Of Contradictions

What would you do if you have some questions that no one can seem to answer satisfactorily?

I believe that last time we had a lot of those. Slowly, little by little, we learn to ignore the questioning mind, to stop asking why, and force ourselves to accept things at face value. We settle for less. These questions we have asked will slowly be buried by grains of time, emotions, and memories.

Is ignorance truly bliss? Is it best to keep our inquisitive ego dull? What should we question, what shouldn't? When should we? Where do we stand? Where should we stand? I am starting to believe that, among everything else, we live in a world of contradictions. At times, we should learn to have faith, to simply sit down and accept things the way they are. At other times, we need to explore, dig deeper, question, instigate, provoke, and challenge the status quo.

We need wisdom to tell the difference, so you say, but is wisdom truly something we gain from experience? Memory is unreliable, it contains our altered version of the past, and distorting it is easier than using Photoshop to alter a picture. So our reflections, our aspirations, and our so called 'wisdom' are naught.

And yet, the wisdom should not lie in the brains, it should lie in the heart. You feel the wisdom, you don't think about it. How do you learn to feel? It is akin to asking a fish how it learned to swim, or asking a human how he learned to breathe. Trial and error? How do you differentiate between emotions and feelings? Where does the wisdom to tell the difference came from? Are you thinking, are you talking to yourself, or is there something inside you that is manipulating you?

Is emptiness desirable? Let go, or so they say. But inside emptiness, there is naught. What should we truly do? What is the meaning of life? If you persistently ask questions after questions, you will realize that these questions either require a degree of faith or form an infinite cycle of questions. Again, the trick here is to feel the answer. To have the wisdom and the courage to grasp the answer through intuition, and move on despite not fully understanding it. I believe that one can feel their way through, and although initially it may feel like a blind man feeling his way through a darkened corridor, everything will soon brighten up.

Only then can one see the true meaning of life.

-TrulyIndonesia'sFinest.

PS: sorry for rambling :P you get the idea.

Chasm

I have been told that when there are 9 lunatics and 1 wise man, the wise man is the lunatic and the remaining 9 are wise men, or so I've heard. It was definitely an interesting encounter, with some gods, with some people above the clouds. The younger ones, he, she, they, called themselves 'manusia setengah gila' (lit. half-crazy humans'. I get where they were coming from. In order to function properly as a human being, there are some things that we must never know, and there are some things that we must never be able to do. So, are you still as humane when these limiters are circumvented?

Their first question to me was: "Why do other people call you crazy?"

Well, I won't tell you why ;) but to be frank, there is a chasm between the two worlds. I am facing a situation  where I feel that a leap of faith is necessary, but my greedy ego wishes to retain both worlds. Having heard their stories unfolded, I felt that I wasn't "there" yet; I wasn't "crazy enough". No, being a god does not have anything to do with being crazy. I wasn't talking about being a god myself anyway.

Anyhow, I am curious - it seems that the huffs, puffs, and smokes of cigarettes have something to do with getting closer to enlightenment. Does it bring godly qualities? Do gods smoke up there in heaven? hahaha.

Yes, I am prepared to be damned a lunatic, to be praised as crazy, after you read this post :) welcome to my world. As I have heard, perhaps, our realities just differ, and of course, I am not planning to make you cross this reality rift. Let it be, let it flow. You might end up in the same place as I am too someday ;)

What I know now, what I am very certain of, is that I am no longer my old self.

-trulyIndonesia'sfinest