I think I know what's going on!
I think I figured it out.
It's a literal example of trying to fix the movie by yanking the screen.
It won't work! Change has to come from within. I have to first change my thoughts, feelings, and attitudes first, and only then my reality would change.
I have choices. I could focus on the negativity that has happened, or I could focus on all the good things that has happened. I could reliving the past, or I can actually stop doing that, live in the moment, and not expect anything for the future. I can be free! I can be free from my past tormentor. I have the power to create my own reality. I have the power to stop trying to fix the movie by yanking the screen - because I am the director of the movie. I am in full control, I am in full power! I cannot affect other people's movies. Those are theirs. But I can stop giving a damn about them, and just make sure that I enjoy MINE as much as possible! Thankyouverymuch! :)
R
Saturday, 25 November 2017
Wednesday, 15 November 2017
Recovery
Hi everyone,
It has been a while :) Yes, I have been busy-busy-busy. A bit lame, though, as it is no different than being a driver who speeds up despite running out of fuel because he doesn't have the time to fill up the gas tank.
The gas tank went to "E", indeed, and I did catch a cold/sore throat/fever combo. While I felt miserable when it first hit, I realized that this unwellness is actually a blessing in disguise. My belief states that something won't happen if it is not meant to happen, it won't happen! In other words, if my higher self wills it, only then it can happen. Hence, why this experience of unwellness?
I feel that it's firstly and foremost a manifestation of negative emotions. These days I become more aware of the strength of emotions in creating and manifesting my reality, and in the past weekend I was battling a lack of love. It secondly is also a manifestation of the lack of appreciation toward rest and downtime - I have been trying to live a hyperproductive life since my graduation, that I feel guilty resting and doing nothing. However, thirdly and more importantly, it turns out that there are wonderful things I learned after being inflicted by this unwellness.
This unwellness made me realize how caring, kind, and flexible my coworkers are. I have people offering me medicine, food, or just checking in with me in general. The senior analyst in my team allowed me to leave early if I wanted to, and the associate in my team even called me first thing in the morning, just to check in how I was feeling! I am really grateful to be working with such a kind, caring, and flexible group of people.
When you have sore throat, you intuitively look for things that can cool down your throat. To my surprise, the pear I stole from my office's cafe did the job really well! It makes me even more grateful for the abundance of free food in the office. I also learned that I am still able to do my job really well, despite not being at my 100%. I am still very productive and able to stay focused, which I am really grateful for. More importantly, this unwellness actually propelled me to do things that I would not normally do! The soul needs creative expression, and hence it definitely took delight in me exploring soupy food options (ended up getting this cheap but delicious bowl of pho, which gave me a lot of energy), and googling about sore throat actually compelled me to buy ice cream. I ended up trying Halo Top's vanilla bean flavor! Can't believe that there are so few calories in it, but are really tasty - definitely helped soothe my throat a lot. :) In the process of going to Whole Foods to get the ice cream, I stumbled into a bunch of restaurants that I've always wanted to try - Johnny Rockets (fine, I've definitely tried it before), Lenwich, Hale and Hearty Soup, and the list goes on and on. Panda Express has been my go to, not because I particularly find the dishes there mind-blowing, but because it is convenient, fast, and cheap.
I have forgotten the joys of exploring restaurants, in my attempt to live my life in turbo and in my attempt to save money. It's totally fine to splurge occasionally, and treat yourself! I forget the joy and the wonder of eating by yourself in a new restaurant, just to sit down and chill, while genuinely enjoying good food and your own company. This experience actually reminded me, rekindled the adventurous spirit of mine! It also highlights the beauty of living in New York, Midtown Manhattan to be specific, where all flavors and cuisines are available at your fingertips. It doesn't hurt that I'm getting paid well too! :)
Having said all that, I am the most grateful for this particular lady friend, who actually showed 100% kindness, patience, caring, and compassion when I was unwell. She came to visit me in my apartment, and brought me porridge, medicine, and her mom's baked treats! She gave me kisses and hugs, despite me telling her not to. She texted me before I go to bed, and when I wake up, just to make sure that I am feeling better. It is such a luxury to have such a goddess take care of me. I am really grateful that she chose to come over to take care of me, even though her parents just came to the city to visit her. Despite the cold weather, the fatigue after work, and the stairs leading into my apartment that she has to climb. Thank you :) I am grateful, always!!
It is impressive how the universe and my higher self uses a multitude of ways to allow me to discover deeper things about my life and this world. Here's to always looking at the bright side :D
-R
It has been a while :) Yes, I have been busy-busy-busy. A bit lame, though, as it is no different than being a driver who speeds up despite running out of fuel because he doesn't have the time to fill up the gas tank.
The gas tank went to "E", indeed, and I did catch a cold/sore throat/fever combo. While I felt miserable when it first hit, I realized that this unwellness is actually a blessing in disguise. My belief states that something won't happen if it is not meant to happen, it won't happen! In other words, if my higher self wills it, only then it can happen. Hence, why this experience of unwellness?
I feel that it's firstly and foremost a manifestation of negative emotions. These days I become more aware of the strength of emotions in creating and manifesting my reality, and in the past weekend I was battling a lack of love. It secondly is also a manifestation of the lack of appreciation toward rest and downtime - I have been trying to live a hyperproductive life since my graduation, that I feel guilty resting and doing nothing. However, thirdly and more importantly, it turns out that there are wonderful things I learned after being inflicted by this unwellness.
This unwellness made me realize how caring, kind, and flexible my coworkers are. I have people offering me medicine, food, or just checking in with me in general. The senior analyst in my team allowed me to leave early if I wanted to, and the associate in my team even called me first thing in the morning, just to check in how I was feeling! I am really grateful to be working with such a kind, caring, and flexible group of people.
When you have sore throat, you intuitively look for things that can cool down your throat. To my surprise, the pear I stole from my office's cafe did the job really well! It makes me even more grateful for the abundance of free food in the office. I also learned that I am still able to do my job really well, despite not being at my 100%. I am still very productive and able to stay focused, which I am really grateful for. More importantly, this unwellness actually propelled me to do things that I would not normally do! The soul needs creative expression, and hence it definitely took delight in me exploring soupy food options (ended up getting this cheap but delicious bowl of pho, which gave me a lot of energy), and googling about sore throat actually compelled me to buy ice cream. I ended up trying Halo Top's vanilla bean flavor! Can't believe that there are so few calories in it, but are really tasty - definitely helped soothe my throat a lot. :) In the process of going to Whole Foods to get the ice cream, I stumbled into a bunch of restaurants that I've always wanted to try - Johnny Rockets (fine, I've definitely tried it before), Lenwich, Hale and Hearty Soup, and the list goes on and on. Panda Express has been my go to, not because I particularly find the dishes there mind-blowing, but because it is convenient, fast, and cheap.
I have forgotten the joys of exploring restaurants, in my attempt to live my life in turbo and in my attempt to save money. It's totally fine to splurge occasionally, and treat yourself! I forget the joy and the wonder of eating by yourself in a new restaurant, just to sit down and chill, while genuinely enjoying good food and your own company. This experience actually reminded me, rekindled the adventurous spirit of mine! It also highlights the beauty of living in New York, Midtown Manhattan to be specific, where all flavors and cuisines are available at your fingertips. It doesn't hurt that I'm getting paid well too! :)
Having said all that, I am the most grateful for this particular lady friend, who actually showed 100% kindness, patience, caring, and compassion when I was unwell. She came to visit me in my apartment, and brought me porridge, medicine, and her mom's baked treats! She gave me kisses and hugs, despite me telling her not to. She texted me before I go to bed, and when I wake up, just to make sure that I am feeling better. It is such a luxury to have such a goddess take care of me. I am really grateful that she chose to come over to take care of me, even though her parents just came to the city to visit her. Despite the cold weather, the fatigue after work, and the stairs leading into my apartment that she has to climb. Thank you :) I am grateful, always!!
It is impressive how the universe and my higher self uses a multitude of ways to allow me to discover deeper things about my life and this world. Here's to always looking at the bright side :D
-R
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