able to transfer and wholly convey their painter's feelings to their viewer, as in the ecstasy of Sunflower painting and the stressfulness of the Scream painting. In other words, seeing the Sunflower somehow should make us feel bubbly, while seeing the Scream would somehow make us feel Van Gogh's stress.
Moreover, there are several additional rules that make an art acknowledged as a modern art. Firstly, there is formalism, which dictates that a good modern art must have a significant form, like proper brush strokes or befitting colour combinations. The bad ones don't follow these 'forms'. Then there is medium specificity, where a two-dimensional modern art must be a painting on a canvass while a three-dimensional modern art must be a sculpture. Another sentence to emphasis on the word 'must'. Finally, a modern art needs to be something distant from everyday experience, that is to say, something as quotidian as a Campbell tomato soup can was never accepted as an artwork in the modern era of art.
Thenceforth, a modern artwork has a duty to depict beauty with whatever means the artist had: lines, colour, texture, space, composition, et cetera; to the extent that visuals are what is important, neither the message of the artist that he wished to convey nor the context of the production of the artwork. Once again, modern art is always form over content.
Things did get rather interesting in the 1960s, a transitionary era of art, where brilliant artisans such as Robert Rauschenberg tested the waters of the modern art. He created something that is in between a sculpture and a painting, something that can be described as a three-dimensional canvass. These are definitely aesthetically pleasing, but these do not conform to modern art's rigid rule of medium specificity. People began to rethink their definitions of art, an artistic renaissance was set in motion, and contemporary art was born.
The art critique Arthur C. Datho wrote in his famous essay, 'The End of Art', that in contemporary art, an artwork and a non artwork are visually indistinguishable. Take Andy Warhol's Brillo Box exhibition which depicted consumerism, for instance. Datho found that the Brillo boxes in Warhol's exhibitions are exact copies of their cousins found in the next door supermarket. So as our minds converge with Arthur Datho's back then, a crucial question pops up in our heads: What then, is the thing that distinguishes an artwork from an ordinary, mundane, quotidian object?
It is not the fact that the artwork is produced by the artists themselves. It is neither the fact that the artwork is exhibited in art galleries or museums. Andy Warhol went as far as to introduce his artworks as 'products' produced by his 'workers' in his 'factory', intently avoiding the word 'studio' or 'gallery', as he tried to underscore what makes a contemporary artwork an artwork.
The answer lies in, as some of you should have inferred by now, the content that the art piece carries, or the context under which it was constructed. In the contemporary era, art is no longer a slave to the eyes of the seekers of beauty. Thus, form is mostly, if not all, obsolete in contemporary art. Less stress is placed on originality and innovation as well. It is, therefore, content over form. The more thought provoking, the more artistic.
Of course, some themes are more popular than the rest. In the era of extreme mobility, identity and culture becomes something very elusive. Ideas, concepts, and beliefs get transferred from one to another and mixed without mercy, forming a vague concoction of lifestyle that we claim as our own. Thus, a lot of contemporary masterpieces seek to embody our struggles in the formation of our identity, retaining some and letting go of some, while evening out the odd. Take a look in the Jacuzzi in Japan's Naoshima Island, which is an art labeled by its creator as a 'cultural melting bath'. Visitors from different corners of the earth meet as they bath, and as they interact, they share whatever cultures they carry with them. Thus a brilliant form of art, which is not passively and voyeuristically enjoyed, but experienced. The visitor becomes part of the artist's masterpiece.
Thus, in these contemporary times, there are no boundaries left. Everything can be an art. Even that chained-on-the-wall and starved-to-death dog or that exhibition of painted red squares.
You're welcome.
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
This post is a sharing from my encounter with a certain someone who delves in the world of 'art', which acts as a reconciliation of the basics he taught me. As of today, he is the only Indonesian art collector who reads proper 'Art Theory', or so he said. Regardless of the truth of the previous statement, what he shared you might find useful should you ever find yourself trapped in intellectual cocktail parties. Enjoy.
So he began from the latest two eras of art: The era of modern art (20th century) and the era of contemporary art (21st century, the present).
I fathom that novices in the art world, very much like myself, are stuck with the modern era definition of 'art'. Originality was emphasized, art served to please the eyes, and form triumphed over content. Modernists strived to be an avant garde in their works which meant looking backwards was frowned upon. As such, incorporating culture and tradition into their creation was a taboo. This led to the abandonment of old identities and the embrace of universalism. In the spirit of modernism, the works of a French painter should not be culturally distinct from the works of a Japanese, they only need to be different, to be original, without a single trace of the past. It was not unlike a horse wearing blinkers, tunneling their vision to the roads straight upfront.
Therefore the birth of very distinct, very original, but 'formful' styles of art in this era, such as Picasso's Cubism and Van Gogh's Expressionism. The latter artist's works are supposedly able to transfer and wholly convey their painter's feelings to their viewer, as in the ecstasy of Sunflower painting and the stressfulness of the Scream painting. In other words, seeing the Sunflower somehow should make us feel bubbly, while seeing the Scream would somehow make us feel Van Gogh's stress.
Moreover, there are several additional rules that make an art acknowledged as a modern art. Firstly, there is formalism, which dictates that a good modern art must have a significant form, like proper brush strokes or befitting colour combinations. The bad ones don't follow these 'forms'. Then there is medium specificity, where a two-dimensional modern art must be a painting on a canvass while a three-dimensional modern art must be a sculpture. Another sentence to emphasis on the word 'must'. Finally, a modern art needs to be something distant from everyday experience, that is to say, something as quotidian as a Campbell tomato soup can was never accepted as an artwork in the modern era of art.
Thenceforth, a modern artwork has a duty to depict beauty with whatever means the artist had: lines, colour, texture, space, composition, et cetera; to the extent that visuals are what is important, neither the message of the artist that he wished to convey nor the context of the production of the artwork. Once again, modern art is always form over content.
Things did get rather interesting in the 1960s, a transitionary era of art, where brilliant artisans such as Robert Rauschenberg tested the waters of the modern art. He created something that is in between a sculpture and a painting, something that can be described as a three-dimensional canvass. These are definitely aesthetically pleasing, but these do not conform to modern art's rigid rule of medium specificity. People began to rethink their definitions of art, an artistic renaissance was set in motion, and contemporary art was born.
The art critique Arthur C. Datho wrote in his famous essay, 'The End of Art', that in contemporary art, an artwork and a non artwork are visually indistinguishable. Take Andy Warhol's Brillo Box exhibition which depicted consumerism, for instance. Datho found that the Brillo boxes in Warhol's exhibitions are exact copies of their cousins found in the next door supermarket. So as our minds converge with Arthur Datho's back then, a crucial question pops up in our heads: What then, is the thing that distinguishes an artwork from an ordinary, mundane, quotidian object?
It is not the fact that the artwork is produced by the artists themselves. It is neither the fact that the artwork is exhibited in art galleries or museums. Andy Warhol went as far as to introduce his artworks as 'products' produced by his 'workers' in his 'factory', intently avoiding the word 'studio' or 'gallery', as he tried to underscore what makes a contemporary artwork an artwork.
The answer lies in, as some of you should have inferred by now, the content that the art piece carries, or the context under which it was constructed. In the contemporary era, art is no longer a slave to the eyes of the seekers of beauty. Thus, form is mostly, if not all, obsolete in contemporary art. Less stress is placed on originality and innovation as well. It is, therefore, content over form. The more thought provoking, the more artistic.
Of course, some themes are more popular than the rest. In the era of extreme mobility, identity and culture becomes something very elusive. Ideas, concepts, and beliefs get transferred from one to another and mixed without mercy, forming a vague concoction of lifestyle that we claim as our own. Thus, a lot of contemporary masterpieces seek to embody our struggles in the formation of our identity, retaining some and letting go of some, while evening out the odd. Take a look in the Jacuzzi in Japan's Naoshima Island, which is an art labeled by its creator as a 'cultural melting bath'. Visitors from different corners of the earth meet as they bath, and as they interact, they share whatever cultures they carry with them. Thus a brilliant form of art, which is not passively and voyeuristically enjoyed, but experienced. The visitor becomes part of the artist's masterpiece.
Thus, in these contemporary times, there are no boundaries left. Everything can be an art. Even that chained-on-the-wall and starved-to-death dog or that exhibition of painted red squares.
You're welcome.
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
Friday, 2 August 2013
Closure
(by the way, in case you have never realized, this post is a continuation of my Day 38's post - Last Night Out).
This post is dedicated to my little miss sunshine, to the heroine of my Singapore drama, to the 'half' in the one and a half relationships I've ever had.
I don't know if you will ever read this post, but yes, if you ever do, kindly be assured that it's you.
and I am sorry and thankful for everything.
We were talking about having a proper closure and all in Starbucks this morning, and although we've settled on a conclusion, I felt that my talk was cheap, so I'll write my own version of our closure. Sorry for always lurking in the penumbra. I can't imagine how much sadness I caused you, and up until the end of this morning, I have been harboring conflicted feelings.
As a person, my willpower was not of a steel. Seven months ago when I left, I hardened my heart and told myself to move on, for the best of us. For a while I thought I did; but the day we met again, our smiles turned to laughter, which turned to touches. Before long, I found my way back into your warm loving arms, and I had a battle with myself. Why do I have to leave?
However, we have to admit that ultimately both of us were not ready to be in contact with the waters, and thus, for the greater good of us, we have to move on. So you did, with greater and greater acceptance, and me too. But I know too well that there is a part of myself, and a part of yours, that didn't wish for this... It's fine, time will dissolve these feelings; meanwhile allow me to pray for your health, studies, and that your deserved 白马王子 will come timely. I am so glad that you have really grown, and thank you for the acceptance. Trust me, whatever motives you someday might think I had, I care for you, and that is it. Thenceforth comes the closure, the complete circle, and thank you for everything. I hope you enjoyed our time together as much as I did. And hopefully, it will be something we can look back and cherish as best friends in the future.
You are the first to call me panda. You transformed my ':p' to ':b'. You made Interact sessions much more colorful. You taught me empathy, you taught me what it means to work hard and never give up, you taught me to care. Thank you. You allowed me to enjoy witnessing a girl maturing, and I am definitely proud of you. You are a best friend whom I can relax and be really at ease. You make me laugh. You said that 'It is better to be bullied than to be ignored', and thus I bullied you. HAHAHA
Thank you so much for accompanying me during the whimsical bus rides, for sharing hugs during rainy days, for the days when we strolled Botanical Gardens with a cup of Island Creamery's ice cream on our hands. In you, I see an amazing friend, a sister, a role model, a teacher, and someone I admired. I will miss dearly your distinct fragrance, your barrage of infinite questions, and your forgetful auntie demeanor. HAHAHA
So, all the best for your prelims, A Levels, and everything else! I pray that your 白马王子 will come and snatch your heart away real soon, and for your health and amazing family as well. Help me thank your parents as well, they're awesome ;)
See you again someday! We will. Kindly take care until then:)
Yours Truly,
This post is dedicated to my little miss sunshine, to the heroine of my Singapore drama, to the 'half' in the one and a half relationships I've ever had.
I don't know if you will ever read this post, but yes, if you ever do, kindly be assured that it's you.
and I am sorry and thankful for everything.
We were talking about having a proper closure and all in Starbucks this morning, and although we've settled on a conclusion, I felt that my talk was cheap, so I'll write my own version of our closure. Sorry for always lurking in the penumbra. I can't imagine how much sadness I caused you, and up until the end of this morning, I have been harboring conflicted feelings.
As a person, my willpower was not of a steel. Seven months ago when I left, I hardened my heart and told myself to move on, for the best of us. For a while I thought I did; but the day we met again, our smiles turned to laughter, which turned to touches. Before long, I found my way back into your warm loving arms, and I had a battle with myself. Why do I have to leave?
However, we have to admit that ultimately both of us were not ready to be in contact with the waters, and thus, for the greater good of us, we have to move on. So you did, with greater and greater acceptance, and me too. But I know too well that there is a part of myself, and a part of yours, that didn't wish for this... It's fine, time will dissolve these feelings; meanwhile allow me to pray for your health, studies, and that your deserved 白马王子 will come timely. I am so glad that you have really grown, and thank you for the acceptance. Trust me, whatever motives you someday might think I had, I care for you, and that is it. Thenceforth comes the closure, the complete circle, and thank you for everything. I hope you enjoyed our time together as much as I did. And hopefully, it will be something we can look back and cherish as best friends in the future.
You are the first to call me panda. You transformed my ':p' to ':b'. You made Interact sessions much more colorful. You taught me empathy, you taught me what it means to work hard and never give up, you taught me to care. Thank you. You allowed me to enjoy witnessing a girl maturing, and I am definitely proud of you. You are a best friend whom I can relax and be really at ease. You make me laugh. You said that 'It is better to be bullied than to be ignored', and thus I bullied you. HAHAHA
Thank you so much for accompanying me during the whimsical bus rides, for sharing hugs during rainy days, for the days when we strolled Botanical Gardens with a cup of Island Creamery's ice cream on our hands. In you, I see an amazing friend, a sister, a role model, a teacher, and someone I admired. I will miss dearly your distinct fragrance, your barrage of infinite questions, and your forgetful auntie demeanor. HAHAHA
So, all the best for your prelims, A Levels, and everything else! I pray that your 白马王子 will come and snatch your heart away real soon, and for your health and amazing family as well. Help me thank your parents as well, they're awesome ;)
See you again someday! We will. Kindly take care until then:)
Yours Truly,
(Saying goodbye) to the Air Conditioned Nation
Once upon a time, there was a boy who strived to be popular among girls by studying harder, and he got a scholarship instead. (kindly refer to the post, Uno Amor, for more details)
It was a premium ticket to the Merlion-donning island nation, Singapore, for four years of free studying and boarding.
I still faintly recall the words written in the cover page of a scholar's handbook given to us during secondary 3, which read: "I am not telling you that it is going to be easy, but I am telling you that it is going to be worth it."
As I went for a seven day trip to Singapore to face her one more time before I study even further overseas, indeed, the words deeply buried in my thoughts years ago rang truer than ever. I can still vividly recall the day my mother informed me of my younger brother's success in getting the same award, the first thing that popped up into my mind was: "Yay, someone to accompany me in this hellhole."
Perhaps it was the difficult curriculum, the rather tense and hostile atmosphere, or even the fierce competition that made the air in Singapore rather heavy. We were scholars, and we had to at least pretend to act proper, guarding our image and behaving in the most appropriate manners as whenever any miniscule wrongdoings are judged, the word 'scholar' would be the first used to mince us. Interestingly, I also learned how to juggle when to mix with the locals thereby getting my identity diffused and when to take a step back to preserve what is left.
Nonetheless, despite the pressurizing studies, less-than-friendly gestures, and crippling homesickness (especially if you are feeling lonely), I have made irreplaceable friends and memories along the way. I am also grateful for the fact that I have guardian angels protecting me throughout, taking forms of a concerned classmate, a warm teacher, a caring canteen stall auntie, or even a friendly bus driver. They made living in Singapore so much easier, and leaving Singapore so much harder.
Thus I loaded my trip with meetings with friends, which involved a sleep-over and a HTHT until 3am in one of my best friend's dorm room at PGP ;) thanks for having me there bro. My trip's highlight can be summarized by three words: Friends, Food, and Travel. Thus, whenever I am not talking to a friend over a scrumptious dish or a cup of coffee, I would either be lying on my bed sleeping, or taking the SBS or SMRT travelling.
I always had this affection to SBS buses. They offer fantastic sceneries (especially the double-decker ones) together with the comfortableness of air-conditioning. Moreover, the fare comes quite cheap. Lastly, when coupled with MRTs, travelling from any point 'A' to another point 'B' in Singapore will be very likely to take less than an hour, which is an amazing feat unparalleled by other metropolitan cities in the world. This is definitely one side of Singapore that I'll miss.
I would also miss the morning runs in Mc Ritchie Reservoir, taking random SBS double decker buses with no definite destination in mind, the evening runs around Raffles Institution, strolling in Botanical Gardens, roaming around at Pulau Ubin, and cycling at East Coast Park. To be very honest, I spent very little of my time in these places; ironically the impact they imparted on me was huge.
However, Singapore changes very rapidly, as with other developed metropolitan cities. Parting is such a sweet sorrow, and I spent my seven days there in a mixture of melancholy and gratefulness. I fear, what if there will come a day when I go back to Singapore only to find that I can no longer recognize her?
So I calmed down and told myself: "It's fine. Just as what (I) am doing now, recollecting the old times while making new memories synchronously. That way, saying goodbye will be less painful and more joyful, for in the future, when we meet again, the farewell back then becomes a part of the hello."
I shall.
Thank you Singapore. It has been a worthwhile four year journey with you. I'll be back.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
It was a premium ticket to the Merlion-donning island nation, Singapore, for four years of free studying and boarding.
I still faintly recall the words written in the cover page of a scholar's handbook given to us during secondary 3, which read: "I am not telling you that it is going to be easy, but I am telling you that it is going to be worth it."
As I went for a seven day trip to Singapore to face her one more time before I study even further overseas, indeed, the words deeply buried in my thoughts years ago rang truer than ever. I can still vividly recall the day my mother informed me of my younger brother's success in getting the same award, the first thing that popped up into my mind was: "Yay, someone to accompany me in this hellhole."
Perhaps it was the difficult curriculum, the rather tense and hostile atmosphere, or even the fierce competition that made the air in Singapore rather heavy. We were scholars, and we had to at least pretend to act proper, guarding our image and behaving in the most appropriate manners as whenever any miniscule wrongdoings are judged, the word 'scholar' would be the first used to mince us. Interestingly, I also learned how to juggle when to mix with the locals thereby getting my identity diffused and when to take a step back to preserve what is left.
Nonetheless, despite the pressurizing studies, less-than-friendly gestures, and crippling homesickness (especially if you are feeling lonely), I have made irreplaceable friends and memories along the way. I am also grateful for the fact that I have guardian angels protecting me throughout, taking forms of a concerned classmate, a warm teacher, a caring canteen stall auntie, or even a friendly bus driver. They made living in Singapore so much easier, and leaving Singapore so much harder.
Thus I loaded my trip with meetings with friends, which involved a sleep-over and a HTHT until 3am in one of my best friend's dorm room at PGP ;) thanks for having me there bro. My trip's highlight can be summarized by three words: Friends, Food, and Travel. Thus, whenever I am not talking to a friend over a scrumptious dish or a cup of coffee, I would either be lying on my bed sleeping, or taking the SBS or SMRT travelling.
I always had this affection to SBS buses. They offer fantastic sceneries (especially the double-decker ones) together with the comfortableness of air-conditioning. Moreover, the fare comes quite cheap. Lastly, when coupled with MRTs, travelling from any point 'A' to another point 'B' in Singapore will be very likely to take less than an hour, which is an amazing feat unparalleled by other metropolitan cities in the world. This is definitely one side of Singapore that I'll miss.
I would also miss the morning runs in Mc Ritchie Reservoir, taking random SBS double decker buses with no definite destination in mind, the evening runs around Raffles Institution, strolling in Botanical Gardens, roaming around at Pulau Ubin, and cycling at East Coast Park. To be very honest, I spent very little of my time in these places; ironically the impact they imparted on me was huge.
However, Singapore changes very rapidly, as with other developed metropolitan cities. Parting is such a sweet sorrow, and I spent my seven days there in a mixture of melancholy and gratefulness. I fear, what if there will come a day when I go back to Singapore only to find that I can no longer recognize her?
So I calmed down and told myself: "It's fine. Just as what (I) am doing now, recollecting the old times while making new memories synchronously. That way, saying goodbye will be less painful and more joyful, for in the future, when we meet again, the farewell back then becomes a part of the hello."
I shall.
Thank you Singapore. It has been a worthwhile four year journey with you. I'll be back.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
The God Eye
This blog entry is a response from a book titled <<A Fortune Teller -Told Me: Earthbound Travels in Far East>> by a renowned Italian author and journalist: Tiziano Terzani. I greatly recommend reading his rich masterpiece, especially those who are interested in journalism, history, philosophy, globalization, Asian culture and spiritualism.
It is said that in America, it is necessary for one to be acquainted with two kinds of people: a doctor and a lawyer. For us South East Asians, a third kind is necessary: a fortune teller. Address him or her by whatever honorifics: soothsayer, dukun, bomoh, gypsy, Feng Shui master, astrologer, tarot reader, so on and so forth; As Terzani points out, these people who are able to abridge the information asymmetry with nonhuman ways still hold pivotal roles in the lives of many South East Asians today.
These people belong to a class of beings who have access to information provided outside their five senses, or at least claim to be, whether by the means of a third-eye, black or white magic, holy prayers, or even stringent and precise astrological calculations combined with readings of body parts (either the face, the palms, or the feet). Terzani, having been predicted to encounter a catastrophe if he opted to fly during the year of 1993 by a renowned fortune teller in Hong Kong, found himself exploring South East Asia without being airborne in search of these people: Primarily as a cross-reference to his maiden fortune-telling experience, and as time passed, rather for amusement.
Along the way, however, he explores how globalization took out the last of "virginity" in Asia, as he laments the process of modernization ultimately leading to uniformity and with that, plain dullness. He also explored the changing current belief systems held by Asians, which are laden with discrepancies, ironies, and contradictions. Yet, he found himself (along with an increasing number of Asian youths) more and more attracted to the traditional, old school mysticism, which still has a stronghold in the region: He claimed that in countries such as Singapore, Sri Lanka, and Malaysia, such people are involved in high officials' decision-making and in counter espionage. Yes, wow.
His literature made me think of my own encounters with such holders of the 'God Eye'.
As a good South-East Asian, yes, I must profess I am acquainted with two such people. However, one is a teller, and the other (exceedingly rare) is rather a mentor and a teacher. Terzani made me think of how much of the future we can ethically know, and how much of the future we need to know. Is there such a thing as knowing too much of your own future? Does curiosity really kill the cat? It is instinctive for a man's mind to wander somewhere in the future, or somewhere in the past, but never in the present where there is happiness; Thus the rationale of not relying on them too much. I also believe that perhaps I have been told too much.
Another aspect is how accurate are these God Eye. As I compared and cross-checked projections of Terzani's future by these people, I could not notice big discrepancies and inconsistencies. Definitely, there are huge overlaps on his past, and there are significant convergence of his future predictions as well. (One must correctly predict the past in order for his future predictions to be taken seriously, even so, this is likely to be a form of logical fallacy). Let us take a prediction which many fortune tellers told him, which fact is easily verified. The time of his death. Mostly predicted that he will live up to at least 80 years old, if not 85 or even 90 and beyond. Wikipedia says that he died at the age of 65 due to colon cancer.
Thus, one actually questions how accurate and how true can fortune telling get. If the results may be inaccurate after all, why should we bother to have our fortunes told? Perhaps it is karmically negative (or a form of sin) to have our fortunes told, and thence, his short life? Or is it the possibility that future, as in streams of water, flows in infinite and numerous branches, so that the possibilities are endless but these people can only foresee a few? Is it necessary to have a large sample size (of prophecies) so that the sample is not biased, and its margin of error reduced?
God knows.
It is said that in America, it is necessary for one to be acquainted with two kinds of people: a doctor and a lawyer. For us South East Asians, a third kind is necessary: a fortune teller. Address him or her by whatever honorifics: soothsayer, dukun, bomoh, gypsy, Feng Shui master, astrologer, tarot reader, so on and so forth; As Terzani points out, these people who are able to abridge the information asymmetry with nonhuman ways still hold pivotal roles in the lives of many South East Asians today.
These people belong to a class of beings who have access to information provided outside their five senses, or at least claim to be, whether by the means of a third-eye, black or white magic, holy prayers, or even stringent and precise astrological calculations combined with readings of body parts (either the face, the palms, or the feet). Terzani, having been predicted to encounter a catastrophe if he opted to fly during the year of 1993 by a renowned fortune teller in Hong Kong, found himself exploring South East Asia without being airborne in search of these people: Primarily as a cross-reference to his maiden fortune-telling experience, and as time passed, rather for amusement.
Along the way, however, he explores how globalization took out the last of "virginity" in Asia, as he laments the process of modernization ultimately leading to uniformity and with that, plain dullness. He also explored the changing current belief systems held by Asians, which are laden with discrepancies, ironies, and contradictions. Yet, he found himself (along with an increasing number of Asian youths) more and more attracted to the traditional, old school mysticism, which still has a stronghold in the region: He claimed that in countries such as Singapore, Sri Lanka, and Malaysia, such people are involved in high officials' decision-making and in counter espionage. Yes, wow.
His literature made me think of my own encounters with such holders of the 'God Eye'.
As a good South-East Asian, yes, I must profess I am acquainted with two such people. However, one is a teller, and the other (exceedingly rare) is rather a mentor and a teacher. Terzani made me think of how much of the future we can ethically know, and how much of the future we need to know. Is there such a thing as knowing too much of your own future? Does curiosity really kill the cat? It is instinctive for a man's mind to wander somewhere in the future, or somewhere in the past, but never in the present where there is happiness; Thus the rationale of not relying on them too much. I also believe that perhaps I have been told too much.
Another aspect is how accurate are these God Eye. As I compared and cross-checked projections of Terzani's future by these people, I could not notice big discrepancies and inconsistencies. Definitely, there are huge overlaps on his past, and there are significant convergence of his future predictions as well. (One must correctly predict the past in order for his future predictions to be taken seriously, even so, this is likely to be a form of logical fallacy). Let us take a prediction which many fortune tellers told him, which fact is easily verified. The time of his death. Mostly predicted that he will live up to at least 80 years old, if not 85 or even 90 and beyond. Wikipedia says that he died at the age of 65 due to colon cancer.
Thus, one actually questions how accurate and how true can fortune telling get. If the results may be inaccurate after all, why should we bother to have our fortunes told? Perhaps it is karmically negative (or a form of sin) to have our fortunes told, and thence, his short life? Or is it the possibility that future, as in streams of water, flows in infinite and numerous branches, so that the possibilities are endless but these people can only foresee a few? Is it necessary to have a large sample size (of prophecies) so that the sample is not biased, and its margin of error reduced?
God knows.
Sunday, 21 July 2013
Travelogue.
Why do people travel?
Humans are essentially animals: They are nature's dynamic half. Try sitting still. Try not to move. At all. For a long time. You'll have problems.
For one, there is this term 'wanderlust' which coins the need for us to travel, the yearning of being in a place we've never been. Others travel to work, to meet other people, (ironically) to relax, or perhaps to reconsolidate their immortalized memories and scraps of nostalgia.
I had bits of every single one of these as I travelled to Bali and Surabaya for the past week. I relaxed, attended a wedding, met a friend, finished two books, set out on a culinary adventure, recovered from my flu, thought, reflected, and meditated during the trip.
It struck me that Jakarta, Surabaya, and Bali are all distinctly Indonesian, but with differing characteristics. Of course, you'd argue, that the heavily collared CBD workers of Jakarta would contrast with aloha-and-shorts tourists laden in Bali; That the rustic, seemingly pre-colonized scatters of buildings in West Surabaya would be starkly different from Bali's cornucopia of resorts laid atop of infinite white sands.
You'd be very right! However, I discovered these differences behind the wheels of the car I was driving. Bali is abundant with pleasantly long and winding roads which are sandwiched by pleasant sceneries on the sides, but mostly are single lanes.. thus making overtaking a slow car a difficult if not impossible feat. In Surabaya, drivers are a little bit more rushed than Bali but more relaxed than Jakarta, with the characteristic one-way roads and detailed signposts (I think it is the only place I've ever been with a sign under the traffic lights that read: "Turn left according to the circumstances ascribed by the (traffic) lights"). And oh, Bali had a highway built on top of the sea. Yes, a sea, but it hasn't been opened as our mr President hasn't officially cast his blessings on it.
They say people remember roads better when they actually drive the car. I have a hunch saying that I am driving past these roads too quickly, but hopefully they'll remain by my romanticized nostalgias..
I've to stop soon. Good night:)
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
Humans are essentially animals: They are nature's dynamic half. Try sitting still. Try not to move. At all. For a long time. You'll have problems.
For one, there is this term 'wanderlust' which coins the need for us to travel, the yearning of being in a place we've never been. Others travel to work, to meet other people, (ironically) to relax, or perhaps to reconsolidate their immortalized memories and scraps of nostalgia.
I had bits of every single one of these as I travelled to Bali and Surabaya for the past week. I relaxed, attended a wedding, met a friend, finished two books, set out on a culinary adventure, recovered from my flu, thought, reflected, and meditated during the trip.
It struck me that Jakarta, Surabaya, and Bali are all distinctly Indonesian, but with differing characteristics. Of course, you'd argue, that the heavily collared CBD workers of Jakarta would contrast with aloha-and-shorts tourists laden in Bali; That the rustic, seemingly pre-colonized scatters of buildings in West Surabaya would be starkly different from Bali's cornucopia of resorts laid atop of infinite white sands.
You'd be very right! However, I discovered these differences behind the wheels of the car I was driving. Bali is abundant with pleasantly long and winding roads which are sandwiched by pleasant sceneries on the sides, but mostly are single lanes.. thus making overtaking a slow car a difficult if not impossible feat. In Surabaya, drivers are a little bit more rushed than Bali but more relaxed than Jakarta, with the characteristic one-way roads and detailed signposts (I think it is the only place I've ever been with a sign under the traffic lights that read: "Turn left according to the circumstances ascribed by the (traffic) lights"). And oh, Bali had a highway built on top of the sea. Yes, a sea, but it hasn't been opened as our mr President hasn't officially cast his blessings on it.
They say people remember roads better when they actually drive the car. I have a hunch saying that I am driving past these roads too quickly, but hopefully they'll remain by my romanticized nostalgias..
I've to stop soon. Good night:)
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
Thursday, 18 July 2013
Inspire.
Inspiration comes when one is not looking for it.
When one sits on an edge of a paddy field, a jade-coloured rug full of life force. Wind breezes by every now and then, gently caressing these scrawny but beautiful creatures, reminding one of timorous waves waltzing across the ocean.
When one drives by an empty street in the middle of the night, accompanied by a favorite music sung by the radio, at a speed fast enough to keep drowsiness at bay, but slow enough for the reflexes to manoeuvre should a stray motorbike cut across.
When one stands barefoot in a shallow sea, waves warmly massaging one's limbs, with one's eyes savouring the scene where mountains meet oceans, which is once said as having belonged to the heavens.
In these moments, an Epiphany.
Or.
Nonetheless, it can be broken down to two essentials: Freedom of and/or from judgement, and conversion of energy.
Chiefly, however, I have to introduce my recently acquired (or realized) pattern of thought: Creationism. I'll have it explained in greater details in my 《world views》post later, but to simply put it, my inner world revolves around a dogma summarized by a question: what sort of outer world are my thoughts, words, and actions creating?
I discovered that I was being judgmental. Albeit I count myself as part of people who judges less, I discover I judge two people very harshly: The girl(s) I attach romantic interests and affairs to, and myself.
The former is perhaps a form of self defense mechanism, an iron wall, a coffee strainer. The latter, however, meant I wasn't able to accept myself the way I am.
A few hours ago, I was queuing with my mom to buy some medicine, and she has almost finished the transaction when I discovered a chewing gum I wanted to buy. I took it, held it out in front of the cashier, but the impatient lady behind me was handing her tiny cream and telling the cashier that it was the only thing she was buying (mbak, ini aja barangnya. ini aja barangnya.) I immediately replaced the gum and exited the store with my mom.
Perhaps I was afraid of offending the rushing lady or I was afraid to be seen as jumping the queue. Either way, as I walked along the densely populated streets of Kuta, I immediately blamed myself for being so timid. There and then I caught myself judging, and told myself that it is alright. One instance does not determine another. There is impermanence, randomness, and unpredictability.
I remember judging myself as being sensitive. It is nothing more than allowing other people's words to hurt you. Now, no more. For one, neither your own nor other people's adjectives shall suffice in describing you as a whole person. One instance doesn't determine the rest. Otherwise, you can always take it as a compliment;)
Don't judge and bar yourself from being judged. Start from thyself!
The other lesson learnt is that if people go into great lengths sending bad, negative, or dark energies to you, either through their minds, speeches, or actions, one of the best elixirs would be by saying thank you. When said with intent and meaning, gratitude does not only neutralize these harmful wavelengths, they transform these into beneficial, positive energies.
Positive thinking is but a powerful cliche.
Believe that you have the capacity to tame even the roughest seas, to protect yourself from the most malicious black magic, and to create your grandest dreams.
For a faith as small as a seed, where correctly held and applied, can move mountains.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest.
When one sits on an edge of a paddy field, a jade-coloured rug full of life force. Wind breezes by every now and then, gently caressing these scrawny but beautiful creatures, reminding one of timorous waves waltzing across the ocean.
When one drives by an empty street in the middle of the night, accompanied by a favorite music sung by the radio, at a speed fast enough to keep drowsiness at bay, but slow enough for the reflexes to manoeuvre should a stray motorbike cut across.
When one stands barefoot in a shallow sea, waves warmly massaging one's limbs, with one's eyes savouring the scene where mountains meet oceans, which is once said as having belonged to the heavens.
In these moments, an Epiphany.
Or.
Nonetheless, it can be broken down to two essentials: Freedom of and/or from judgement, and conversion of energy.
Chiefly, however, I have to introduce my recently acquired (or realized) pattern of thought: Creationism. I'll have it explained in greater details in my 《world views》post later, but to simply put it, my inner world revolves around a dogma summarized by a question: what sort of outer world are my thoughts, words, and actions creating?
I discovered that I was being judgmental. Albeit I count myself as part of people who judges less, I discover I judge two people very harshly: The girl(s) I attach romantic interests and affairs to, and myself.
The former is perhaps a form of self defense mechanism, an iron wall, a coffee strainer. The latter, however, meant I wasn't able to accept myself the way I am.
A few hours ago, I was queuing with my mom to buy some medicine, and she has almost finished the transaction when I discovered a chewing gum I wanted to buy. I took it, held it out in front of the cashier, but the impatient lady behind me was handing her tiny cream and telling the cashier that it was the only thing she was buying (mbak, ini aja barangnya. ini aja barangnya.) I immediately replaced the gum and exited the store with my mom.
Perhaps I was afraid of offending the rushing lady or I was afraid to be seen as jumping the queue. Either way, as I walked along the densely populated streets of Kuta, I immediately blamed myself for being so timid. There and then I caught myself judging, and told myself that it is alright. One instance does not determine another. There is impermanence, randomness, and unpredictability.
I remember judging myself as being sensitive. It is nothing more than allowing other people's words to hurt you. Now, no more. For one, neither your own nor other people's adjectives shall suffice in describing you as a whole person. One instance doesn't determine the rest. Otherwise, you can always take it as a compliment;)
Don't judge and bar yourself from being judged. Start from thyself!
The other lesson learnt is that if people go into great lengths sending bad, negative, or dark energies to you, either through their minds, speeches, or actions, one of the best elixirs would be by saying thank you. When said with intent and meaning, gratitude does not only neutralize these harmful wavelengths, they transform these into beneficial, positive energies.
Positive thinking is but a powerful cliche.
Believe that you have the capacity to tame even the roughest seas, to protect yourself from the most malicious black magic, and to create your grandest dreams.
For a faith as small as a seed, where correctly held and applied, can move mountains.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest.
Saturday, 13 July 2013
10 year plan!
Alright,
Allow me to make myself clear here. I uploaded such a plan and passworded it not because I am attention seeking or anything, just that I wanted to set myself a reminder of my possible plan in the next ten years or so. It'll serve as a good device to discriminate against those who actually read or don't read my post;)
Okay, as I turned twenty a few weeks back, I'll hit 30 in ten years time (simple maths yeah)
I have thought about some things to achieve, and as such I am prepared to answer the three questions myself on another blog post(s). Of course, I am far from understanding my own life purpose; much less living my own personal legend. It is very possible that my aspirations are still unaligned with my higher self's, at my current state of being. Nonetheless, I shall make a bold attempt to try and make this 10 year plan anyway, which will hopefully serve as a guideline and a motivation. At least, it will be interesting to look back at this in years to come, right? ;)
Okay, here goes something..
A little bit too ambitious of me, perhaps. But if my higher self wills it, then nothing can stop these from happening. On one hand, a little bit too concrete, on another, a little bit too ambiguous. It's alright. I'll do my best:)
For the World, for the Light, for the Universe.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
PS: password available upon request. Will warn you first, you might find the content tl;dr lol.
Allow me to make myself clear here. I uploaded such a plan and passworded it not because I am attention seeking or anything, just that I wanted to set myself a reminder of my possible plan in the next ten years or so. It'll serve as a good device to discriminate against those who actually read or don't read my post;)
Okay, as I turned twenty a few weeks back, I'll hit 30 in ten years time (simple maths yeah)
I have thought about some things to achieve, and as such I am prepared to answer the three questions myself on another blog post(s). Of course, I am far from understanding my own life purpose; much less living my own personal legend. It is very possible that my aspirations are still unaligned with my higher self's, at my current state of being. Nonetheless, I shall make a bold attempt to try and make this 10 year plan anyway, which will hopefully serve as a guideline and a motivation. At least, it will be interesting to look back at this in years to come, right? ;)
Okay, here goes something..
A little bit too ambitious of me, perhaps. But if my higher self wills it, then nothing can stop these from happening. On one hand, a little bit too concrete, on another, a little bit too ambiguous. It's alright. I'll do my best:)
For the World, for the Light, for the Universe.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
PS: password available upon request. Will warn you first, you might find the content tl;dr lol.
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
Mutual Interdependence
I'll begin by saying this: it is good to be back.
In Beijing, I sort of strained my body, and I promised him to rest adequately. I failed to keep up with the promise, and now he is forcing me to (by the means of a slight flu).
It is such a shame, though, that I had to attend the scholars reunion in such a condition. My friend asked me how I was feeling like, and I told him that I felt akin to having smoked a bit of weed (no, I have never tried it before, but I do imagine it is what it feels like) Thus, I had to decline their offer of staying over in Ancol's Taman Puteri Duyung. :(
I will be most probably leaving at the 19th of August latest for the United States, and thus I have over a month here. It is very fortuitous, hence, to have the opportunity to meet these friends:)
我想介绍一下他们，在新加坡上中学的时候，他们不是我的同学（男孩）就是我的住在同样宿舍的朋友（女孩）。我记得那时候我们六点就不能出去宿舍，感觉十分无聊。当时，我们不得不一块儿打发时间，因此我们的友谊变成特别深，对我来说，有些朋友好像我的兄弟姐妹。可是，我们毕业以后真可惜没什么机会见面，也没那么保持联系。在我的心里我知道，他们必然改变，跟之前有不相同的方面。我也知道，我不可能重温旧梦。于是，我只希望我们见面的时候还是算好朋友。。
They are crossing the crossroads at this moment of time as well. Although most are going back to Singapore, some spread their wings even further, to the likes of United Kingdom and the United States. And it'll be difficult to see their faces once more.
I lost one and gained another. They are different but are the same at the same time; I still suck at talking to the girls (really, I have no idea what is there to be talked about), there are still plenty of jokes I don't get, but deep down they are still very caring and fun.
Perhaps, it is I, who have changed too much. Or them.
Nonetheless, the most important thing is still the fact that we share common memories. We underwent our first two years of hardship in Singapore together. The fact that it has happened, living in the same hostel, playing the same hostel games, fighting against the same lousy hostel rules and the stern and unforgiving hostel manager, are all what matters. You guys are the ones who genuinely comprehend what bearing the word 'scholar' meant.
Nothing on our journey shall be able to change our first dreams.
Thank you, my scholar friends. It has been a pleasure knowing every single one of you, even with all the quirks and the idiosyncrasies. Shall we meet again someday. And when the day comes, let's relive our camaraderie once more.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
In Beijing, I sort of strained my body, and I promised him to rest adequately. I failed to keep up with the promise, and now he is forcing me to (by the means of a slight flu).
It is such a shame, though, that I had to attend the scholars reunion in such a condition. My friend asked me how I was feeling like, and I told him that I felt akin to having smoked a bit of weed (no, I have never tried it before, but I do imagine it is what it feels like) Thus, I had to decline their offer of staying over in Ancol's Taman Puteri Duyung. :(
I will be most probably leaving at the 19th of August latest for the United States, and thus I have over a month here. It is very fortuitous, hence, to have the opportunity to meet these friends:)
我想介绍一下他们，在新加坡上中学的时候，他们不是我的同学（男孩）就是我的住在同样宿舍的朋友（女孩）。我记得那时候我们六点就不能出去宿舍，感觉十分无聊。当时，我们不得不一块儿打发时间，因此我们的友谊变成特别深，对我来说，有些朋友好像我的兄弟姐妹。可是，我们毕业以后真可惜没什么机会见面，也没那么保持联系。在我的心里我知道，他们必然改变，跟之前有不相同的方面。我也知道，我不可能重温旧梦。于是，我只希望我们见面的时候还是算好朋友。。
They are crossing the crossroads at this moment of time as well. Although most are going back to Singapore, some spread their wings even further, to the likes of United Kingdom and the United States. And it'll be difficult to see their faces once more.
I lost one and gained another. They are different but are the same at the same time; I still suck at talking to the girls (really, I have no idea what is there to be talked about), there are still plenty of jokes I don't get, but deep down they are still very caring and fun.
Perhaps, it is I, who have changed too much. Or them.
Nonetheless, the most important thing is still the fact that we share common memories. We underwent our first two years of hardship in Singapore together. The fact that it has happened, living in the same hostel, playing the same hostel games, fighting against the same lousy hostel rules and the stern and unforgiving hostel manager, are all what matters. You guys are the ones who genuinely comprehend what bearing the word 'scholar' meant.
Nothing on our journey shall be able to change our first dreams.
Thank you, my scholar friends. It has been a pleasure knowing every single one of you, even with all the quirks and the idiosyncrasies. Shall we meet again someday. And when the day comes, let's relive our camaraderie once more.
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
Sunday, 7 July 2013
最后一次。
Sorry for writing the title in Chinese, but I guess it is simply befitting to do so given that it is my last day (night) in Beijing. Apologies for the broken, crass, unbeautiful language too. It's just that I feel that for now, speed is of the essence. I will edit it later (if I feel like it hehe)
It's impossible for this single post to cover the my 4 1/2 months of journey here, but I'll give it a go nonetheless. Let us begin with statistics to offer the ending. Over the period of time, I made numerous friends and acquaintances: a large number of Indonesians, a few Chinese, and some internationals. They are mostly from my class, but the spread is amazing, ranging from Switzerland to Kazakhstan.
These people are responsible for bringing me to a bar for a first time. I ordered an Irish Coffee, thinking that it would be a big cup of coffee with diluted, weak alcohol. Instead, it came out to be a small cup of concentrated liquor with a shot of espresso - I barely drank half of it. It was that evening too I had my first taste of cigarette: It is no different from swallowing a bunch of needles. The initial sip sucks as well, but the aftertaste gets a little interesting. Apparently they come in different flavors.
My bigger aim is definitely to learn mandarin, and although I feel that I still have a long way to go, it's not too bad now;) I am fortunate enough to have quite a few guardian angels looking after me, ample opportunities to shop and taste fantastic food, and to visit new places. There are definitely breathtaking sites, be it nature-related or history-related ones. I learnt quite a few lessons about living in Beijing as well, let me share some:
1. There are dumb ways to die in Beijing. Like seriously. Buy a life insurance before coming here.
2. A surgical mask is always handy to have in Beijing. We don't need to discuss about the amazing levels of pollution, it will protect your poor nose from crowded subways in the Summer or the fantastic restrooms here.
3. When crossing Beijing roads, never trust the traffic lights. Trust your surroundings, trust the speed of the car across the road or the one coming to you. To make it more convenient, look for seasoned locals with reasonable walking speed and just copy their exact move.
Having said such, I discover that Beijingers are often very nice, warm, and reasonable people (except when they try to sell stuff). So don't hesitate to stop by and ask a stranger any questions. They are exceptionally good at directions as well. Just mention that you are a 老外 and they will pardon you of whatever you lack, especially the lack of "er"s in your Mandarin. Hahahaha.
Moving on, my language partner also told me some stories about how the game is played by students seeking to enroll in universities, of how it is perfectly acceptable and reasonable for students to pay to receive a recommendation letter from the professors working in the institutions of their dreams.
Looking at the general picture, I discovered that Chinese ideals and cultures do exist. They are a bunch of nationalistic and patriotic people, but they are pragmatic at the same time. Exceedingly practical until it bleeds sometimes. Babies with holes in their pants. Urinals without covers. Generation gap exists, as in everywhere. Virtue and Confucianism still pretty much intact, but there are apparent conflicts with today's materialism and sheer pragmatism. (well, isn't this pretty much happening everywhere these days? haha)
I must profess, there are still some businesses undone, some things unsearched. I guess it was simply not the time yet, I shall grow and focus into the state of being before I can reach that point and meet these particular people. Whatever I did, are doing, or will do to arrive there were, are, or will be rendered useless, but nonetheless, I will keep doing it anyway, until I can stop doing and start being. And only then will everything be paid off.
I also learnt, through the hard way, the necessity to differentiate between gold and worthless alloys. I spent a good four and a half months chasing what I thought to be gold, feeling down, stressed, emotional, and all the unnecessary stuffs and sacrifices, only to discover the gold to be a worthless alloy. Only to discover the metal to be lackluster in comparison to the gold I discovered a few days before my last day here. The gold perhaps is the most golden so far (does this make sense?) the first one to receive a double A score based on my charts ;) Although only disappointment awaits as I have to separate myself from them, it has been pleasure knowing them though. Thank you:)
I'll stop here. My 紧张 roomie has hit the hay. I feel like doing so as well, but I am afraid that I still need to clear up my finer points. See you in Jakarta!
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS (Post Jakarta edit) I forgot to mention that through my four and a half months there I discovered how sometimes depressing it is to be an Indonesian (at the present day). Apart from the fact that we lie southern from Singapore, somewhere in South East Asia, most foreigners know little about us. Neither are the Chinese interested in learning Bahasa Indonesia (a stark contrast from popular languages such as Japanese, Korean, French, Spanish, and of course English). It is high time for us to develop the long awaited and much needed soft power.
It's impossible for this single post to cover the my 4 1/2 months of journey here, but I'll give it a go nonetheless. Let us begin with statistics to offer the ending. Over the period of time, I made numerous friends and acquaintances: a large number of Indonesians, a few Chinese, and some internationals. They are mostly from my class, but the spread is amazing, ranging from Switzerland to Kazakhstan.
These people are responsible for bringing me to a bar for a first time. I ordered an Irish Coffee, thinking that it would be a big cup of coffee with diluted, weak alcohol. Instead, it came out to be a small cup of concentrated liquor with a shot of espresso - I barely drank half of it. It was that evening too I had my first taste of cigarette: It is no different from swallowing a bunch of needles. The initial sip sucks as well, but the aftertaste gets a little interesting. Apparently they come in different flavors.
My bigger aim is definitely to learn mandarin, and although I feel that I still have a long way to go, it's not too bad now;) I am fortunate enough to have quite a few guardian angels looking after me, ample opportunities to shop and taste fantastic food, and to visit new places. There are definitely breathtaking sites, be it nature-related or history-related ones. I learnt quite a few lessons about living in Beijing as well, let me share some:
1. There are dumb ways to die in Beijing. Like seriously. Buy a life insurance before coming here.
2. A surgical mask is always handy to have in Beijing. We don't need to discuss about the amazing levels of pollution, it will protect your poor nose from crowded subways in the Summer or the fantastic restrooms here.
3. When crossing Beijing roads, never trust the traffic lights. Trust your surroundings, trust the speed of the car across the road or the one coming to you. To make it more convenient, look for seasoned locals with reasonable walking speed and just copy their exact move.
Having said such, I discover that Beijingers are often very nice, warm, and reasonable people (except when they try to sell stuff). So don't hesitate to stop by and ask a stranger any questions. They are exceptionally good at directions as well. Just mention that you are a 老外 and they will pardon you of whatever you lack, especially the lack of "er"s in your Mandarin. Hahahaha.
Moving on, my language partner also told me some stories about how the game is played by students seeking to enroll in universities, of how it is perfectly acceptable and reasonable for students to pay to receive a recommendation letter from the professors working in the institutions of their dreams.
Looking at the general picture, I discovered that Chinese ideals and cultures do exist. They are a bunch of nationalistic and patriotic people, but they are pragmatic at the same time. Exceedingly practical until it bleeds sometimes. Babies with holes in their pants. Urinals without covers. Generation gap exists, as in everywhere. Virtue and Confucianism still pretty much intact, but there are apparent conflicts with today's materialism and sheer pragmatism. (well, isn't this pretty much happening everywhere these days? haha)
I must profess, there are still some businesses undone, some things unsearched. I guess it was simply not the time yet, I shall grow and focus into the state of being before I can reach that point and meet these particular people. Whatever I did, are doing, or will do to arrive there were, are, or will be rendered useless, but nonetheless, I will keep doing it anyway, until I can stop doing and start being. And only then will everything be paid off.
I also learnt, through the hard way, the necessity to differentiate between gold and worthless alloys. I spent a good four and a half months chasing what I thought to be gold, feeling down, stressed, emotional, and all the unnecessary stuffs and sacrifices, only to discover the gold to be a worthless alloy. Only to discover the metal to be lackluster in comparison to the gold I discovered a few days before my last day here. The gold perhaps is the most golden so far (does this make sense?) the first one to receive a double A score based on my charts ;) Although only disappointment awaits as I have to separate myself from them, it has been pleasure knowing them though. Thank you:)
I'll stop here. My 紧张 roomie has hit the hay. I feel like doing so as well, but I am afraid that I still need to clear up my finer points. See you in Jakarta!
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS (Post Jakarta edit) I forgot to mention that through my four and a half months there I discovered how sometimes depressing it is to be an Indonesian (at the present day). Apart from the fact that we lie southern from Singapore, somewhere in South East Asia, most foreigners know little about us. Neither are the Chinese interested in learning Bahasa Indonesia (a stark contrast from popular languages such as Japanese, Korean, French, Spanish, and of course English). It is high time for us to develop the long awaited and much needed soft power.
Friday, 5 July 2013
of Crossroads and Intersections.
I really no idea what should I put on the title, but I need to sleep soon to catch my 黑车 to 龙井峡 tomorrow morning so I'll just start with the body first. hehe.
I would begin by being a tad whiny by saying that if life had a reset button, I've pressed it (and will press it) so many times. If people regard life as a journey, then you meet people at the crossroads as you get from one road to another. My time here seems as such; very fleeting, the kind of Beijing's summer rain which will suddenly cease with little warning.
Fortunately, when the button is pressed, not all is lost.
Although Beijing is just another crossroad, a rather short one, which didn't take much effort to cross, I need to say that I bumped into amazing people there. We were walking in opposite directions, and we had little time before the green man light starts blinking and turns into a red man. With a heavy heart we must carry on walking, shouting and crying our goodbyes, until we reach the road where we are meant to be.
A step out of the crossroad is a reset button pressed. I shall cross another road to resume my journey, and I will bump into others. Our roads may intersect again someday, we might be passing by the same crossroads, if we are lucky. During the time in between, although we may be out of touch with one another, and although the winds and the dirt of the roads change us as we walk, I pray that when our paths do cross again, we will still be good friends, as when we met each other for the first time. I pray that we will never forget our first dream!
Thank you for the amazing conversation today. The two of you have changed me in your own ways. The two of you are the first people I shared about the inner circle I aspire to live in. Kindly remember the three questions I asked today, and I hope as you continue walking, you will arrive at the answers. This post is dedicated to you, my beloved seksi pendidikan people. Anumodana! :,)
till we meet again'
Truly Indonesia's Finest
I would begin by being a tad whiny by saying that if life had a reset button, I've pressed it (and will press it) so many times. If people regard life as a journey, then you meet people at the crossroads as you get from one road to another. My time here seems as such; very fleeting, the kind of Beijing's summer rain which will suddenly cease with little warning.
Fortunately, when the button is pressed, not all is lost.
Although Beijing is just another crossroad, a rather short one, which didn't take much effort to cross, I need to say that I bumped into amazing people there. We were walking in opposite directions, and we had little time before the green man light starts blinking and turns into a red man. With a heavy heart we must carry on walking, shouting and crying our goodbyes, until we reach the road where we are meant to be.
A step out of the crossroad is a reset button pressed. I shall cross another road to resume my journey, and I will bump into others. Our roads may intersect again someday, we might be passing by the same crossroads, if we are lucky. During the time in between, although we may be out of touch with one another, and although the winds and the dirt of the roads change us as we walk, I pray that when our paths do cross again, we will still be good friends, as when we met each other for the first time. I pray that we will never forget our first dream!
Thank you for the amazing conversation today. The two of you have changed me in your own ways. The two of you are the first people I shared about the inner circle I aspire to live in. Kindly remember the three questions I asked today, and I hope as you continue walking, you will arrive at the answers. This post is dedicated to you, my beloved seksi pendidikan people. Anumodana! :,)
till we meet again'
Truly Indonesia's Finest
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Cuisine
I really have no idea why I waited so late before I posted this, but I guess this only proves the power of procrastination: I am having a mandarin exam tomorrow, and (I) don't feel like reviewing my notes at all. I have encountered numerous contents I should be blogging about throughout my journey here, but I put it off, until I need to put off even a bigger issue (read: exam) hehe. Since it has been a while since I wrote in proper English, I shall begin my essay in a GP manner.
Due to the advent of globalization, I have came across numerous cuisines since I was born. In Jakarta, as in every big city around the world, you can always come across different cuisines: You name it, we have it. Since the beginning, my impression towards Japanese cuisine has always been a good one: Japanese food is resonant with top-notch ingredients, palatable tastes, and health benefits. I have been to Japan twice thus far, and as I grew up I believed that I 'knew' real Japanese cuisine.
Ironically, only when I am living in China, a country ample with equally renowned feasts and thousands of years of history, tradition, and culture attached to them (think of 八大菜系), did I discover what a genuine Japanese cuisine really was.
A genuine Japanese dish is gentle. Only natural ingredients are used, with neither lavish nor sharp-tasting spices. A genuine Japanese dish is polite, it is unobtrusive to the person who eats it. After being bombarded with Chinese, Indonesian, and Singaporean dishes that employ extravagant flavors and aromas, a calm, polite, and refreshing fragrance from this particular Japanese dish is a godsend. Having said thus, a genuine Japanese dish is far from being plain or boring. Employing the subtlest flavors and the deceivingly simple designs, this particular Japanese dish turns out to be very beautiful and charming; A single taste was more than enough to make one fall for her.
I am blessed to have such a privilege to come across the Japanese dish. Deep within, I have yet to be satisfied in enjoying her; I need to take my leave soon and begin my university life in the States. But I am exceedingly grateful, for I am privileged, I am very fortunate, I am very blessed to receive such an opportunity. I look forward to encounter a genuine Japanese dish in the future!
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS: （说到底，人家整个一个不清楚为什么某人把一个密码放了在TA的文章。反正人家管不着TA的事儿，人家只希望TA没事儿，天天幸福与愉快！）
Due to the advent of globalization, I have came across numerous cuisines since I was born. In Jakarta, as in every big city around the world, you can always come across different cuisines: You name it, we have it. Since the beginning, my impression towards Japanese cuisine has always been a good one: Japanese food is resonant with top-notch ingredients, palatable tastes, and health benefits. I have been to Japan twice thus far, and as I grew up I believed that I 'knew' real Japanese cuisine.
Ironically, only when I am living in China, a country ample with equally renowned feasts and thousands of years of history, tradition, and culture attached to them (think of 八大菜系), did I discover what a genuine Japanese cuisine really was.
A genuine Japanese dish is gentle. Only natural ingredients are used, with neither lavish nor sharp-tasting spices. A genuine Japanese dish is polite, it is unobtrusive to the person who eats it. After being bombarded with Chinese, Indonesian, and Singaporean dishes that employ extravagant flavors and aromas, a calm, polite, and refreshing fragrance from this particular Japanese dish is a godsend. Having said thus, a genuine Japanese dish is far from being plain or boring. Employing the subtlest flavors and the deceivingly simple designs, this particular Japanese dish turns out to be very beautiful and charming; A single taste was more than enough to make one fall for her.
I am blessed to have such a privilege to come across the Japanese dish. Deep within, I have yet to be satisfied in enjoying her; I need to take my leave soon and begin my university life in the States. But I am exceedingly grateful, for I am privileged, I am very fortunate, I am very blessed to receive such an opportunity. I look forward to encounter a genuine Japanese dish in the future!
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS: （说到底，人家整个一个不清楚为什么某人把一个密码放了在TA的文章。反正人家管不着TA的事儿，人家只希望TA没事儿，天天幸福与愉快！）
Saturday, 4 May 2013
The So Called Middle Country
Whew, truly been a while since I wrote here.
As I am writing now, I have spent my good half of "studying" period (more like a holiday period though) in Beijing, China, where I study Mandarin. Notice my English grammar going awry? Yep, apparently they say men have less capacity in linguistic knowledge.
Anyway, just to update myself briefly (as a future timeline) I would like to note that it has been very good here. I visit a lot of places, earned new friends, eaten plenty of food, and spoke plenty of Chinese. I do wish to sit down one on one with a genuine Chinese to exchange opinions on philosophy and politics though, but I have yet to be able to find one, and I think doing so might get me into trouble.. or not. hehe. Perhaps after the Shandong trip I shall set aside some time.
Another thing worth mentioning would be the interesting Buddhist Youth Circle that I am participating in; This is the first time (well technically) I have enjoyed such an amazing group Buddhist devotion with fellow Indonesian youths. As my roommate pointed out, to find such a group with mutually agreeing and supporting beliefs is amazing; finally I get to attend proper Dhamma discussions and figured out Buddhist jokes (wow!).
Sad to say though, a good number of them are barely two three feet deep. It's alright I guess, as life passes we dig deeper. At least I have found my starting point, and I know which direction to work upon. Then again, I am not a Buddhist, strictly speaking, thence I don't think I shall commit too deeply anyways. I must credit them, however, for making me think, for making me learn more about organization, relationships, fundamental concepts, truth, and to otherworldly topics such as hypnotism.
Are you still there after all my rambling? good! Haha.
可以说，这几个月我度过了一段美好的时光。我感觉很开心，不过说实话有点儿担心。因为在北京的时间不那么长，害怕很想念这个地方和这几位朋友。谢谢你们！我应该趁这些机会跟他们度过时光，更深了解他们。。
sorry, just had to practice my Chinese. haha:) I've no idea if my grammar and usage is correct though.
Cheers,
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
(p.s. 我还没找着那位中国现在的领导和公主。。没事儿吧）
As I am writing now, I have spent my good half of "studying" period (more like a holiday period though) in Beijing, China, where I study Mandarin. Notice my English grammar going awry? Yep, apparently they say men have less capacity in linguistic knowledge.
Anyway, just to update myself briefly (as a future timeline) I would like to note that it has been very good here. I visit a lot of places, earned new friends, eaten plenty of food, and spoke plenty of Chinese. I do wish to sit down one on one with a genuine Chinese to exchange opinions on philosophy and politics though, but I have yet to be able to find one, and I think doing so might get me into trouble.. or not. hehe. Perhaps after the Shandong trip I shall set aside some time.
Another thing worth mentioning would be the interesting Buddhist Youth Circle that I am participating in; This is the first time (well technically) I have enjoyed such an amazing group Buddhist devotion with fellow Indonesian youths. As my roommate pointed out, to find such a group with mutually agreeing and supporting beliefs is amazing; finally I get to attend proper Dhamma discussions and figured out Buddhist jokes (wow!).
Sad to say though, a good number of them are barely two three feet deep. It's alright I guess, as life passes we dig deeper. At least I have found my starting point, and I know which direction to work upon. Then again, I am not a Buddhist, strictly speaking, thence I don't think I shall commit too deeply anyways. I must credit them, however, for making me think, for making me learn more about organization, relationships, fundamental concepts, truth, and to otherworldly topics such as hypnotism.
Are you still there after all my rambling? good! Haha.
可以说，这几个月我度过了一段美好的时光。我感觉很开心，不过说实话有点儿担心。因为在北京的时间不那么长，害怕很想念这个地方和这几位朋友。谢谢你们！我应该趁这些机会跟他们度过时光，更深了解他们。。
sorry, just had to practice my Chinese. haha:) I've no idea if my grammar and usage is correct though.
Cheers,
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
(p.s. 我还没找着那位中国现在的领导和公主。。没事儿吧）
Monday, 18 February 2013
Of Contradictions
What would you do if you have some questions that no one can seem to answer satisfactorily?
I believe that last time we had a lot of those. Slowly, little by little, we learn to ignore the questioning mind, to stop asking why, and force ourselves to accept things at face value. We settle for less. These questions we have asked will slowly be buried by grains of time, emotions, and memories.
Is ignorance truly bliss? Is it best to keep our inquisitive ego dull? What should we question, what shouldn't? When should we? Where do we stand? Where should we stand? I am starting to believe that, among everything else, we live in a world of contradictions. At times, we should learn to have faith, to simply sit down and accept things the way they are. At other times, we need to explore, dig deeper, question, instigate, provoke, and challenge the status quo.
We need wisdom to tell the difference, so you say, but is wisdom truly something we gain from experience? Memory is unreliable, it contains our altered version of the past, and distorting it is easier than using Photoshop to alter a picture. So our reflections, our aspirations, and our so called 'wisdom' are naught.
And yet, the wisdom should not lie in the brains, it should lie in the heart. You feel the wisdom, you don't think about it. How do you learn to feel? It is akin to asking a fish how it learned to swim, or asking a human how he learned to breathe. Trial and error? How do you differentiate between emotions and feelings? Where does the wisdom to tell the difference came from? Are you thinking, are you talking to yourself, or is there something inside you that is manipulating you?
Is emptiness desirable? Let go, or so they say. But inside emptiness, there is naught. What should we truly do? What is the meaning of life? If you persistently ask questions after questions, you will realize that these questions either require a degree of faith or form an infinite cycle of questions. Again, the trick here is to feel the answer. To have the wisdom and the courage to grasp the answer through intuition, and move on despite not fully understanding it. I believe that one can feel their way through, and although initially it may feel like a blind man feeling his way through a darkened corridor, everything will soon brighten up.
Only then can one see the true meaning of life.
-TrulyIndonesia'sFinest.
PS: sorry for rambling :P you get the idea.
Saturday, 2 February 2013
Chasm
I have been told that when there are 9 lunatics and 1 wise man, the wise man is the lunatic and the remaining 9 are wise men, or so I've heard. It was definitely an interesting encounter, with some gods, with some people above the clouds. The younger ones, he, she, they, called themselves 'manusia setengah gila' (lit. half-crazy humans'. I get where they were coming from. In order to function properly as a human being, there are some things that we must never know, and there are some things that we must never be able to do. So, are you still as humane when these limiters are circumvented?
Their first question to me was: "Why do other people call you crazy?"
Well, I won't tell you why ;) but to be frank, there is a chasm between the two worlds. I am facing a situation where I feel that a leap of faith is necessary, but my greedy ego wishes to retain both worlds. Having heard their stories unfolded, I felt that I wasn't "there" yet; I wasn't "crazy enough". No, being a god does not have anything to do with being crazy. I wasn't talking about being a god myself anyway.
Anyhow, I am curious - it seems that the huffs, puffs, and smokes of cigarettes have something to do with getting closer to enlightenment. Does it bring godly qualities? Do gods smoke up there in heaven? hahaha.
Yes, I am prepared to be damned a lunatic, to be praised as crazy, after you read this post :) welcome to my world. As I have heard, perhaps, our realities just differ, and of course, I am not planning to make you cross this reality rift. Let it be, let it flow. You might end up in the same place as I am too someday ;)
What I know now, what I am very certain of, is that I am no longer my old self.
-trulyIndonesia'sfinest
Their first question to me was: "Why do other people call you crazy?"
Well, I won't tell you why ;) but to be frank, there is a chasm between the two worlds. I am facing a situation where I feel that a leap of faith is necessary, but my greedy ego wishes to retain both worlds. Having heard their stories unfolded, I felt that I wasn't "there" yet; I wasn't "crazy enough". No, being a god does not have anything to do with being crazy. I wasn't talking about being a god myself anyway.
Anyhow, I am curious - it seems that the huffs, puffs, and smokes of cigarettes have something to do with getting closer to enlightenment. Does it bring godly qualities? Do gods smoke up there in heaven? hahaha.
Yes, I am prepared to be damned a lunatic, to be praised as crazy, after you read this post :) welcome to my world. As I have heard, perhaps, our realities just differ, and of course, I am not planning to make you cross this reality rift. Let it be, let it flow. You might end up in the same place as I am too someday ;)
What I know now, what I am very certain of, is that I am no longer my old self.
-trulyIndonesia'sfinest
Thursday, 31 January 2013
The Island of Devas
Wow, how time flies. It is the end of January, and I have not updated my blog since last month (last year, thus I could say that I haven't updated my blog for a year haha)
Since this is just an impulsive post as I try to distract myself from revising my mandarin (an escape route to my new routine) I'll keep it short and sweet:) Well, life here is, how should I put it, very fruitful. Of course, it is a totally different from the Singapore school-cum-boarding environment I am used to, but I feel that I am accomplishing a lot of things here too.
Well, let's jump a bit and talk about something more interesting. Java is also known as (well Bali is actually) "Pulau Dewata" (lit. the Island of Devas). I have to admit that most people in Indonesia are far from deserving to be labeled as such heavenly entities. However, I sincerely believe that we are not called the Island of Devas for nothing. There are certain Devas living among us, the gods, or Gods, if you prefer. I like to call them humankind, but they are a level above humankinds, living in the midst of humans. The writers of the grand narrative, the untold story.
I know I should harbor no expectations, but perhaps this Saturday, I might get a chance to witness the assembly of gods, or Gods, if you prefer.
Will tell you more about it.
-theIndonesia'sFinest
Since this is just an impulsive post as I try to distract myself from revising my mandarin (an escape route to my new routine) I'll keep it short and sweet:) Well, life here is, how should I put it, very fruitful. Of course, it is a totally different from the Singapore school-cum-boarding environment I am used to, but I feel that I am accomplishing a lot of things here too.
Well, let's jump a bit and talk about something more interesting. Java is also known as (well Bali is actually) "Pulau Dewata" (lit. the Island of Devas). I have to admit that most people in Indonesia are far from deserving to be labeled as such heavenly entities. However, I sincerely believe that we are not called the Island of Devas for nothing. There are certain Devas living among us, the gods, or Gods, if you prefer. I like to call them humankind, but they are a level above humankinds, living in the midst of humans. The writers of the grand narrative, the untold story.
I know I should harbor no expectations, but perhaps this Saturday, I might get a chance to witness the assembly of gods, or Gods, if you prefer.
Will tell you more about it.
-theIndonesia'sFinest
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