of Late Nights, Bitter Teas, and Chiobus

The President's words rang true: Amherst College is one of the few institutions which forces us to work hard. Although I take pride in myself as a 'bloody mugger', Singlish for a student who tend to over study, I must admit that here I frequently find other people being way more hardworking than I am.

I go by five and a half or six hours of sleep on weekdays (plus occasional naps) and up to seven or eight hours in the weekends; and I count myself fortunate. I have friends who constantly have three hours or less, and who always seem to be sleeping at the common room's sofas instead of their room, the former which they claim to be more comfortable.

I haven't pulled an all-nighter throughout my career at Amherst College, and I hope I can stay that way. Nonetheless, I find an interesting pattern: There is a chance that I end up with less sleep in the weekends than in the weekdays. Why, you ask? To stay up and party, of course! (not).

I would sit down in the common room, brew a cup of bitter tea, and sip it slowly as a pretext to stay awake. I would then partake in conversations to get to know my dorm-mates, a chiobu in particular, better.

Not anymore though,  the chiobu was taken.

Well, I was sad, and then I talked to a Singaporean senior about it. His words made the quote of my day: "you dei, keep your hormones in check la!"

I heeded his advice, felt so much better, and lost the incentive to stay up late. Now I enjoy better quality sleep;)

And I made a pledge to myself: "Untuk menjadi seorang manusia yang sempurna jiwa dan raganya"

Sorry, it's kinda hard to translate as I made it in Bahasa. Go ahead and google translate it, though I doubt the original meaning will be captured..

A random thought worth noting passed by: I wasn't that close, on a personal level, with my Indonesian friends in Raffles Institution Boarding. (Among the nine, I am best friends with two to three of them) Nonetheless, their collective presence, the community they manifest, is very amazing, is something I long for. I hope it dies hard.

Yours Truly,

The Indonesia's Finest

Departure

I, not once, twice, or thrice, wrote about you.

I breathe, live, think, speak, act, be, upon you.

If time is an eternity, My life is a mere minute.

I knew you for a few seconds, then.

But you touched me. You reached out your arm. You lit the candle in the darkness. You made me who I am today. You are my lighthouse guiding me through the stormy seas of life.

As a candle burns out, light too, shall succumb to the darkness. Nothing is permanent, at least in this sphere of life.

But I didn't expect it to happen so immediately.

Nonetheless, thank you for everything. I am sorry for any wrongs I have made. For any doubts I had, for any wrongs that I have said.

I know, we will meet again someday. If not in this lifetime, in the next lifetime, or in the next next one.

I look forward to meet you again, in eternity.

You, who changed my world.

You, who I am so lucky enough to meet with. Who garnered leaders of the world, who made the world a better one come tomorrow.

You, who I would follow to Kingdom come. But no,

All I can do now is to live in accordance to what You have taught me.

I shall embody you.

I hope I can make you proud, make you feel that you did not waste your time on me.

I shall have faith, confidence, and I shall depend on myself now.

I shall live, and set an example to others. I shall make them know the goodness of your thoughts, the owl of minerva we are after. I shall make the world better, all in your name.

Thank you once more. When you told me that we are friends, did you know how happy I was?

And have I told you that I love you?

I love you.

Yours Truly,

---
Gue berasa kayak nobita tanpa doraemon sekarang. Gapapa. udah saatnya maju berarti.

Selamat jalan dan selamat beristirahat, Mr BJ Eddy Soetyono. Terimakasih untuk segala galanya. Blog post ini saya dedikasikan untuk bapak. Semoga bapak bahagia, dan sampai jumpa lagi..

Idelusion

I need to be reminded often that what I perceive as a reality is nothing more than a KTV drama.

It is thus necessary for me to distinguish between the One voice and other noises which lead me astray.

It is akin to having to learn certain lessons without even being told what lessons they are, and no way to verify whether I am headed towards the wrong or the right direction.

Nonetheless, I imagine his reply would be: "Don't pass your judgement as to whether it is right or wrong. Such is being subjective. Just do it."

So, for now, I shall try to have faith, and carry on.

-Truly Indonesia's Finest

High

Because you don't know how I hid my tears as I ran along...

Of (the Geist's) Development

How do you know if you have actually improved or progressed over time?

I began asking these questions as I looked back to my old posts - History kinda repeated itself (Thus I am not of the Hegelian history) as in I some similar patterns repeating over and over. For instance, the drugging my American dorm-mates with Indomie Goreng, not quite a new concept.

I attended a talk by Stanley Morgan just now; which allowed me to kind of peer beyond my 'today' door. I am starting to see a pattern; why doesn't the hard work end? or it will never end? Shall I be thankful nonetheless that I get to work hard? Is life about working hard, or is there more to it? Am I of historical significance? Am I making progress as I destroy myself, as I 'hit the reset button' and 'cross the intersection' or am I taking something with me?

I am quite sure that the voice inside my head is becoming clearer each day, though. I am getting more adept at assigning the sources of these voices too, and to which I should pay heed. My reality creating mechanism is improving a lot as well; and the grasp of certain philosophy and principles allow me to wield them with ease. But nonetheless, I still need to remind myself very often.

Plus one, I am seeing the same patterns with vixens again. But this time, I am able to sort of transcend and attempt to stop myself, before I see history repeating itself again. Guess what, I went to Cambridge, MA, and met her again. It is really true, perhaps, that no man is truly free before he is free from the nature. But being free from the nature is meaningless if there is no reconciliation with her afterwards.

So I guess, in the midst of my jumbled-up thoughts, I realize something invaluable as I browse through this pile of writings. I am writing to no one, or to everyone, but more importantly, I am writing for my future self.

Hi future self, if you see this post, kindly remind yourself to check on the "spiritual" progress that you have made, based on the milestones your past selves have planted. Nonetheless, acceptance is key, and all will be well in the end.

Love you,
-Truly Indonesia's Finest.

ps hopefully my next posts are more narrative than abstract. which may not amount much to history but will be way more entertaining. ;)