Today I suggested my friend to cross an expressway to save time.
But the expressway I'd like to touch upon is the expressway that links two extremely different worlds. I am a believer and a proponent of the nurture world, everything around me makes who I am now. (who am I? now that's a different question altogether.) Hence, I believe strongly that, whatever I take, I must give back. Presently, I'm doing so through the world of community service.
Along the way, however, I sometimes stumble and ask myself:
"Am I really doing the right thing?"
That is the most fundamental question a person doing community service must ask. Just yesterday I somehow ended up in a car with a stranger who works as a physiologist, and her words struck me:
"To you she is just an old lady. Remember, she is somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, somebody's mother, somebody's grandmother, and somebody's beloved. What would you do if she is YOUR grandma?"
Her words truly echoed in my head as I was tutoring the children today. They were being disobedient, impolite, quarrelsome, and chaotic. Casting away my anger and irritation and impatience, I thought to myself:
"They are somebody's children."
All those negative feelings vanished. This is how one cares, and this is how love develops.
The much-debated question in the service world is whether we should follow the demands of the beneficiaries, or whether we should impose on them what we think is good for them. Who are we, the State? Does the State know the best for every single of her citizens? Should we decide what's the best for them? Or should we bring them happiness, which is our ultimate goal of doing the community work. Or is it?
I shall not impose any answers on the readers, allow me to offer another school of thought (which is not a direct contrast to the initial one) and two case studies.
The question pops up in my mind after the elderly in my service center complained about them not getting to play Bingo. They told us that it is pointless to force the elderly to play other games as they just want to have fun, and the other games are at best not enjoyable and at worst are irritating. However, the service center manager insisted on forsaking Bingo as she believes that Bingo does not encourage the elderly to be active. The game just gets too repetitive and neither trains the elderly's physical health nor their mental health. Who should have the say? Who should we obey?
The school of thought I was referring to is offered by one of the speakers from a panel I attended in Hwa Chong Giving for Good Symposium. The speaker believes that the purpose of community service is, paradoxically it may seem, to eliminate the community service itself. In short, to teach the man how to fish. In other words, to make sure that the beneficiaries "graduate" and break the vicious cycle by helping themselves. The process is not easy --- take a look at Africa. The number of social worker groups and helps given are increasing instead of decreasing. Are we really doing a good thing?
The steps taken to direct the beneficiaries are not easy as they require a lot of effort in the beneficiaries' part. This means that we might be forced to sacrifice their happiness as we aspire to make them independent of our help, something which might never happen. So should we try? Should we force our ideals? Should we clash, conflict, and make them unhappy, in a vague dream and hope to make them independent?
The second case study is located in Africa. A particular tribe has a tradition to drown their babies on certain months, as the babies born then are deemed to bring disaster to the tribe. So at certain months, the river nearby the tribe would be full of babies being drowned. It is their culture, and to them, it is perfectly ethical. Should we impose our ideals and stop them? Who are we to tell them that what they are doing is an atrocious cruelty? Why should they listen to us? Won't we, in the process of reforming them, destroy a part of their culture? Is humanity more important than culture? Are lives more important than cultural preservation, more important than societal cohesion?
I highly doubt that I would get part of the correct answers by the time I lie on my deathbed. However, the expressway has taken you through my world of community service and social work, and as I continue to build this expressway, I hope I am one step closer to these truths.
On the other exit, my expressway leads to a personal circumstance hypothesis: I achieve great things with little or no effort at all. Allow me to sit down on this hypothesis, and let us examine if this is the case.
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
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