Hello there:)
I'll be on and off internet in the near future (or have been) and well, I write on my iPod (if I feel like it) on the occasion. These writings are to be christened the iPod diaries, and hope you like the little snippets of the promise of adventure they bring!
Happy holidays!
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The iPod diaries:)
Bandung (Sierra cafe, 19 dec 2012)
Haha. Time flows slowly but surely in bandung, with my friends immersed in lewd jokes, smokes, and laughters. Lol. This is my second and my last night, and the cool breeze and the scenery here is worth dying for. Hehe. I have just received my ea decision this morning, and all I can say is that I am very very grateful to see the news. Hehe. Why? Well, they say, there is a price for everything. I am so grateful because my application is reconsidered, and now I have the motivation to re do my applications, affording me more choices:) hey this is to the me who has doubted, wait till you see this writing again in the future. You'll laugh like mad. Well, the price I am paying now is the price of my sloth(lol) as I procrastinated on my apps:) oh well, I'll chiong when I go back hehe.
It's a good life here. Hehe. So relaxed, we take everything so slowly. There's no rush as we ate our way through hanamasa just now, and drink our way through Sierra (with bandung skyline as a background screensaver) candles warming our hearts and more importantly, a sense of comradeship. I wonder if I can stop time.
Sent from my iPod
---
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Friday, 14 December 2012
Indonesia
Erm, I really have to apologize for not updating my blog for a looooong time. LOL
Really, I wasn't particularly busy doing anything important. I was simply playing, playing and playing. Not women, (I don't!) but rather, computer games. So, you'd ask me next, is your life there boring? Certainly not. I've had my fair share of shock and astonishing news (in the positive light, thankfully. Haha) Am I missing Singapore now? Perhaps. And yeah, in all honesty, I have lots of things to do, replying people and thanking them, completing my applications, essays, etc, but I'm just putting them off. Until when? God knows. Hehehe.
So, here's wishing all of you a great day ahead! For those who are still working hard, carry on! For those who are resting, it is a rest well-deserved! And, all the best for my comrades who are entering Uni next year! Hope we all get what we need, and if we are blessed, what we want as well.
Ciao!
The Indonesia's Finest.
Saturday, 24 November 2012
Makan
Right. (nothing's wrong :D)
Here I am in a Saturday evening, sitting down in front of my laptop trying to procrastinate doing work after having a wonderful meal-cum-shopping session at J8 :)
Well, I have two more MCQ papers ahead of me, a few more application essays to write, a deadline, a project, and tons of memories. I felt the strain as I did some practice questions just now. And yet, I got out, walked slowly, shopped, and stared at the sky, and I felt good again. It was orangey glum in colour, cuddled with the fluffy clouds. Allow me to shift the blame to the hectic pace of life in Singapore, but it only dawned on me just now that I will be going back to Indonesia for good in around two weeks time. And, contrary to popular beliefs, I think I might just miss this place.
There is no room for nostalgia as time never stops. Vain are those who romanticize the past.
But allow me to be grateful for the wonderful memories I have here, in Singapore. Okay, this is not a post where I'll be musing about my past four years, but I'll at least recollect some about food. I'd dare say, some of the food here I'll never be able to get elsewhere around the world. Even if the same chef made it using the same ingredients, the food won't have the same 'feel' due to the difference in the ambiance.
I'll forever honour the curry puffs at the mushroom cafe I chew upon while walking down the trail, and the pork chop at the Aston's at Marymount Road which was the coup de grace for my low carb diet. I'll remember the first time I ate my forever favourite Korean Ramyeon at Toa Payoh's Koufu, and also my best friend SJI's (and of course, RI's) Chinese Mix Rice. Well, I think I should try the rumoured Santoka's ramen and also patronize Prata House, Zam-zam, and the TianJin Dumplings at Chinatown.. Yum. I'll miss Koi dearly too, and the best cantaloupe ice-cream near in the Allocasia apartments (Estivo Gelateria).
I think I shall stop listing here :) If you know me personally, feel free to ask me about these places' whereabouts :) I might go there with you. Or even better, tell me of a better place I've never heard of.
Yup, so I have a few more days to finish the unfinished business, to say my thankyous and goodbyes, and to put an end to what I have started. I hope I manage to clear them all; in the end if I can't, it's alright.. I guess. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so I look forward to living these few days fully :)
Best,
The Indonesia's Finest.
Here I am in a Saturday evening, sitting down in front of my laptop trying to procrastinate doing work after having a wonderful meal-cum-shopping session at J8 :)
Well, I have two more MCQ papers ahead of me, a few more application essays to write, a deadline, a project, and tons of memories. I felt the strain as I did some practice questions just now. And yet, I got out, walked slowly, shopped, and stared at the sky, and I felt good again. It was orangey glum in colour, cuddled with the fluffy clouds. Allow me to shift the blame to the hectic pace of life in Singapore, but it only dawned on me just now that I will be going back to Indonesia for good in around two weeks time. And, contrary to popular beliefs, I think I might just miss this place.
There is no room for nostalgia as time never stops. Vain are those who romanticize the past.
But allow me to be grateful for the wonderful memories I have here, in Singapore. Okay, this is not a post where I'll be musing about my past four years, but I'll at least recollect some about food. I'd dare say, some of the food here I'll never be able to get elsewhere around the world. Even if the same chef made it using the same ingredients, the food won't have the same 'feel' due to the difference in the ambiance.
I'll forever honour the curry puffs at the mushroom cafe I chew upon while walking down the trail, and the pork chop at the Aston's at Marymount Road which was the coup de grace for my low carb diet. I'll remember the first time I ate my forever favourite Korean Ramyeon at Toa Payoh's Koufu, and also my best friend SJI's (and of course, RI's) Chinese Mix Rice. Well, I think I should try the rumoured Santoka's ramen and also patronize Prata House, Zam-zam, and the TianJin Dumplings at Chinatown.. Yum. I'll miss Koi dearly too, and the best cantaloupe ice-cream near in the Allocasia apartments (Estivo Gelateria).
I think I shall stop listing here :) If you know me personally, feel free to ask me about these places' whereabouts :) I might go there with you. Or even better, tell me of a better place I've never heard of.
Yup, so I have a few more days to finish the unfinished business, to say my thankyous and goodbyes, and to put an end to what I have started. I hope I manage to clear them all; in the end if I can't, it's alright.. I guess. Life is meant to be enjoyed, so I look forward to living these few days fully :)
Best,
The Indonesia's Finest.
Saturday, 17 November 2012
Revelation
I received some rather insightful notions when I was meditating last night. I have to admit that I would be confined by my linguistic barriers in trying to describe the meditations, but I shall attempt to do so nevertheless as it might prove quite insightful.
Now, let's start.
In life, there is nothing you have to do. There is nothing you have to fulfill, there is no heaven you have to strive for, neither there is any hell or eternal condemnations you have to avoid. You just have to be. To re-create yourself. To remember your true nature. All of us are essentially, divine. Our thoughts, words, and actions are the best at any moment under any circumstances, given the conditions and the world views we are looking through.
So now you ask, what do I have to be? Who am I? Who do I have to realize? The answer is, I don't know myself. It is something you have to figure out on your own. When you are watching a thriller premiere halfway, you won't appreciate it if the person next to you spoils the ending right?
Now, what I understand is that we re-create ourselves every single moment. Through what we think, what we say, and what we do. I personally have something that I am striving towards, I have a slight hint of what I would like to realize myself. So, I'd like to use this blog as a public pledge; a leverage some might say; or a reminder; that I would like to stick to be. Sometimes, or often, I forget. But from now on, I'll try my best to remind myself and consciously choose to act and manifest in accordance to that image.
To love. To choose love over fear. To respect, and to trust. Trusting that everything has been planned, that everything will fall into its place, trusting that it was meant to be, and trusting that everything will be wonderful in its time. It is sometimes, often, or always difficult to have such faith. Life will test you, and you have to shut the voice of fear inside your mind, and always return to listen to the language of love. You have a choice, the freedom, to choose fear over love. But it is akin to swimming upstream; you'll get tired real fast. Give into the current of love. Drown yourself in the sea of happiness and tranquility by choosing to have faith, every second of your lifetime.
So, I shall gladly surrender my sovereignty, and every second renewing my choice to love, from now unto the end of time. It is sometimes not easy, but the masters are the ones who chose love and stuck with it until their last drop of blood. Finally everything is pure, everything is sacred, everything is holy. And couldn't be that way without love. So help me, God.
Why so? "Karena Aku adalah terang, Aku adalah jalan, Aku adalah segala-galanya."*
Who am I? I am who I am. We are one, but we are many. We are different, but we are the same.
"Because you love Me so much, because you trust me so much, I will manifest the best, and only the best, for you." Thank You.. :)
---
*I am the light, I am the way, and I am everything.
---
*I am the light, I am the way, and I am everything.
Saturday, 20 October 2012
Proofs of Existence
Descartes once famously said, Cogito Ergo Sum. I think, therefore I exist.
I must firstly apologize though, I am really bored when I thought of this post. Nevertheless, I shall explore the limits of your existence.
Before we start, let's make an assumption:
Every individual on earth is distinct. Even identical twins are presumed to be distinct, and there is no chance that you would find another exact copy of you on another part of the world.
Now, let n be the number of distinct people in our mother earth. As time, t, progresses, n increases exponentially. The probability of being you (yes, you) is given by P = 1/n. Based on the estimation of the United States Census Bureau, there are 7.046 x 10^9 people on earth. (n = 7.046 x 10^9). Thus, as we know in maths, as n --> infinity, 1/n --> zero (because 7.046 x 10^9 >> 1). So, what are the conclusions that we can draw?
1. Probably you don't exist. (P --> 0)
2. As time t progresses, n increases exponentially, thus the value of P tends even closer to zero. In other words, as time progresses, the probability that you don't exist increases.
Thus, using numbers, I have just proved to you (okay I know that this is a fallacy), that in the grander scheme of things, you don't exist. Or at least your existence is negligible. And even getting less and less significant as time progresses. And so far you thought that you have existed.
So, what are you going to do? What difference are you going to make before the time further eats away your significance? What is the value of your negligible existence? This is the new philosophical thinking of motivation. :P
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
I must firstly apologize though, I am really bored when I thought of this post. Nevertheless, I shall explore the limits of your existence.
Before we start, let's make an assumption:
Every individual on earth is distinct. Even identical twins are presumed to be distinct, and there is no chance that you would find another exact copy of you on another part of the world.
Now, let n be the number of distinct people in our mother earth. As time, t, progresses, n increases exponentially. The probability of being you (yes, you) is given by P = 1/n. Based on the estimation of the United States Census Bureau, there are 7.046 x 10^9 people on earth. (n = 7.046 x 10^9). Thus, as we know in maths, as n --> infinity, 1/n --> zero (because 7.046 x 10^9 >> 1). So, what are the conclusions that we can draw?
1. Probably you don't exist. (P --> 0)
2. As time t progresses, n increases exponentially, thus the value of P tends even closer to zero. In other words, as time progresses, the probability that you don't exist increases.
Thus, using numbers, I have just proved to you (okay I know that this is a fallacy), that in the grander scheme of things, you don't exist. Or at least your existence is negligible. And even getting less and less significant as time progresses. And so far you thought that you have existed.
So, what are you going to do? What difference are you going to make before the time further eats away your significance? What is the value of your negligible existence? This is the new philosophical thinking of motivation. :P
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Monday, 24 September 2012
Shortie #5 - Maturity
Hi! Before you judge my mathematical ability, allow me to say that there is, indeed, a shortie #4, however, I decided against publishing it in the time being. Anyway, my first post from Indonesia after a while hehe :)
Talk to me a few years back, and you would find inside me a fiery passion about developing Indonesia. I know that my country is screwed up, and I have a lot of people telling me that. Feeling as if I was responsible for the state of my country, I swore to myself that I will break my bones and work hard to develop her.
Now, the wish remains intact, but to be brutally honest I am increasingly able to enjoy the fractures and loopholes in my beloved country. Hey, my country's ain't that great. But she's not a bad place to live in, and I love her so much.. Why does she need to progress rapidly? What's the rush? Let's just take it slow.. Anyway, what is bound to happen is going to happen anyway --- We can afford the luxury of time, arguably, unlike Singapore who needs to buck up and rapidly grow to maintain her sovereignty.
Now, now. Don't accuse me of falling into the typical Indonesian complacency. Let me offer you another way to look at it. If countries are sick people, Indonesia would probably be akin to someone suffering from stadium 4 cancer. Of course, it's not too bad --- The past decade has shown us how she got better. However, to treat such patients, we need to give weaker medicines first, mixing it with porridge. Afterwards, we slowly give her slightly stronger medicines, and once she is close to full recovery, only then should we give her the strongest medicine to eliminate the disease completely. If you give a dying person the strongest medicine, you'd simply kill the person. It's giving poison in the name of medicine.
So take it slow, Indonesia. I have faith in you.
Talk to me a few years back, and you would find inside me a fiery passion about developing Indonesia. I know that my country is screwed up, and I have a lot of people telling me that. Feeling as if I was responsible for the state of my country, I swore to myself that I will break my bones and work hard to develop her.
Now, the wish remains intact, but to be brutally honest I am increasingly able to enjoy the fractures and loopholes in my beloved country. Hey, my country's ain't that great. But she's not a bad place to live in, and I love her so much.. Why does she need to progress rapidly? What's the rush? Let's just take it slow.. Anyway, what is bound to happen is going to happen anyway --- We can afford the luxury of time, arguably, unlike Singapore who needs to buck up and rapidly grow to maintain her sovereignty.
Now, now. Don't accuse me of falling into the typical Indonesian complacency. Let me offer you another way to look at it. If countries are sick people, Indonesia would probably be akin to someone suffering from stadium 4 cancer. Of course, it's not too bad --- The past decade has shown us how she got better. However, to treat such patients, we need to give weaker medicines first, mixing it with porridge. Afterwards, we slowly give her slightly stronger medicines, and once she is close to full recovery, only then should we give her the strongest medicine to eliminate the disease completely. If you give a dying person the strongest medicine, you'd simply kill the person. It's giving poison in the name of medicine.
So take it slow, Indonesia. I have faith in you.
Monday, 10 September 2012
Shortie #3 - (Pen)Ultimate
"Whatever is going to happen tomorrow has happened yesterday. Whatever is going to happen in the next thousands of years has happened thousands of years before."
"A faith as tiny as a mustard seed can move mountains."
I need faith. That whatever is going to happen, has in fact happened.
Call me faithless, I am. But I won't give up for now. Not yet. For as long as I do not stop, there is still hope. Someday this vessel shall be inundated with immaculate faith.
But I'll give thanks today. As I have, in the past, and as I will, in the future.
So, bless me..
"A faith as tiny as a mustard seed can move mountains."
I need faith. That whatever is going to happen, has in fact happened.
Call me faithless, I am. But I won't give up for now. Not yet. For as long as I do not stop, there is still hope. Someday this vessel shall be inundated with immaculate faith.
But I'll give thanks today. As I have, in the past, and as I will, in the future.
So, bless me..
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Shortie #2 - Living
What does it mean to be alive?
In all honesty, it does not really matter how long have you been born. Truly matters is how long have you been alive. Love grows out of content, and fear culminates out of boredom. I can now fathom why bored teenagers contemplate suicide. Alas, truly a manifesto of the snowball effect.
If you're not feeling grateful and elated for every single breath you inhale, for every single step you take, then you are not alive yet.
It's alright. I understand what you are thinking. For most people, those who are 'alive' around ten per cent of their lives can be considered as happy as a saint already.
Knowing this, will you stop trying?
In all honesty, it does not really matter how long have you been born. Truly matters is how long have you been alive. Love grows out of content, and fear culminates out of boredom. I can now fathom why bored teenagers contemplate suicide. Alas, truly a manifesto of the snowball effect.
If you're not feeling grateful and elated for every single breath you inhale, for every single step you take, then you are not alive yet.
It's alright. I understand what you are thinking. For most people, those who are 'alive' around ten per cent of their lives can be considered as happy as a saint already.
Knowing this, will you stop trying?
Sunday, 2 September 2012
Shortie #1 - Relationships
Hi! These are a few of my attempts to write concisely, forgive me for sounding terse..
I read a book, and it said that (not verbatim) "You should not seek what you can get out of a relationship, rather you should seek what you can put into the relationship."
It said further that we are complete without other people, yet without other people we cannot manifest our completeness (ultimate paradox). Thus, you should not aim to seek completeness from another, you should aim to share your completeness with the other half.
Sounds like writing a blog, where you don't really care what others get out of it, instead you think if you enjoy writing it and savor all you can from doing so. No?
Because writing is one way; you don't really need to receive a direct response from another. No?
I'd say the world is, and the people are, (fortunately) more forgiving than we presume.
Catch my drift?
--Truly Indonesia's Finest
I read a book, and it said that (not verbatim) "You should not seek what you can get out of a relationship, rather you should seek what you can put into the relationship."
It said further that we are complete without other people, yet without other people we cannot manifest our completeness (ultimate paradox). Thus, you should not aim to seek completeness from another, you should aim to share your completeness with the other half.
Sounds like writing a blog, where you don't really care what others get out of it, instead you think if you enjoy writing it and savor all you can from doing so. No?
Because writing is one way; you don't really need to receive a direct response from another. No?
I'd say the world is, and the people are, (fortunately) more forgiving than we presume.
Catch my drift?
--Truly Indonesia's Finest
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Day 45 + i2 - Red Light, Green Light
Alright, challenge accepted.
The milkoracle proposed that 20 minutes or 4 and a half hours of writing the CommonApp US Essay would yield the same result, so here goes nothing!
---
I remembered a poignant conversation with my friend: "If you can start from above, why do you insist on starting below and working your way up? You'll die of exhaustion!"
We were talking about relationships, but his question really extended to other areas of my life. I come from a comfortable middle-class family in Indonesia and life has always been easy, but mediocre for me. I had little aptitude in the arts and sports, and an unfit physique. Only two features redeemed me: my slightly above intelligence, and my attitude. I don't mean to brag, but my life could have been considerably easier. I mean, I could always stay put and perform regularly in my studies, and lead a comfortable life in Indonesia, my beloved country.
Yet, my life has always been full of leaps. I moved to a much more competitive secondary school in Tangerang, Indonesia, and from there, leaped to out-of-the-world St Joseph's Institution in Singapore. Seemingly unsatisfied, with a lot of luck, I joined the famous Bishan JC, apparently one of the top premier education in Singapore. And when I thought life couldn't get even harder, here I am, seeking to apply to even greater heights of Cambridge and Princeton.
If I am a fish, I was born very small, and was constantly thrown into bigger and bigger ponds before I can even grow to my fullest potentials. It was really just nice, any slower growth and I would have been swallowed by the Piranha of the pond --- stress and fear. Of course, I managed it with the help of the people around me, they make me believe that guardian angels exist. I remember how at one instance, I was lonely and stressed, and my ex-teacher gave me a Facebook message just on time to tell me that everything was going to be alright. At another instance, I was at the end of the rope when a particular girl threw one anew at me. It may sound naive and puerile, but back then she was the driving force that woke me up from my bed in my early mornings.
But of course, the second redeeming feature of myself played a significant part too. I used to get carried away feeling very inferior; After all, I believed that I got where I am now due to the fact that I had potential --- It remains to be seen if it will ever be realized. However, whenever I am in despair, I stop, turn inwards, and look back. I do realize, despite leaving lots of shattered glasses and leakages of water behind in my imperfect trail, it has been a wonderful journey after all. I remember telling a stranger at a perfume shop: "a black sheep makes the white sheep whiter." Without these challenges, I would never realize my life and my true potential. Although time had barely allowed me to breathe and expand my wings, this is the path I took, and I never regretted it, thank you!
So life, please carry on, take me to greater heights, and bless me with these greater challenges.
It was meant to be.
So to be honest, I have Singaporean friends asking me; I have ladies asking me about where I would live in after I finish studying. What my reply was, and will always be: "Singapore is a really nice place to stay. You are taken care of, everything is stable, and wonderful." However, it is only right to repay one's debts, and to help one's country in whatever possible way you can, thus I am going back to Indonesia one day to live there again, hopefully growing together with her. Why? The choice seems foolish: It is a lot riskier, and is truly much more difficult. Then the voice inside my head asks: "why not?"
After all, working my way upwards has always been my specialty.
---
Okay, I have a few confessions to make. This definitely took more than twenty minutes, perhaps almost twice of it including the brainstorming and the grammar checks. Moreover, it definitely exceeds five hundred words, perhaps amassing about 700 to 800 words? And I am simply too sleepy to condense it. Nevermind, hopefully it paints a better picture of myself nevertheless. Thanks for reading :)
Orh, if any Singaporean teachers are reading this blog, happy Teachers' day :) In Indonesia, we refer to teachers as "Pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa" which literally translates to "heroes without insignia". It may be tough to be the sole candle amid the oppressing enigma of darkness, but please carry on, for someday the room will be brightly lit.
Truly Indonesia's Finest
The milkoracle proposed that 20 minutes or 4 and a half hours of writing the CommonApp US Essay would yield the same result, so here goes nothing!
---
I remembered a poignant conversation with my friend: "If you can start from above, why do you insist on starting below and working your way up? You'll die of exhaustion!"
We were talking about relationships, but his question really extended to other areas of my life. I come from a comfortable middle-class family in Indonesia and life has always been easy, but mediocre for me. I had little aptitude in the arts and sports, and an unfit physique. Only two features redeemed me: my slightly above intelligence, and my attitude. I don't mean to brag, but my life could have been considerably easier. I mean, I could always stay put and perform regularly in my studies, and lead a comfortable life in Indonesia, my beloved country.
Yet, my life has always been full of leaps. I moved to a much more competitive secondary school in Tangerang, Indonesia, and from there, leaped to out-of-the-world St Joseph's Institution in Singapore. Seemingly unsatisfied, with a lot of luck, I joined the famous Bishan JC, apparently one of the top premier education in Singapore. And when I thought life couldn't get even harder, here I am, seeking to apply to even greater heights of Cambridge and Princeton.
If I am a fish, I was born very small, and was constantly thrown into bigger and bigger ponds before I can even grow to my fullest potentials. It was really just nice, any slower growth and I would have been swallowed by the Piranha of the pond --- stress and fear. Of course, I managed it with the help of the people around me, they make me believe that guardian angels exist. I remember how at one instance, I was lonely and stressed, and my ex-teacher gave me a Facebook message just on time to tell me that everything was going to be alright. At another instance, I was at the end of the rope when a particular girl threw one anew at me. It may sound naive and puerile, but back then she was the driving force that woke me up from my bed in my early mornings.
But of course, the second redeeming feature of myself played a significant part too. I used to get carried away feeling very inferior; After all, I believed that I got where I am now due to the fact that I had potential --- It remains to be seen if it will ever be realized. However, whenever I am in despair, I stop, turn inwards, and look back. I do realize, despite leaving lots of shattered glasses and leakages of water behind in my imperfect trail, it has been a wonderful journey after all. I remember telling a stranger at a perfume shop: "a black sheep makes the white sheep whiter." Without these challenges, I would never realize my life and my true potential. Although time had barely allowed me to breathe and expand my wings, this is the path I took, and I never regretted it, thank you!
So life, please carry on, take me to greater heights, and bless me with these greater challenges.
It was meant to be.
So to be honest, I have Singaporean friends asking me; I have ladies asking me about where I would live in after I finish studying. What my reply was, and will always be: "Singapore is a really nice place to stay. You are taken care of, everything is stable, and wonderful." However, it is only right to repay one's debts, and to help one's country in whatever possible way you can, thus I am going back to Indonesia one day to live there again, hopefully growing together with her. Why? The choice seems foolish: It is a lot riskier, and is truly much more difficult. Then the voice inside my head asks: "why not?"
After all, working my way upwards has always been my specialty.
---
Okay, I have a few confessions to make. This definitely took more than twenty minutes, perhaps almost twice of it including the brainstorming and the grammar checks. Moreover, it definitely exceeds five hundred words, perhaps amassing about 700 to 800 words? And I am simply too sleepy to condense it. Nevermind, hopefully it paints a better picture of myself nevertheless. Thanks for reading :)
Orh, if any Singaporean teachers are reading this blog, happy Teachers' day :) In Indonesia, we refer to teachers as "Pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa" which literally translates to "heroes without insignia". It may be tough to be the sole candle amid the oppressing enigma of darkness, but please carry on, for someday the room will be brightly lit.
Truly Indonesia's Finest
Friday, 24 August 2012
Day 38 - Last Night Out
Hi there :)
Today is my last official day of school. Though there'll be more significant milestones, like the Farewell Assembly or the end of As, today marks the beginning of the finale throughout my four years sojourn in Singapore. Definitely not without challenges, my journey was. Now, I shall resist the temptation to speak like an old man and not write my year end reflections yet! There'll be one post constituting such overarching summation of my experiences here, but let's save that for later :)
Anyway, I decided to be an antisocial hermit who needed some time by himself, barring all contact and accessibility by deliberately leaving my mobile phone behind. It was a really fun outing, truly :) I opted for a steak dinner at Astons (but had a pork chop, as usual) and while waiting around twenty minutes for my order to be grilled to perfection, I thought, reflected, and mused.
"Aku bersyukur atas hubunganku dengan dia, yang sungguh sungguh nyaman. Hubungan kita ini memang unik, menarik, dan sangat membebaskan. Tidak ada ekspektasi, tidak ada sakit hati.. Terima kasih :)" *, thus I told myself.
Therein comes the reply: "Mau dibuat lebih nyaman lagi?" **
"Ikut rencanaMu saja. Terjadilah kehendakMu :)" + I quipped.
Silence fell.. I am always ever thankful for being blessed with such a girl. No, she's not my girlfriend, and I don't know if she is ever going to be mine.. But I don't mind :) So I adjusted my sitting position and reclined slightly, and further contemplated my blessings. It has been an interesting journey, indeed. It has been mostly fun, and it has been a delightful one, filled with a lot of laughter, love, and pleasure. As my mind start to wonder on about my greater glories in the future, the beeper^ rang.
A really nice dinner, truly :)
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
*I'm so grateful for my relationship with her, which feels very comfortable. This relationship is really unique, interesting, and truly liberating. There are no expectations, there's no pain in the heart.. Thank you :)
**Would you like it to be made even more comfortable?
+I'll follow Thy plans. Thy will be done :)
^In Astons Express, you get a beeper when you order your food. It will ring when your food is ready, as a signpost to collect your meal.
Today is my last official day of school. Though there'll be more significant milestones, like the Farewell Assembly or the end of As, today marks the beginning of the finale throughout my four years sojourn in Singapore. Definitely not without challenges, my journey was. Now, I shall resist the temptation to speak like an old man and not write my year end reflections yet! There'll be one post constituting such overarching summation of my experiences here, but let's save that for later :)
Anyway, I decided to be an antisocial hermit who needed some time by himself, barring all contact and accessibility by deliberately leaving my mobile phone behind. It was a really fun outing, truly :) I opted for a steak dinner at Astons (but had a pork chop, as usual) and while waiting around twenty minutes for my order to be grilled to perfection, I thought, reflected, and mused.
"Aku bersyukur atas hubunganku dengan dia, yang sungguh sungguh nyaman. Hubungan kita ini memang unik, menarik, dan sangat membebaskan. Tidak ada ekspektasi, tidak ada sakit hati.. Terima kasih :)" *, thus I told myself.
Therein comes the reply: "Mau dibuat lebih nyaman lagi?" **
"Ikut rencanaMu saja. Terjadilah kehendakMu :)" + I quipped.
Silence fell.. I am always ever thankful for being blessed with such a girl. No, she's not my girlfriend, and I don't know if she is ever going to be mine.. But I don't mind :) So I adjusted my sitting position and reclined slightly, and further contemplated my blessings. It has been an interesting journey, indeed. It has been mostly fun, and it has been a delightful one, filled with a lot of laughter, love, and pleasure. As my mind start to wonder on about my greater glories in the future, the beeper^ rang.
A really nice dinner, truly :)
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
*I'm so grateful for my relationship with her, which feels very comfortable. This relationship is really unique, interesting, and truly liberating. There are no expectations, there's no pain in the heart.. Thank you :)
**Would you like it to be made even more comfortable?
+I'll follow Thy plans. Thy will be done :)
^In Astons Express, you get a beeper when you order your food. It will ring when your food is ready, as a signpost to collect your meal.
Friday, 17 August 2012
Day 31 - Day of Independence
(Hi, today's post will be kind of bilingual, but no worries, translations are provided!)
The world needs more faith. Faith is enough, more than enough, to solve any kinds of problems, always. Around eight months back, I received the lesson of the importance of faith from my guide. "Setelah menghadapi dua ratus tahun penjajahan, Indonesia bisa merdeka dengan memegang satu keyakinan. Satu keyakinan yang dirangkum dalam tiga kata, tetapi kekuatannya menyatukan dua ratus lima puluh juta manusia di nusantara. Keyakinan itu adalah 'Merdeka atau Mati.' Merdeka atau Mati."*
Today commemorates Indonesia's 67 years of Independence from the hands of the Netherlands. When I updated my Facebook status, I mentioned that Indonesia has been independent from our conquerors, but she is hardly sovereign over poverty and corruption. What does it take to develop a nation? The answer, is again, faith. The faith manifests itself as a strength, to never give up, to never yield, and always strive forward: realizing what has actually been there all along, and taking back what she rightfully owns. That is the Indonesian Spirit.
This faith, stronger than the unity of even the world's most intimate couples, are ingrained in every Indonesian's blood. It defies logic, how despite we are treated as second-class citizens, how we feel increasingly frustrated by the pollution and traffic congestion, how we feel threatened by internal security and the stability of the country, we still take pride in the fact that we are Indonesians. Is it the soil, the sovereign land, where we feel that we belong to? Is it the air we breathe, or is it the water we drink, that made hundreds of thousands of youths willing to shed their blood a few decades ago?
Again, above all, it is the faith. 'Merdeka atau Mati.' The phrase truly reflects our desire for freedom beyond freedom. Lack thereof is worse than death. Now I pray to the Sovereign, so that I shall study ever harder, so that I shall possess ever more power, so that someday I can grow and give back to the country I love the most, and the country I am the most indebted towards. Even though I couldn't be part of the warfare to liberate you from the hands of the Hollands, I would be very honored to liberate you from the hands of corruption and poverty someday. Happy birthday Indonesia. Shall love you always.
"Tidak ada hal apapun yang bisa kulakukan, tiada siapapun yang akan bisa lakukan, yang bisa mengubah fakta bahwa aku dilahirkan sebagai orang Indonesia, di tanah airku tercinta ini. Dari nafas pertama sampai ke liang kubur, akan selalu merah darahku, putih tulangku. Untukmu, Indonesia." **
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
*After facing two hundred years of colonization, Indonesia achieved her freedom by holding one faith. That one faith is coined in a merely three-word long phrase, but its strength united two hundred and fifty million across the Indonesian archipelago. The faith is, 'Independence or Death.' 'Freedom or Annihilation.'
**There is nothing I nor anyone can do to do to ever change the truth that I am born Indonesian, here in my beloved homeland. From the first breath to the moment I enter my casket, forever shall my blood be red, my bones, white. For thee, Indonesia.
The world needs more faith. Faith is enough, more than enough, to solve any kinds of problems, always. Around eight months back, I received the lesson of the importance of faith from my guide. "Setelah menghadapi dua ratus tahun penjajahan, Indonesia bisa merdeka dengan memegang satu keyakinan. Satu keyakinan yang dirangkum dalam tiga kata, tetapi kekuatannya menyatukan dua ratus lima puluh juta manusia di nusantara. Keyakinan itu adalah 'Merdeka atau Mati.' Merdeka atau Mati."*
Today commemorates Indonesia's 67 years of Independence from the hands of the Netherlands. When I updated my Facebook status, I mentioned that Indonesia has been independent from our conquerors, but she is hardly sovereign over poverty and corruption. What does it take to develop a nation? The answer, is again, faith. The faith manifests itself as a strength, to never give up, to never yield, and always strive forward: realizing what has actually been there all along, and taking back what she rightfully owns. That is the Indonesian Spirit.
This faith, stronger than the unity of even the world's most intimate couples, are ingrained in every Indonesian's blood. It defies logic, how despite we are treated as second-class citizens, how we feel increasingly frustrated by the pollution and traffic congestion, how we feel threatened by internal security and the stability of the country, we still take pride in the fact that we are Indonesians. Is it the soil, the sovereign land, where we feel that we belong to? Is it the air we breathe, or is it the water we drink, that made hundreds of thousands of youths willing to shed their blood a few decades ago?
Again, above all, it is the faith. 'Merdeka atau Mati.' The phrase truly reflects our desire for freedom beyond freedom. Lack thereof is worse than death. Now I pray to the Sovereign, so that I shall study ever harder, so that I shall possess ever more power, so that someday I can grow and give back to the country I love the most, and the country I am the most indebted towards. Even though I couldn't be part of the warfare to liberate you from the hands of the Hollands, I would be very honored to liberate you from the hands of corruption and poverty someday. Happy birthday Indonesia. Shall love you always.
"Tidak ada hal apapun yang bisa kulakukan, tiada siapapun yang akan bisa lakukan, yang bisa mengubah fakta bahwa aku dilahirkan sebagai orang Indonesia, di tanah airku tercinta ini. Dari nafas pertama sampai ke liang kubur, akan selalu merah darahku, putih tulangku. Untukmu, Indonesia." **
Truly Indonesia's Finest.
*After facing two hundred years of colonization, Indonesia achieved her freedom by holding one faith. That one faith is coined in a merely three-word long phrase, but its strength united two hundred and fifty million across the Indonesian archipelago. The faith is, 'Independence or Death.' 'Freedom or Annihilation.'
**There is nothing I nor anyone can do to do to ever change the truth that I am born Indonesian, here in my beloved homeland. From the first breath to the moment I enter my casket, forever shall my blood be red, my bones, white. For thee, Indonesia.
Friday, 10 August 2012
Day 25 - Sovereign
I opened my eyes.
A personal but prominent voice spoke, "Who are you to defy His sovereign Words? For without Him, without I, you are nothing."
"But you gave me so much freedom." I murmured, being yet fully aware of what's happening.
"More, much more than you realize." His tone softened, becoming somewhat soothing and calm. "I am by your side, but you seldom feel My presence. I watch you as you rise awake, and as you lie asleep.. I understand you more than anything in the world.. I have lived within you since the beginning of time, and unto the end of it.."
My face loosened. I closed back my eyes and whispered my reply, "Finally, I am able to hear You. Able to hear Him. Thank You... It is such a relief.."
He became slightly impatient, still amicably, akin to a good teacher prodding his student to grasp a difficult concept. "Then, tell me. how long do you plan to keep on treading waters? Are you ready for His plans through I?"
"Pray, tell me how to not tread waters."
"Surrender yourself to the sovereign, the almighty, and the omnipotent presence of His. Listen to Me, leave everything to Me. Everything else is lesser and tantamount to going in circles."
(...)
My worries dissolved and my fears conquered before such presence.
A personal but prominent voice spoke, "Who are you to defy His sovereign Words? For without Him, without I, you are nothing."
"But you gave me so much freedom." I murmured, being yet fully aware of what's happening.
"More, much more than you realize." His tone softened, becoming somewhat soothing and calm. "I am by your side, but you seldom feel My presence. I watch you as you rise awake, and as you lie asleep.. I understand you more than anything in the world.. I have lived within you since the beginning of time, and unto the end of it.."
My face loosened. I closed back my eyes and whispered my reply, "Finally, I am able to hear You. Able to hear Him. Thank You... It is such a relief.."
He became slightly impatient, still amicably, akin to a good teacher prodding his student to grasp a difficult concept. "Then, tell me. how long do you plan to keep on treading waters? Are you ready for His plans through I?"
"Pray, tell me how to not tread waters."
"Surrender yourself to the sovereign, the almighty, and the omnipotent presence of His. Listen to Me, leave everything to Me. Everything else is lesser and tantamount to going in circles."
(...)
My worries dissolved and my fears conquered before such presence.
Monday, 6 August 2012
Day 20 - Kindergarten
Hi there :)
Other than having to dance Macarena in front of my whole GP class, today was interesting for a lot of other reasons.
So I was lost in the bottom of abyss, left alone in the dark, questioning the misgivings of this world. A sudden inspiration came, the rope was thrown out. I pulled the rope, and became in contact with a particular girl. She is really different from the rest as she has a very developed soul-infused casing; someone who is extremely wise and nonjudgemental. Anyway, I have been meaning to see her and discuss a lot of issues with her, and it happened today :)
She was originally a secondary schoolmate in Indonesia, I had vague memories of talking to her. That's about it; I've barely spoken to her.. Nevertheless, we established some ground within the first few minutes of talking and the awkwardness vanished like magic. What we talked about, God knows, shall not disclose it here! Good to know that she gives me the necessary reassurance and calmness, infused with occasional excitement, just as a kindergarten child would be so excited to see his teacher.
Anyway, I am extremely extremely grateful for having the chance to see her. I am thankful that I am not alone in this journey; unlike her who has experienced the painfulness of knowing too much too early. It is really interesting to listen about her insights on life and relationships, and to understand how liberal she is. Lastly, she was talking about what appeals to her about men, which is their 'sexy energy'. And I couldn't help but think about GANGNAM STYLE! AHHAAHHAAHAH
Well, nice meeting you, and thank you for your guidance. See you sometime :)
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Day 13 - Liquid Chronos
So I shall begin the post today, the fruits of my procrastination and inspiration, exploring the abstract concept of time. Millions have asked: what is time? Nevertheless, millions of millions take them for granted. Have you ever wondered, why is time linear? And if discrete dimensions exist, and they are described as "timeless" not following the linear sense, how do one measure progress in that dimension? I mean, you might think that you are progressing forward, but for all you know you may be going round a circular direction or even reversing backwards..
Nevertheless, I learned some important lessons today. Despite the nonlinear nature of ethereal time, it still takes time for a person to develop. The lesser and the greater beings coexist in this planar dimension, and I realize that at some point or another, the greater beings go through life as lesser beings too, hence the greater beings should feel happy despite all the unhappiness these lesser beings inflict upon them, for they are merely repaying what their predecessors lent them. Moreover, in the midst of questions, assumptions, and postulations as described in the former paragraph, it is definitely reassuring to know that progress is linear, and not re-set, despite the nonlinear characteristics of higher time.
Much apologies for the abstract and otherworldly concepts... If you don't get it, it is not the right time, yet.. Anyway, let's talk about more worldly ideas: My Ecological Literacy mentor highlighted a very interesting notion. We were discussing about our project, and she brought up the concept of "energy of creation", a process which she described as gaining an inflow of energy from your inner faculties and resources that acts as a drive when you create something, leading to a sense of satisfaction, and a further desire to create.
Putting it into my context, apart from human projects, happiness, love, and friendships, I love to create good memories. So around two years ago I was a graduating Staff Sergeant of a particular Uniformed Group in SJI, my beloved Alma Mater. After almost a year taking care of the sec 1 cadets, it was the time to say goodbye, and I didn't know what struck me but I believe it was really an inspired action.
The contingent was gathering in the grasspatch one last time under my batch's leadership. It was well into the evening, straight after the conclusion of our Annual Parade, which marks the official end of my UG career. Seeking to make a final impression, I pulled out a bag of chewing gums and gave each and everyone of my sec 1 cadets a packet each. Time has diluted my memory, but I recall saying something along the lines of: "the taste of these chewing gums will fade away as you chew on it. But don't let the spirit and the memory of our times together dissolve along with the taste."
And a few weeks back I came back to my Alma Mater for her Annual Parade. I witnessed the batch of sec 1 cadets I used to train taking over the leadership of the CCA, and I felt immensely proud as these young boys grow into men. I was talking to a new recruit, and he was telling me how the batch still remembers me and my chewing gum moment. I am immensely happy. :,) I confess I wasn't the best sergeant. Owing to the fact that English is my second language, I had immense difficulties scolding them in English! I don't know if they even understood what I was trying to put across! I also remember the times where I dreaded Fridays as it meant I would have to attend my CCA. I recalled how I told myself and others that this CCA is a complete bullshit.
But looking back, I grew as a person and into a man I am today through the hardships accrued through this CCA. However, I feel that it is even more fulfilling to witness the growth of the people you nurture. As you see the transformation, you feel that the missing piece of the puzzle is being fit to complete the whole picture. And trust me, these are good times, good memories, that I never regretted creating. And now, to create more of these. :)
Truly Indonesia's Finest
Nevertheless, I learned some important lessons today. Despite the nonlinear nature of ethereal time, it still takes time for a person to develop. The lesser and the greater beings coexist in this planar dimension, and I realize that at some point or another, the greater beings go through life as lesser beings too, hence the greater beings should feel happy despite all the unhappiness these lesser beings inflict upon them, for they are merely repaying what their predecessors lent them. Moreover, in the midst of questions, assumptions, and postulations as described in the former paragraph, it is definitely reassuring to know that progress is linear, and not re-set, despite the nonlinear characteristics of higher time.
Much apologies for the abstract and otherworldly concepts... If you don't get it, it is not the right time, yet.. Anyway, let's talk about more worldly ideas: My Ecological Literacy mentor highlighted a very interesting notion. We were discussing about our project, and she brought up the concept of "energy of creation", a process which she described as gaining an inflow of energy from your inner faculties and resources that acts as a drive when you create something, leading to a sense of satisfaction, and a further desire to create.
Putting it into my context, apart from human projects, happiness, love, and friendships, I love to create good memories. So around two years ago I was a graduating Staff Sergeant of a particular Uniformed Group in SJI, my beloved Alma Mater. After almost a year taking care of the sec 1 cadets, it was the time to say goodbye, and I didn't know what struck me but I believe it was really an inspired action.
The contingent was gathering in the grasspatch one last time under my batch's leadership. It was well into the evening, straight after the conclusion of our Annual Parade, which marks the official end of my UG career. Seeking to make a final impression, I pulled out a bag of chewing gums and gave each and everyone of my sec 1 cadets a packet each. Time has diluted my memory, but I recall saying something along the lines of: "the taste of these chewing gums will fade away as you chew on it. But don't let the spirit and the memory of our times together dissolve along with the taste."
And a few weeks back I came back to my Alma Mater for her Annual Parade. I witnessed the batch of sec 1 cadets I used to train taking over the leadership of the CCA, and I felt immensely proud as these young boys grow into men. I was talking to a new recruit, and he was telling me how the batch still remembers me and my chewing gum moment. I am immensely happy. :,) I confess I wasn't the best sergeant. Owing to the fact that English is my second language, I had immense difficulties scolding them in English! I don't know if they even understood what I was trying to put across! I also remember the times where I dreaded Fridays as it meant I would have to attend my CCA. I recalled how I told myself and others that this CCA is a complete bullshit.
But looking back, I grew as a person and into a man I am today through the hardships accrued through this CCA. However, I feel that it is even more fulfilling to witness the growth of the people you nurture. As you see the transformation, you feel that the missing piece of the puzzle is being fit to complete the whole picture. And trust me, these are good times, good memories, that I never regretted creating. And now, to create more of these. :)
Truly Indonesia's Finest
Thursday, 26 July 2012
Day 8 - The Inner Flame
So honestly it is really interesting to see how things turn out :)
I'm really sorry that it's not a verbatim quote, but here goes: "There are always two voices speaking to you inside. Listen to the correct one." No, I am not really trying to quote my school principal. Believe me or not, someone else told me this, before I even heard my principal's address. And they're talking about different issues altogether.
Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this blog post to this particular friend of mine :) I know I am living a very comfortable life, but the body still has its own attachments. It's not really easy, and rather uncomfortable to try and address these challenges. I remember that I keep telling myself: "I need someone to reassure me! Someone to tell me that everything's going to be okay in the end. That I'm doing just fine, just great." I do found one in Indonesia, but unfortunately he's really difficult to meet.
Truth be told, I have this feeling that someday I'd be able to tell myself that and come out okay, but meanwhile I found another person! And that is my good friend haha. When I speak to her, it feels like a young child talking to his primary school teacher --- she is very reassuring and calm, yet she does not look down on me. Indeed, it is really different when you talk to a very developed person. I'd like to take this space and give thanks for the fact that our paths cross :)
So, back to the quote, how do you decide which is the correct one? It's hard. So? Try harder. Or don't try. The end result will be the same. There is a liquid-crystal like consciousness flowing inside you, sweetly whispering the inspirations that do not stem from your conscious thoughts. Of course, our emotions, worries, fears, anxieties, attachments, and reservations dilute the infusion of these pure streams. They serve as a distraction, drowning out the melodies of life until one cannot hear thyself. Hence try but stop trying. Do but stop doing. Desire but stop desiring. Only once everything reaches the state of equilibrium will you get closer to your inner wellspring.
Actually, the title of the post is somewhat misleading. Rather than characterizing it as fire, I'd prefer characterizing it as water, as an oasis in the middle of a sordid desert. But the eternal flame embodies our will to stay alive and our passion to learn, so I guess it retains a degree of significance and accuracy too.
The bottom line? Just carry on doing whatever you are doing. You are doing fine, you are doing great :) Be aware, and you'll be awesome. (laughs) the man who encouraged me also told me that I am one, or two, in two hundred and fifty million. I shall leave it to the readers to interpret the sentence; all I can say is that I am immensely happy and proud having heard it. A thought came up to me, however, that my journey will be a lonely one, as very few people would have developed thus far. And thankfully, at my present casing state, there are still a handful of more advanced people. This really easens up my burden. Good relief, I'm not alone..
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
I'm really sorry that it's not a verbatim quote, but here goes: "There are always two voices speaking to you inside. Listen to the correct one." No, I am not really trying to quote my school principal. Believe me or not, someone else told me this, before I even heard my principal's address. And they're talking about different issues altogether.
Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this blog post to this particular friend of mine :) I know I am living a very comfortable life, but the body still has its own attachments. It's not really easy, and rather uncomfortable to try and address these challenges. I remember that I keep telling myself: "I need someone to reassure me! Someone to tell me that everything's going to be okay in the end. That I'm doing just fine, just great." I do found one in Indonesia, but unfortunately he's really difficult to meet.
Truth be told, I have this feeling that someday I'd be able to tell myself that and come out okay, but meanwhile I found another person! And that is my good friend haha. When I speak to her, it feels like a young child talking to his primary school teacher --- she is very reassuring and calm, yet she does not look down on me. Indeed, it is really different when you talk to a very developed person. I'd like to take this space and give thanks for the fact that our paths cross :)
So, back to the quote, how do you decide which is the correct one? It's hard. So? Try harder. Or don't try. The end result will be the same. There is a liquid-crystal like consciousness flowing inside you, sweetly whispering the inspirations that do not stem from your conscious thoughts. Of course, our emotions, worries, fears, anxieties, attachments, and reservations dilute the infusion of these pure streams. They serve as a distraction, drowning out the melodies of life until one cannot hear thyself. Hence try but stop trying. Do but stop doing. Desire but stop desiring. Only once everything reaches the state of equilibrium will you get closer to your inner wellspring.
Actually, the title of the post is somewhat misleading. Rather than characterizing it as fire, I'd prefer characterizing it as water, as an oasis in the middle of a sordid desert. But the eternal flame embodies our will to stay alive and our passion to learn, so I guess it retains a degree of significance and accuracy too.
The bottom line? Just carry on doing whatever you are doing. You are doing fine, you are doing great :) Be aware, and you'll be awesome. (laughs) the man who encouraged me also told me that I am one, or two, in two hundred and fifty million. I shall leave it to the readers to interpret the sentence; all I can say is that I am immensely happy and proud having heard it. A thought came up to me, however, that my journey will be a lonely one, as very few people would have developed thus far. And thankfully, at my present casing state, there are still a handful of more advanced people. This really easens up my burden. Good relief, I'm not alone..
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Friday, 20 July 2012
Day 2 - Circle of Life
Today is a great day.
I told myself.. So, this day has come, huh? I remember all the feelings and thoughts I had during last year's installation. I was still rather lost and trying to figure my way out while immersing in the Rafflesian life. I was sad, because installation meant that I would be parting ways with my favorite senior, the vice president of Raffles Interact Club..
I recall the days of how I joined interact, by a lot of coincidence. I first arrived to my present school 15 months ago, and as part of the requirement by MOE, I need to belong to a CCA. Didn't have much choice, considering that I am not built to compete or perform in front of an audience. Putting 'Interact Club' under my CCA was a pure coincidence; I could have put down 'Community Advocates', which actually gave me a better idea what the club was about.
What I understood was the fact that Interact Club was somehow related to doing CIP, and I thought, hey why not give a chance? So I went to the interview, knowing almost zero about the organization I am about to join and belong in for the two years. Neither I knew the fact that Interact Club has a very high rejection rate, with only 80 people accepted out of 300 or more people applying. And I got in by smoking through. :P
Anyway, as I write in my RD essays, Interact really defines my two years of JC life. As I sat down at LT 2 for my batch's installation today, I told myself: It has finally come to a full circle. To be honest, I am very sad that it has ended, as I made a lot of good friends, amazing moments, and lots of laughter. However, as my president was saying: "Don't cry because it is over. Be thankful that it happened."
Indeed, my Interact journey is a blessing. I am ever grateful for all the good things that happened to me, I'm now a different person altogether after alighting from the Interact ship. Of course, there were things that could have been better, stuff that should not have happened. Nevertheless, I figured out that I did my best, and I deserve the happy ending I worked so hard for. It is the simple but powerful realization that you have touched so many people's lives, and that you know there's a group of friend out there who love you and take care of you as a part of their family.
And a particular girl too. Or two. Or three. Hmm...
To end off, let me dollop with a statement that highlights the importance of Interact to me. Interactors do not win competitions. We do not bring back gold medals like the athletes, neither do we bring back the SYF gold like the performing arts groups, nor do we win international olympiads like the academics CCA. What we bring back to the school is, what we take pride in, what we serve for is --- the fact that we win the hearts of other people. And to me, that is more golden than any gold.
Thank you, Interact. As a circle does not have an end, I pray that the service journey shall be free from the boundaries and constraints of time..
-The Indonesia's Finest
I told myself.. So, this day has come, huh? I remember all the feelings and thoughts I had during last year's installation. I was still rather lost and trying to figure my way out while immersing in the Rafflesian life. I was sad, because installation meant that I would be parting ways with my favorite senior, the vice president of Raffles Interact Club..
I recall the days of how I joined interact, by a lot of coincidence. I first arrived to my present school 15 months ago, and as part of the requirement by MOE, I need to belong to a CCA. Didn't have much choice, considering that I am not built to compete or perform in front of an audience. Putting 'Interact Club' under my CCA was a pure coincidence; I could have put down 'Community Advocates', which actually gave me a better idea what the club was about.
What I understood was the fact that Interact Club was somehow related to doing CIP, and I thought, hey why not give a chance? So I went to the interview, knowing almost zero about the organization I am about to join and belong in for the two years. Neither I knew the fact that Interact Club has a very high rejection rate, with only 80 people accepted out of 300 or more people applying. And I got in by smoking through. :P
Anyway, as I write in my RD essays, Interact really defines my two years of JC life. As I sat down at LT 2 for my batch's installation today, I told myself: It has finally come to a full circle. To be honest, I am very sad that it has ended, as I made a lot of good friends, amazing moments, and lots of laughter. However, as my president was saying: "Don't cry because it is over. Be thankful that it happened."
Indeed, my Interact journey is a blessing. I am ever grateful for all the good things that happened to me, I'm now a different person altogether after alighting from the Interact ship. Of course, there were things that could have been better, stuff that should not have happened. Nevertheless, I figured out that I did my best, and I deserve the happy ending I worked so hard for. It is the simple but powerful realization that you have touched so many people's lives, and that you know there's a group of friend out there who love you and take care of you as a part of their family.
And a particular girl too. Or two. Or three. Hmm...
To end off, let me dollop with a statement that highlights the importance of Interact to me. Interactors do not win competitions. We do not bring back gold medals like the athletes, neither do we bring back the SYF gold like the performing arts groups, nor do we win international olympiads like the academics CCA. What we bring back to the school is, what we take pride in, what we serve for is --- the fact that we win the hearts of other people. And to me, that is more golden than any gold.
Thank you, Interact. As a circle does not have an end, I pray that the service journey shall be free from the boundaries and constraints of time..
-The Indonesia's Finest
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Day 1 - Project
Hi, today's generally a note to self, something insightful but not necessarily applicable to you all..
I am grateful, so grateful, eternally grateful, for the fact that I am able to effect a positive change in the lives of people around me. Some need me more than others, Some are more influenced than the rest.
Anyway, I have the privilege to try and mold the life of a particular girl I treasure. She faces a lot of conflicts, tough times, and challenges at her young age, and I am so glad that she opened up to me about her problems. It is good practice, too, when I realize that I am becoming a better mediator. I believe that she is a trial, or a 'project', for me to try whatever wisdom and inspirations I am being blessed with.
Moving on, I am so glad that she is progressing really well. She is starting to show more gratitude and positive thinking. More importantly, she is showing more kindness and forgiveness towards herself. As I notice that she is adopting a more optimistic outlook of her life, I become very relieved from the bottom of my heart. I thought: "oh hey, at least she's going to do alright. Thank goodness."
I feel that it is not coincidental for me to experience some tough times. For today I was able to relate to her problems; you can't really be a teacher if you have not worked through the problems first. The fact that she told me that she couldn't really find my character flaws is also funny. I am certain that I have my own character flaws, like the 2 bad bricks among 998 good bricks. However, I have difficulty seeing them as I learned how to forgive myself :) It is fine for me to have flaws, after all, at least I have something to work upon.
Now, I really have to be careful to not get too attached :) As someone who tries to be her strength, I should place zero expectations and attach no feelings or emotions but happiness towards her. Everything's going to be alright, and yeah thank you for the success of the project! I am much delighted. :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
I am grateful, so grateful, eternally grateful, for the fact that I am able to effect a positive change in the lives of people around me. Some need me more than others, Some are more influenced than the rest.
Anyway, I have the privilege to try and mold the life of a particular girl I treasure. She faces a lot of conflicts, tough times, and challenges at her young age, and I am so glad that she opened up to me about her problems. It is good practice, too, when I realize that I am becoming a better mediator. I believe that she is a trial, or a 'project', for me to try whatever wisdom and inspirations I am being blessed with.
Moving on, I am so glad that she is progressing really well. She is starting to show more gratitude and positive thinking. More importantly, she is showing more kindness and forgiveness towards herself. As I notice that she is adopting a more optimistic outlook of her life, I become very relieved from the bottom of my heart. I thought: "oh hey, at least she's going to do alright. Thank goodness."
I feel that it is not coincidental for me to experience some tough times. For today I was able to relate to her problems; you can't really be a teacher if you have not worked through the problems first. The fact that she told me that she couldn't really find my character flaws is also funny. I am certain that I have my own character flaws, like the 2 bad bricks among 998 good bricks. However, I have difficulty seeing them as I learned how to forgive myself :) It is fine for me to have flaws, after all, at least I have something to work upon.
Now, I really have to be careful to not get too attached :) As someone who tries to be her strength, I should place zero expectations and attach no feelings or emotions but happiness towards her. Everything's going to be alright, and yeah thank you for the success of the project! I am much delighted. :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Day XY - A Fresh Start
Meh, I thought I'd pick up this blog and start writing again. hahaha.
Oh, how times have changed. I am sitting in the middle of July, trying to wrap up whatever I have achieved and preparing for the daunting As ahead. While trying my best to slack in between and steal some laughter from thin air. Oh well, that's life!
Why the sudden continuation, you ask? Did I fall in love again? Perhaps, because to be honest, these streams of literature (which is hopefully slightly better than a piece of rubbish) may be sparked from my love affairs. But nope, I came to conclusion that the traces of memories I left behind turns out to be nuggets of gold for inspirations and ideas years ahead. (Not really all of them, some of them are complete crap, but really entertaining.)
Anyway, I was planning to ramble on about my casing's development and new insights, but since time is pressing and I have to embark for a dinner with my grandparents and my dad and younger brother, I'll end off here. Cheers for a new start! :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
mhmm, so I wanted to add on but was too lazy to start a new post. Anyway just a few insights for the night and I'm off to bed.. hehe. Firstly, never underestimate the power of your thoughts, to be more exact, the power of positive thoughts, gratitude, and love. I've been experimenting with thoughts and feelings, and spooky (but real awesome) results sprung up. Thanked for slimmer body I lost 7kg. Thanked for money I received hundreds of dollars. Thanked for girls suddenly the particular girl I like asked me out for a drink. Thank you :)
Even stronger than thoughts are your feelings. I cannot really quantify how thoughts relate to your feelings; whether one is borne out of another or coexist from a same source. Yet I know feelings are hundreds, if not thousands times stronger than my thoughts, especially for an idealist optimist like me :) Anyway, I was reading this book by Ajahn Chah, he was talking about observations and all. So I decided to give it a shot, when a less than neutral (unfavourable) thoughts/feelings sprung up, I observed it instead of running away from it. And hey, guess what, doing so produces interesting results! With thoughts all jumbled up, (I) can't really describe the sensation (my body) experiences. Just that (I) feel it is much easier for (me) to detach from (my) thoughts. Notice the parentheses? Go figure. :)
There is no such thing as an impure mind. Impure thoughts cloud the mind, just as mud and sand suspend in murky water. The two exist independently, they are discrete, they are not borne out of another. Let the mud and sand settle, and you shall see the depth, the threshold, the true gauge, of your mind.
---
Oh, how times have changed. I am sitting in the middle of July, trying to wrap up whatever I have achieved and preparing for the daunting As ahead. While trying my best to slack in between and steal some laughter from thin air. Oh well, that's life!
Why the sudden continuation, you ask? Did I fall in love again? Perhaps, because to be honest, these streams of literature (which is hopefully slightly better than a piece of rubbish) may be sparked from my love affairs. But nope, I came to conclusion that the traces of memories I left behind turns out to be nuggets of gold for inspirations and ideas years ahead. (Not really all of them, some of them are complete crap, but really entertaining.)
Anyway, I was planning to ramble on about my casing's development and new insights, but since time is pressing and I have to embark for a dinner with my grandparents and my dad and younger brother, I'll end off here. Cheers for a new start! :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
mhmm, so I wanted to add on but was too lazy to start a new post. Anyway just a few insights for the night and I'm off to bed.. hehe. Firstly, never underestimate the power of your thoughts, to be more exact, the power of positive thoughts, gratitude, and love. I've been experimenting with thoughts and feelings, and spooky (but real awesome) results sprung up. Thanked for slimmer body I lost 7kg. Thanked for money I received hundreds of dollars. Thanked for girls suddenly the particular girl I like asked me out for a drink. Thank you :)
Even stronger than thoughts are your feelings. I cannot really quantify how thoughts relate to your feelings; whether one is borne out of another or coexist from a same source. Yet I know feelings are hundreds, if not thousands times stronger than my thoughts, especially for an idealist optimist like me :) Anyway, I was reading this book by Ajahn Chah, he was talking about observations and all. So I decided to give it a shot, when a less than neutral (unfavourable) thoughts/feelings sprung up, I observed it instead of running away from it. And hey, guess what, doing so produces interesting results! With thoughts all jumbled up, (I) can't really describe the sensation (my body) experiences. Just that (I) feel it is much easier for (me) to detach from (my) thoughts. Notice the parentheses? Go figure. :)
There is no such thing as an impure mind. Impure thoughts cloud the mind, just as mud and sand suspend in murky water. The two exist independently, they are discrete, they are not borne out of another. Let the mud and sand settle, and you shall see the depth, the threshold, the true gauge, of your mind.
---
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Dine in the Dark
Well, yesterday put an end to the Dine in the Dark saga. The last major event in my interact journey, I was very glad to say that all went well, despite the million ways it could have gone wrong. Well, working for DitD can be a real hair-pulling moment.. There were a few days when my thoughts were solely filled with DitD from the moment I woke up from my bed to the moment I touched down the hay. As the organizer of DitD, however, I am really grateful to say that the people I worked with are awesome. I remember that I was skeptical in the beginning if these people would put in their all, but yeah, they did (:
No, to be honest, it wasn't a smooth ride in DitD's preparation. A tough teacher-in-charge who was fickle and had laggard responses, a strong-headed underling who forced his own ideals in the preparation, and witnessing a conflict between your fellow higher-ups were not easy things to deal with. But the preparation really taught me how to handle other people. From public speaking, coming up with impromptu things to talk about, dealing with external organizations and adults, sourcing for sponsorship, to giving my underling a warning about his lack of performance.
I have a hunch that through this event, I am growing closer to my ideals throughout this DitD journey. Mere words won't be fitting to describe whatever pains or happiness I went through, but allow me to talk nevertheless. I will miss the long nights I spent with the training comm in preparing for the stuff and also the J8 meetings with my admin comm. Yeah, now I'm leaving for a dinner with my friends, so will continue to the update (meanwhile it's staggered) when I got more to say :)
Cheers,
Your Indonesian's Finest.
No, to be honest, it wasn't a smooth ride in DitD's preparation. A tough teacher-in-charge who was fickle and had laggard responses, a strong-headed underling who forced his own ideals in the preparation, and witnessing a conflict between your fellow higher-ups were not easy things to deal with. But the preparation really taught me how to handle other people. From public speaking, coming up with impromptu things to talk about, dealing with external organizations and adults, sourcing for sponsorship, to giving my underling a warning about his lack of performance.
I have a hunch that through this event, I am growing closer to my ideals throughout this DitD journey. Mere words won't be fitting to describe whatever pains or happiness I went through, but allow me to talk nevertheless. I will miss the long nights I spent with the training comm in preparing for the stuff and also the J8 meetings with my admin comm. Yeah, now I'm leaving for a dinner with my friends, so will continue to the update (meanwhile it's staggered) when I got more to say :)
Cheers,
Your Indonesian's Finest.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
Day 141 - Loop
Today, while not being the best day ever, was admittedly an excellent proxy to my notion of an ideal day.
I woke up at seven, ate my favorite breakfast at boarding (loh mai kai and chasau biscuits), drank coffee, and headed straight to Punggol. Having reached there early, I took the LRT for fun and went one whole loop to witness "Punggol New Town". The first few stops of the LRT were quite dramatic -- the relatively undeveloped area looked nothing like Singapore. It had the classic rustic feel of an old town in a Final Fantasy game, its LRT stations reminding me of the trains that exist in my childhood game. However, the other half had a Woodland feel. As I learned later, the area used to be a forested haven -- now it is laden with HDB flats higher than Toa Payoh and Bishan's. As I see Woodlands, I can vividly imagine the more untouched part of Punggol being urbanized -- giving the New Town a factory line feel. And I'm afraid that Bukit Brown might suffer from the inescapable doom; it's just the question of when.
Frankly speaking, does anyone care? To be precise, anyone in Singapore? Not having anywhere pristine, authentic, untouched, and instead live in efficient and mass-produced environment. Not criticizing them though, as I admire practical people as well who does not really complain about their surroundings but instead choose to live on. This issue was part of the cause I went to Punggol in the first place; the bigger cause was my teacher's wishes :D Anyway, I have to admit, I learned a lot. Apart from shaking hands and learning how to smoke your way through a DPM, I also learned how to be shameless (basically, just convince yourself that you got nothing to lose, so nothing would stop you then), and also got to connect with some NParks people (they say he's the big shot.. I don't know) and the waterway people. Most importantly, I learned 'how to speak their lingo' -- a lesson in aligning interests -- leading me to three volunteering opportunities, a few name cards, and a resource sent through e-mail.
Enough narrative about what I learned -- I also had fun as I ate a sugar free ice cream. Yeah the ice cream tasted a bit bland but an ice cream is still an ice cream :D caught up with a few old friends -- glad to know they are doing well :) and spammed milo at the milo truck! Heheh felt bad but the milo was delish :D
Anyway, I rushed back to school to attend an Interact meeting and an Interact camp dry run. Pray, tell me that I did not get wet :D and I walked blindfolded from the 7th floor to the Gryphon Square :D Another important highlight would be the videos we watched for pre-poverty banquet game. It strikes me, once again, that I am very lucky, that I am very blessed. Even the beneficiaries I am working for now are admittedly blessed enough. The tale of a guy still continuing to live as a freelance graphic designer (he moved his mouse with his feet and typed with a pencil on his mouth) and the tale of the visually handicapped still having the courage to live -- while people with faculties intact get stressed and undergo suicide. Exposed to the sufferings of the world, I am reminded of equanimity: Suffering is inevitable as long as there is life. After taking a calm approach, you actually realize that you can MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Even a SMALL one. This is again, why I do community service. Making people's life slightly happier, one person at a time,with these two hands and a smile. Go Interact Club! (:
Well, the hidden room at the back of blue room was quite fun, as we terrified a few girls by leaving them in a pitch darkness and delivering a "special surprise" but what was more fun was the truth or dare session we played as we go out for dinner :D (oh, the shoot, shag, and marry was kinda awkward, but the dare played with the random chio girls hanging out at J8 was quite fun :D) Anyway, about one third of us stayed past 10pm.. leading to an intimate sharing session ;)
Finally, I told a good friend of mine whom I trusted that I don't like her anymore. But I told him her name and that I used to like her (this is disputable, but still). I guess the courage to talk of those kind of things really solidifies the fact that I gotten over her (or never actually fell for her).
Ultimate lesson learned: You have nothing to lose -- nothing to be afraid of. You don't need to be scared, the world is more forgiving than you think. Do it, just learn from it, let it out of your system, and move on from there. Let nothing, and nothing hold you back.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS: Sorry for rambling -- am racing against the clock to bathe and to sleep. And today's events strengthened the hunch I had back then -- that suprisingly good things pop up my way, without even a slight effort or planning on my part. Hmm. Let's take a look further..
I woke up at seven, ate my favorite breakfast at boarding (loh mai kai and chasau biscuits), drank coffee, and headed straight to Punggol. Having reached there early, I took the LRT for fun and went one whole loop to witness "Punggol New Town". The first few stops of the LRT were quite dramatic -- the relatively undeveloped area looked nothing like Singapore. It had the classic rustic feel of an old town in a Final Fantasy game, its LRT stations reminding me of the trains that exist in my childhood game. However, the other half had a Woodland feel. As I learned later, the area used to be a forested haven -- now it is laden with HDB flats higher than Toa Payoh and Bishan's. As I see Woodlands, I can vividly imagine the more untouched part of Punggol being urbanized -- giving the New Town a factory line feel. And I'm afraid that Bukit Brown might suffer from the inescapable doom; it's just the question of when.
Frankly speaking, does anyone care? To be precise, anyone in Singapore? Not having anywhere pristine, authentic, untouched, and instead live in efficient and mass-produced environment. Not criticizing them though, as I admire practical people as well who does not really complain about their surroundings but instead choose to live on. This issue was part of the cause I went to Punggol in the first place; the bigger cause was my teacher's wishes :D Anyway, I have to admit, I learned a lot. Apart from shaking hands and learning how to smoke your way through a DPM, I also learned how to be shameless (basically, just convince yourself that you got nothing to lose, so nothing would stop you then), and also got to connect with some NParks people (they say he's the big shot.. I don't know) and the waterway people. Most importantly, I learned 'how to speak their lingo' -- a lesson in aligning interests -- leading me to three volunteering opportunities, a few name cards, and a resource sent through e-mail.
Enough narrative about what I learned -- I also had fun as I ate a sugar free ice cream. Yeah the ice cream tasted a bit bland but an ice cream is still an ice cream :D caught up with a few old friends -- glad to know they are doing well :) and spammed milo at the milo truck! Heheh felt bad but the milo was delish :D
Anyway, I rushed back to school to attend an Interact meeting and an Interact camp dry run. Pray, tell me that I did not get wet :D and I walked blindfolded from the 7th floor to the Gryphon Square :D Another important highlight would be the videos we watched for pre-poverty banquet game. It strikes me, once again, that I am very lucky, that I am very blessed. Even the beneficiaries I am working for now are admittedly blessed enough. The tale of a guy still continuing to live as a freelance graphic designer (he moved his mouse with his feet and typed with a pencil on his mouth) and the tale of the visually handicapped still having the courage to live -- while people with faculties intact get stressed and undergo suicide. Exposed to the sufferings of the world, I am reminded of equanimity: Suffering is inevitable as long as there is life. After taking a calm approach, you actually realize that you can MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Even a SMALL one. This is again, why I do community service. Making people's life slightly happier, one person at a time,with these two hands and a smile. Go Interact Club! (:
Well, the hidden room at the back of blue room was quite fun, as we terrified a few girls by leaving them in a pitch darkness and delivering a "special surprise" but what was more fun was the truth or dare session we played as we go out for dinner :D (oh, the shoot, shag, and marry was kinda awkward, but the dare played with the random chio girls hanging out at J8 was quite fun :D) Anyway, about one third of us stayed past 10pm.. leading to an intimate sharing session ;)
Finally, I told a good friend of mine whom I trusted that I don't like her anymore. But I told him her name and that I used to like her (this is disputable, but still). I guess the courage to talk of those kind of things really solidifies the fact that I gotten over her (or never actually fell for her).
Ultimate lesson learned: You have nothing to lose -- nothing to be afraid of. You don't need to be scared, the world is more forgiving than you think. Do it, just learn from it, let it out of your system, and move on from there. Let nothing, and nothing hold you back.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS: Sorry for rambling -- am racing against the clock to bathe and to sleep. And today's events strengthened the hunch I had back then -- that suprisingly good things pop up my way, without even a slight effort or planning on my part. Hmm. Let's take a look further..
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Day 138 - Asymptote
Egad. It's been a while since I post D:
Anyway, I remember that my Boarding Master once said that Junior College is the time to push yourself and stretch yourself to your maximum limits (if you have any at the first place). Yesterday can be an epitome to such stretching: Slept for 4.5 hours, abstained from eating solid food for 33 hours, ran 5km and forced 30 assisted pull-ups amid the hunger pangs. Surprisingly, I survived! I wasn't that cranky (I hope) as I still forced myself to help interviewing my juniors, to deliver a speech for Gavel, and even to tutor some underprivileged children well into the nightfall (:
Why am I pushing myself so far? What keeps me going? Frankly speaking, I have no idea. I felt very tired today, and opted to slack around browsing through random websites; putting off my homework for tomorrow. Then, my boarding master came knocking, inspecting our room cleanliness. He decided that our bathroom condition was unacceptable --- thus I spent 15 minutes brushing and washing the cubicle. That good fifteen minutes sparked something inside me, something that I really don't understand. I just did it without complaining, without thinking about it, and --- wait for it --- I had motivation to do my homework afterwards :D That's why I have the time to update my blog now :) Anyway I guess what I've read before is true: The hardest part in anything is to fathom about it.
Let me end with a bold aspiration: Shall these two hands bring glory to my country.
and let me ask myself often --- Will whatever I am doing get me closer to my aspiration?
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Anyway, I remember that my Boarding Master once said that Junior College is the time to push yourself and stretch yourself to your maximum limits (if you have any at the first place). Yesterday can be an epitome to such stretching: Slept for 4.5 hours, abstained from eating solid food for 33 hours, ran 5km and forced 30 assisted pull-ups amid the hunger pangs. Surprisingly, I survived! I wasn't that cranky (I hope) as I still forced myself to help interviewing my juniors, to deliver a speech for Gavel, and even to tutor some underprivileged children well into the nightfall (:
Why am I pushing myself so far? What keeps me going? Frankly speaking, I have no idea. I felt very tired today, and opted to slack around browsing through random websites; putting off my homework for tomorrow. Then, my boarding master came knocking, inspecting our room cleanliness. He decided that our bathroom condition was unacceptable --- thus I spent 15 minutes brushing and washing the cubicle. That good fifteen minutes sparked something inside me, something that I really don't understand. I just did it without complaining, without thinking about it, and --- wait for it --- I had motivation to do my homework afterwards :D That's why I have the time to update my blog now :) Anyway I guess what I've read before is true: The hardest part in anything is to fathom about it.
Let me end with a bold aspiration: Shall these two hands bring glory to my country.
and let me ask myself often --- Will whatever I am doing get me closer to my aspiration?
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Friday, 10 February 2012
Day 125 - Expressway
Today I suggested my friend to cross an expressway to save time.
But the expressway I'd like to touch upon is the expressway that links two extremely different worlds. I am a believer and a proponent of the nurture world, everything around me makes who I am now. (who am I? now that's a different question altogether.) Hence, I believe strongly that, whatever I take, I must give back. Presently, I'm doing so through the world of community service.
Along the way, however, I sometimes stumble and ask myself:
"Am I really doing the right thing?"
That is the most fundamental question a person doing community service must ask. Just yesterday I somehow ended up in a car with a stranger who works as a physiologist, and her words struck me:
"To you she is just an old lady. Remember, she is somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, somebody's mother, somebody's grandmother, and somebody's beloved. What would you do if she is YOUR grandma?"
Her words truly echoed in my head as I was tutoring the children today. They were being disobedient, impolite, quarrelsome, and chaotic. Casting away my anger and irritation and impatience, I thought to myself:
"They are somebody's children."
All those negative feelings vanished. This is how one cares, and this is how love develops.
The much-debated question in the service world is whether we should follow the demands of the beneficiaries, or whether we should impose on them what we think is good for them. Who are we, the State? Does the State know the best for every single of her citizens? Should we decide what's the best for them? Or should we bring them happiness, which is our ultimate goal of doing the community work. Or is it?
I shall not impose any answers on the readers, allow me to offer another school of thought (which is not a direct contrast to the initial one) and two case studies.
The question pops up in my mind after the elderly in my service center complained about them not getting to play Bingo. They told us that it is pointless to force the elderly to play other games as they just want to have fun, and the other games are at best not enjoyable and at worst are irritating. However, the service center manager insisted on forsaking Bingo as she believes that Bingo does not encourage the elderly to be active. The game just gets too repetitive and neither trains the elderly's physical health nor their mental health. Who should have the say? Who should we obey?
The school of thought I was referring to is offered by one of the speakers from a panel I attended in Hwa Chong Giving for Good Symposium. The speaker believes that the purpose of community service is, paradoxically it may seem, to eliminate the community service itself. In short, to teach the man how to fish. In other words, to make sure that the beneficiaries "graduate" and break the vicious cycle by helping themselves. The process is not easy --- take a look at Africa. The number of social worker groups and helps given are increasing instead of decreasing. Are we really doing a good thing?
The steps taken to direct the beneficiaries are not easy as they require a lot of effort in the beneficiaries' part. This means that we might be forced to sacrifice their happiness as we aspire to make them independent of our help, something which might never happen. So should we try? Should we force our ideals? Should we clash, conflict, and make them unhappy, in a vague dream and hope to make them independent?
The second case study is located in Africa. A particular tribe has a tradition to drown their babies on certain months, as the babies born then are deemed to bring disaster to the tribe. So at certain months, the river nearby the tribe would be full of babies being drowned. It is their culture, and to them, it is perfectly ethical. Should we impose our ideals and stop them? Who are we to tell them that what they are doing is an atrocious cruelty? Why should they listen to us? Won't we, in the process of reforming them, destroy a part of their culture? Is humanity more important than culture? Are lives more important than cultural preservation, more important than societal cohesion?
I highly doubt that I would get part of the correct answers by the time I lie on my deathbed. However, the expressway has taken you through my world of community service and social work, and as I continue to build this expressway, I hope I am one step closer to these truths.
On the other exit, my expressway leads to a personal circumstance hypothesis: I achieve great things with little or no effort at all. Allow me to sit down on this hypothesis, and let us examine if this is the case.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
But the expressway I'd like to touch upon is the expressway that links two extremely different worlds. I am a believer and a proponent of the nurture world, everything around me makes who I am now. (who am I? now that's a different question altogether.) Hence, I believe strongly that, whatever I take, I must give back. Presently, I'm doing so through the world of community service.
Along the way, however, I sometimes stumble and ask myself:
"Am I really doing the right thing?"
That is the most fundamental question a person doing community service must ask. Just yesterday I somehow ended up in a car with a stranger who works as a physiologist, and her words struck me:
"To you she is just an old lady. Remember, she is somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, somebody's mother, somebody's grandmother, and somebody's beloved. What would you do if she is YOUR grandma?"
Her words truly echoed in my head as I was tutoring the children today. They were being disobedient, impolite, quarrelsome, and chaotic. Casting away my anger and irritation and impatience, I thought to myself:
"They are somebody's children."
All those negative feelings vanished. This is how one cares, and this is how love develops.
The much-debated question in the service world is whether we should follow the demands of the beneficiaries, or whether we should impose on them what we think is good for them. Who are we, the State? Does the State know the best for every single of her citizens? Should we decide what's the best for them? Or should we bring them happiness, which is our ultimate goal of doing the community work. Or is it?
I shall not impose any answers on the readers, allow me to offer another school of thought (which is not a direct contrast to the initial one) and two case studies.
The question pops up in my mind after the elderly in my service center complained about them not getting to play Bingo. They told us that it is pointless to force the elderly to play other games as they just want to have fun, and the other games are at best not enjoyable and at worst are irritating. However, the service center manager insisted on forsaking Bingo as she believes that Bingo does not encourage the elderly to be active. The game just gets too repetitive and neither trains the elderly's physical health nor their mental health. Who should have the say? Who should we obey?
The school of thought I was referring to is offered by one of the speakers from a panel I attended in Hwa Chong Giving for Good Symposium. The speaker believes that the purpose of community service is, paradoxically it may seem, to eliminate the community service itself. In short, to teach the man how to fish. In other words, to make sure that the beneficiaries "graduate" and break the vicious cycle by helping themselves. The process is not easy --- take a look at Africa. The number of social worker groups and helps given are increasing instead of decreasing. Are we really doing a good thing?
The steps taken to direct the beneficiaries are not easy as they require a lot of effort in the beneficiaries' part. This means that we might be forced to sacrifice their happiness as we aspire to make them independent of our help, something which might never happen. So should we try? Should we force our ideals? Should we clash, conflict, and make them unhappy, in a vague dream and hope to make them independent?
The second case study is located in Africa. A particular tribe has a tradition to drown their babies on certain months, as the babies born then are deemed to bring disaster to the tribe. So at certain months, the river nearby the tribe would be full of babies being drowned. It is their culture, and to them, it is perfectly ethical. Should we impose our ideals and stop them? Who are we to tell them that what they are doing is an atrocious cruelty? Why should they listen to us? Won't we, in the process of reforming them, destroy a part of their culture? Is humanity more important than culture? Are lives more important than cultural preservation, more important than societal cohesion?
I highly doubt that I would get part of the correct answers by the time I lie on my deathbed. However, the expressway has taken you through my world of community service and social work, and as I continue to build this expressway, I hope I am one step closer to these truths.
On the other exit, my expressway leads to a personal circumstance hypothesis: I achieve great things with little or no effort at all. Allow me to sit down on this hypothesis, and let us examine if this is the case.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Friday, 3 February 2012
Day 118 - Ooooorientation
Phew, orientation is done and over with.
I joked around that I felt like crying not because orientation has ended, but because I'd have to do all my homework and CCA stuff afterwards. There is a lot to catch up D':
Notwithstanding, orientation had been a great experience. I was talking to my fellow MT03 OGLs about how joining the Orientation Team and becoming an Orientation Group Leader was primarily to challenge myself. It was quite a challenge, indeed. I remember, exactly a year and four days ago I was a lost sheep in Raffles, having little friends and still grieving over MOE's rejection of my SJII scholarship. Now, I am blogging as an OGL who (hopefully) made orientation a fun time for the new J1s!
Whatever I write down here will not do justice to describe the awesomeness of my experience in orientation. Yet, I feel that I MUST write down something, for this is definitely an important milestone in my journey in Raffles. So, here it goes!
There are lots of things I learned from being an OGL. One of them is the fact that joy and enthusiasm is contagious. Being a station master for this year's External Activity, I jumped around and explained the game with zeal, and to my delight, the OGs playing caught the fever and cheered harder and harder :,) Another thing I experienced is not to take things too seriously but to stay mature at the same time --- I encourage my OGlings to stay enthusiastic, to play hard, but to have fun above all else. I learned to not take offense from the J1's rudeness, jest, or impunity, but instead approached them and "calibrated" them in a light-hearted manner :) I learned to talk to strangers, and above all else, to acquiesce to the fact that I know very little people, and start building my repertoire of friends from scratch :)
Apart from the serious stuff, I am thankful for the sexy shirt my OGlings gave me, which comprises of a white shirt with abs and packs drawn over it, plus a kiss mark on the chest ;) And I am freaking broke! I had exactly 80 cents on my wallet on Thursday, and I had around 16 bucks on Friday evening after paying for the Pizza! D: I fell victim for the OGlings nasty pick-up lines (which gave me, more than anything, a whatthefuu look on my face) to get my handphone number for EA. I enjoy the weird look other people gave me when I spiritedly cheered for other houses (HH's Hutalu is my favorite, followed by BW's Anone), and I really love the weather forecast and dancing to the retarded Speedy Gonzales song. The irony when it turned out that rain only came during the EA day, precisely when we are expecting a sunny day D: and the awesome feeling of hoboing around in MPH after every debrief hehehe. Eating fast food four days in a row, and running while eating two slices of sandwiched domino's pizza to catch curfew. These snippets of moments I shall hold dear.
As a closing story, allow me to share the tale of my EA day. I have to say all the preparation and effort put in EA was worth it, despite the rain that came cancelling the second game :( I am lucky to have a certain girl as my partner, while initially I was disappointed of having her instead of another one ;) She's really awesome, being decisive when needed, and paying a great attention to minute details. The rain added another colour to our interaction. As I woke up late on that day, I forgot to bring an umbrella, and when we were walking to Bishan Active from Caldecott (since we changed stations) I told her that I didn't need one. Subsequently, she also told me that she did not need the umbrella and folded it. I grabbed the umbrella and insisted on trying to cover her from the rain, but she scolded me for doing so as she claimed that she was "drying" the umbrella. Hence both of us ended walking in the rain, and rendering the umbrella she brought useless. HAHAHA ladies these days.
The Indonesia's Finest
Post Mortem: Hmm. Valentine's day is coming. Should I buy a chocolate or two? hee hee :D
I joked around that I felt like crying not because orientation has ended, but because I'd have to do all my homework and CCA stuff afterwards. There is a lot to catch up D':
Notwithstanding, orientation had been a great experience. I was talking to my fellow MT03 OGLs about how joining the Orientation Team and becoming an Orientation Group Leader was primarily to challenge myself. It was quite a challenge, indeed. I remember, exactly a year and four days ago I was a lost sheep in Raffles, having little friends and still grieving over MOE's rejection of my SJII scholarship. Now, I am blogging as an OGL who (hopefully) made orientation a fun time for the new J1s!
Whatever I write down here will not do justice to describe the awesomeness of my experience in orientation. Yet, I feel that I MUST write down something, for this is definitely an important milestone in my journey in Raffles. So, here it goes!
There are lots of things I learned from being an OGL. One of them is the fact that joy and enthusiasm is contagious. Being a station master for this year's External Activity, I jumped around and explained the game with zeal, and to my delight, the OGs playing caught the fever and cheered harder and harder :,) Another thing I experienced is not to take things too seriously but to stay mature at the same time --- I encourage my OGlings to stay enthusiastic, to play hard, but to have fun above all else. I learned to not take offense from the J1's rudeness, jest, or impunity, but instead approached them and "calibrated" them in a light-hearted manner :) I learned to talk to strangers, and above all else, to acquiesce to the fact that I know very little people, and start building my repertoire of friends from scratch :)
Apart from the serious stuff, I am thankful for the sexy shirt my OGlings gave me, which comprises of a white shirt with abs and packs drawn over it, plus a kiss mark on the chest ;) And I am freaking broke! I had exactly 80 cents on my wallet on Thursday, and I had around 16 bucks on Friday evening after paying for the Pizza! D: I fell victim for the OGlings nasty pick-up lines (which gave me, more than anything, a whatthefuu look on my face) to get my handphone number for EA. I enjoy the weird look other people gave me when I spiritedly cheered for other houses (HH's Hutalu is my favorite, followed by BW's Anone), and I really love the weather forecast and dancing to the retarded Speedy Gonzales song. The irony when it turned out that rain only came during the EA day, precisely when we are expecting a sunny day D: and the awesome feeling of hoboing around in MPH after every debrief hehehe. Eating fast food four days in a row, and running while eating two slices of sandwiched domino's pizza to catch curfew. These snippets of moments I shall hold dear.
As a closing story, allow me to share the tale of my EA day. I have to say all the preparation and effort put in EA was worth it, despite the rain that came cancelling the second game :( I am lucky to have a certain girl as my partner, while initially I was disappointed of having her instead of another one ;) She's really awesome, being decisive when needed, and paying a great attention to minute details. The rain added another colour to our interaction. As I woke up late on that day, I forgot to bring an umbrella, and when we were walking to Bishan Active from Caldecott (since we changed stations) I told her that I didn't need one. Subsequently, she also told me that she did not need the umbrella and folded it. I grabbed the umbrella and insisted on trying to cover her from the rain, but she scolded me for doing so as she claimed that she was "drying" the umbrella. Hence both of us ended walking in the rain, and rendering the umbrella she brought useless. HAHAHA ladies these days.
The Indonesia's Finest
Post Mortem: Hmm. Valentine's day is coming. Should I buy a chocolate or two? hee hee :D
Sunday, 22 January 2012
Surabaya Day 1 - Sidodadian Heights
A big tree can only stand firm when it is supported by strong roots.
I returned to Surabaya for a brief reprieve. The timeless, rustic feel does not change the slightest.. Even though the mansion and the lord is getting older and wearier, the 'spirit' still lies here. I must forewarn you: These are not happy memories. I remember that I used to complain incessantly of having to celebrate my lunar new year in this city every time. An hour flight away, I had to leave the comfort of the closer half of my family, and celebrate the auspicious event with the other half. Things are perpetually turbulent, thus I was considerably delighted that only a trifle of quarrel broke out this year.
As I ascended the mansion's heights, however, I began to feel at peace. Gazing at the slums beneath, I reflected on my earlier encounter when I yielded to my anger and yelled at the snotty and racist airport staff. I guess I am far from who I want to be, but I must say that I am thankful for experiencing the test. I sort of believed that the nature and the universe conspired to provoke me in that scenario, and even though I failed this time round, the examination had made me a better student.
I pray.. and I pray.. that I will become a better man. A man worthy of living up his name. My Chinese name sort of translates to: "he who makes his ancestors proud", while my Indonesian name comprises of my Grandad's name (from Mom's), my Dad's, and my other grandad's (from Dad's). Three great men. Such big shoes to fill.. So, a new year, a fresh start. Happy Chinese New Year (: May the dragons side with us.
And thank you for the big examination exactly the day before..
The experiences I have been through in this place, the memories, the anger, the frustration, and the sadness are definitely not pleasant. However, they make me who I am today, they are my roots. A day will come when all my ties with this place will be cut off, (my grandpa is the only reason I visit this city once a year) but no one can snatch these memories away from me.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Monday, 16 January 2012
Day 99 - Bowing Down
2012 is a year I intend to acquiesce. To give up, to forgive, to withdraw. To the imminent alacrity of the upcoming major examinations and the fast-paced side activities.
I frequently catch my mind wandering, however, to my significantly relaxed past, or to the possibility of living up to the typical 'Indonesian teenager dream' - A life saturated with time-wasting activities: Hanging out in malls, having interesting conversations, and driving throughout Jakarta while enjoying the night lights. Now I am a typical Singaporean good boy - doing all my homework diligently, drowning myself in a multitude of tasks and projects, and abiding by a perfect conduct of behavior.
I frequently catch my mind wandering, however, to my significantly relaxed past, or to the possibility of living up to the typical 'Indonesian teenager dream' - A life saturated with time-wasting activities: Hanging out in malls, having interesting conversations, and driving throughout Jakarta while enjoying the night lights. Now I am a typical Singaporean good boy - doing all my homework diligently, drowning myself in a multitude of tasks and projects, and abiding by a perfect conduct of behavior.
My cousin being a PR here, Singapore was the main destination for my childhood holidays. Those were really fond memories: Eating good food, chilling and playing with my relatives, away from Indonesia's timeless traffic congestion and toxic pollution. I was very (and now still) fat! So I was very terrified of the prospect of studying in Singapore for three reasons: 1. Compulsory fitness program (my cousins told horror stories about tough clubs) 2. Learning Mandarin (back then I thought that everything here was taught in Chinese) 3. Generally stressful levels experienced by my cousins studying here!
Many apologies, but now I see Singapore in a significantly different light. After studying here myself, I discovered that numbers 1 and 2 do not really matter, but number 3 really does. It's just the air here, I reckon. By the time I got back to Singapore from Batam when my holidays ended, I felt very restless, and my parents immediately pointed it out. (It was 29th of December 2011, I still had a week of holidays ahead of me before the school would have started)... Well, it's a country where a pregnant lady walks faster than (a typical) Indonesian scholar, hehehe
So now I officially declare that I give up. I surrender. I put my hands up. The typical Indonesian teenager dream will never happen. But at least, along with that, I am parting with my naivety, with my vanity, and with my useless stresses and pressures. So allow me to embrace the year ahead, with quiet confidence, and with peacefulness.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS: Haha I used to find the Singaporean girls' uniforms very funny, akin to what the nurses wear. Now I know that it goes by the name of pinafore :D My Indonesian female friends brand these pinafores as blouses for pregnant ladies LOL
Many apologies, but now I see Singapore in a significantly different light. After studying here myself, I discovered that numbers 1 and 2 do not really matter, but number 3 really does. It's just the air here, I reckon. By the time I got back to Singapore from Batam when my holidays ended, I felt very restless, and my parents immediately pointed it out. (It was 29th of December 2011, I still had a week of holidays ahead of me before the school would have started)... Well, it's a country where a pregnant lady walks faster than (a typical) Indonesian scholar, hehehe
So now I officially declare that I give up. I surrender. I put my hands up. The typical Indonesian teenager dream will never happen. But at least, along with that, I am parting with my naivety, with my vanity, and with my useless stresses and pressures. So allow me to embrace the year ahead, with quiet confidence, and with peacefulness.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
PS: Haha I used to find the Singaporean girls' uniforms very funny, akin to what the nurses wear. Now I know that it goes by the name of pinafore :D My Indonesian female friends brand these pinafores as blouses for pregnant ladies LOL
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