Freesias before Roses (cont'd)

And so I did catch a dinner with her and gave her a cut Freesia. After telling me how beautiful it is, she gave it a whiff, and was marveled by how beautiful it smelled. And I did tell her how this flower was more known for its fragrance than its appearance, and I also asked her to find out the meaning of the flower. I... also told her that I never properly celebrated valentine's day, and it was on my checkbox to give a girl a flower on valentine's. And so I did!

We had Peruvian for dinner - she had a healthy dose of pisco sour and I had a huge helping of Peruvian red. It was really fun catching up with her, I listened about her new group she recently switched to at work, about her new apartment, about decluttering (which is high up there on my to-do list!) about her ex (I know, right?), and about her travels. I shared my stories about Indonesia and my case work and how I'm so fascinated/frustrated by analyst reports, and her take on it confirmed my nagging suspicions. hahaha. Frankly, she's a prime example of why online dating works, (or at least gives you a great friend), and she's the first, (and maybe the last?) of my online encounters. We'll see - I'm not terribly active at that space yet.

But anyways, I guess the question right now is, if there will ever be roses after the fresh cut of freesia. And frankly, I don't know! She's one of the sweetest, kind, and easygoing ladies I know in New York and I get really positive vibes hanging around her. It's just that... I'm not terribly physically attracted to her? (sure, even after a glass of red) I'm about 95% sure that my confidence is not misplaced - I'm very certain that if I ask her out romantically she'd be more than willing to, at the very least, to try it out. After all, the context that we're meeting each other/through is very clear, unlike to 99% of my other interactions with women (and that is rounding down heavily hahaha). But... just because I can, it doesn't mean I should. But she appreciates the smell of freesias. Hmm.

Well - I will say this much - in the past, and right now, (and in the future, too, I'm very certain), I meet ladies who are as kind and generous as she is, but who I'm happily attracted to. And god forbid, they do, occasionally, like me back too. Hahaha. I guess I'll relax for now and wait until that person comes along. And may she be as generous and kind and open-minded as this lady. And may this lady receive happiness, find love, and get over her ex hahaha because one does not drive forward while looking at the rear-view mirror all the time :)

Freesias before Roses

Once upon a time, there was a wise old man. He grew up living true to himself and believing in himself, and the time has come for him to pass along his wisdom. Despite being very wise and spiritual, he never abandoned his fancy side. He knew how to enjoy his life. And as such, in between his spiritual stories and tears of wisdom, he would introduce a young man to a high-quality way of living. One of them being the fragrance that he particularly enjoyed, that is, Jo Malone.

Once upon another time, that young man felt like learning the art of feng shui. After making tiny improvements, one and the other, he felt compelled to follow a romantic advice: Buy a bouquet of fresh cut roses, the redder the better, and then place them at a certain direction of his house. And he therefore did as such, one week after another, purchasing cut roses from the nearby grocers without fail.

As the young man wanted to become like the old man, he eventually decided to visit Jo Malone and purchase a perfume for himself. His favorite scent was English Pear and Freesia - but he told himself that he'd save it for his eventual significant other. Someone who he cares for and is precious for him, and someone who would wear the fragrance well.

"Too bad roses don't smell anywhere as nice as freesias," he thought to himself every time he buys his cut roses.

At a time, however, the grocer was pretty much out of roses, probably because Valentine's has just passed by. Thus whimsically, he decided to purchase a bundle of white freesias instead. As he looked up the meaning of freesias, he learned that freesias symbolize friendship and innocence. How fitting. He was meeting a woman for dinner at that night, and as a celebration for Valentine's, and in keeping with his intentions, he planned to give her a cut of freesia.

---

(to be continued)

Pretty Much Exclusively

Hi there!

I love you.

Now that we've gotten it out of the way, I'm doing very well, thank you very much :) I am enjoying this lacuna of busyness - with major deadlines coming up every two weeks, with weekend work having been strewn over the past couple and the foreseeable few weeks.

Writing this in my pajamas, right after my daily dose of gratitude and caffeine, in between sips of ripple (pea milk! tasty stuff, real hard to come by), and before my daily morning run. I was earlier super irritated at my cousin who has been crashing in my apartment for a while, but somehow a thought was offered to me, that said: "If the biggest problem in your life right now is only having a perfectly kind relative overextending your welcome, then you're in a very good shape."

And I am! Poof - it stopped becoming a thing.

Anyways, here are some highlights of the past few weeks since I came back to New York:

• Kevin Connors visited NY, got an amazing dinner and drinks with him and his friends, shared amazing stories about work, and heard amazing stories about JB lol
• Found an amazing online laundry app that saves me a lot of time, at a very very reasonable price
• Literally skipped two hours of work on a Saturday to play Pogo with Chris at Central Park. It was freezing and we haven't seen each other for forever and all we do is talk about pokemon but it's ok, it's awesome
• Decided against taking the CFA L2 for the time being. Pretty sure will be happy with this decision
• Got stupidly drunk with Liam and his friends at his birthday party. Had a blast. Bought him GoT limited-edition Johnny Walker whisky that looked super cool. Had amazing Chinese food for his birthday
• Updated my resume and just for the fun (and maybe profit?) spoke with couple recruiters who reached out. Became really inspired, like how I told Kevin: "It's like growing up ugly and suddenly being really attractive and suddenly having two to three girls talking to you wanting to get to know you better" hahahaha
• Got dinner with Jihong! And successfully explained to her the RMBS case I'm on right now. Fascinating how she was so fascinated by it, and how I managed to explain to her clearly
• But generally, have been working my a** off. Something very nice about it is the free lunches and dinners everyday. Also that my associates/managers are becoming very appreciative of my and my friends' contributions, and that the newer analysts are becoming super capable and reliable. And my bosses are much more flexible and understanding too. Yay!

I think my trip back to Indonesia helped, and definitely more so the spiritual wisdom/coaching/awakening/counsel. I feel genuinely braver, calmer, more content, more confident, more happy-go-lucky. As I told Kevin, whatever comes my way, I will be able to handle it! With grace and ease. I got this, I have faith in myself.

And yes, I set out to predominantly focus my attention on things that I love, that brings me happiness, that brings me joy. And yes, joy comes from growing, and growing comes from continued learning and diversity, which comes from having different experiences, continually challenging myself, taking risks, and allowing serendipity. And yes, as per Jerry Hicks' words, I strive to pretty much exclusively focus on things that I want. And if I do not know what I want, I easily and confidently ask to know what I want. May my continued focus and intention on joy allow me to immerse further and keep on enjoying this process :)

So for now, the intention is to understand the startup/combinator/fintech of New York better. To meet people who are passionate about what they're doing, and to have that spark rub off on me too. A similar goal to my vacation in Indonesia, to know what's going on and to talk to more people :)

And another last, bullet point, is that I have been keeping up a conversation with someone I really really adore. I am really enjoying getting to know her better, and I am really really grateful that she is in my life. Hehe :)

Cheers,