So I shall begin the post today, the fruits of my procrastination and inspiration, exploring the abstract concept of time. Millions have asked: what is time? Nevertheless, millions of millions take them for granted. Have you ever wondered, why is time linear? And if discrete dimensions exist, and they are described as "timeless" not following the linear sense, how do one measure progress in that dimension? I mean, you might think that you are progressing forward, but for all you know you may be going round a circular direction or even reversing backwards..
Nevertheless, I learned some important lessons today. Despite the nonlinear nature of ethereal time, it still takes time for a person to develop. The lesser and the greater beings coexist in this planar dimension, and I realize that at some point or another, the greater beings go through life as lesser beings too, hence the greater beings should feel happy despite all the unhappiness these lesser beings inflict upon them, for they are merely repaying what their predecessors lent them. Moreover, in the midst of questions, assumptions, and postulations as described in the former paragraph, it is definitely reassuring to know that progress is linear, and not re-set, despite the nonlinear characteristics of higher time.
Much apologies for the abstract and otherworldly concepts... If you don't get it, it is not the right time, yet.. Anyway, let's talk about more worldly ideas: My Ecological Literacy mentor highlighted a very interesting notion. We were discussing about our project, and she brought up the concept of "energy of creation", a process which she described as gaining an inflow of energy from your inner faculties and resources that acts as a drive when you create something, leading to a sense of satisfaction, and a further desire to create.
Putting it into my context, apart from human projects, happiness, love, and friendships, I love to create good memories. So around two years ago I was a graduating Staff Sergeant of a particular Uniformed Group in SJI, my beloved Alma Mater. After almost a year taking care of the sec 1 cadets, it was the time to say goodbye, and I didn't know what struck me but I believe it was really an inspired action.
The contingent was gathering in the grasspatch one last time under my batch's leadership. It was well into the evening, straight after the conclusion of our Annual Parade, which marks the official end of my UG career. Seeking to make a final impression, I pulled out a bag of chewing gums and gave each and everyone of my sec 1 cadets a packet each. Time has diluted my memory, but I recall saying something along the lines of: "the taste of these chewing gums will fade away as you chew on it. But don't let the spirit and the memory of our times together dissolve along with the taste."
And a few weeks back I came back to my Alma Mater for her Annual Parade. I witnessed the batch of sec 1 cadets I used to train taking over the leadership of the CCA, and I felt immensely proud as these young boys grow into men. I was talking to a new recruit, and he was telling me how the batch still remembers me and my chewing gum moment. I am immensely happy. :,) I confess I wasn't the best sergeant. Owing to the fact that English is my second language, I had immense difficulties scolding them in English! I don't know if they even understood what I was trying to put across! I also remember the times where I dreaded Fridays as it meant I would have to attend my CCA. I recalled how I told myself and others that this CCA is a complete bullshit.
But looking back, I grew as a person and into a man I am today through the hardships accrued through this CCA. However, I feel that it is even more fulfilling to witness the growth of the people you nurture. As you see the transformation, you feel that the missing piece of the puzzle is being fit to complete the whole picture. And trust me, these are good times, good memories, that I never regretted creating. And now, to create more of these. :)
Truly Indonesia's Finest
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Thursday, 26 July 2012
Day 8 - The Inner Flame
So honestly it is really interesting to see how things turn out :)
I'm really sorry that it's not a verbatim quote, but here goes: "There are always two voices speaking to you inside. Listen to the correct one." No, I am not really trying to quote my school principal. Believe me or not, someone else told me this, before I even heard my principal's address. And they're talking about different issues altogether.
Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this blog post to this particular friend of mine :) I know I am living a very comfortable life, but the body still has its own attachments. It's not really easy, and rather uncomfortable to try and address these challenges. I remember that I keep telling myself: "I need someone to reassure me! Someone to tell me that everything's going to be okay in the end. That I'm doing just fine, just great." I do found one in Indonesia, but unfortunately he's really difficult to meet.
Truth be told, I have this feeling that someday I'd be able to tell myself that and come out okay, but meanwhile I found another person! And that is my good friend haha. When I speak to her, it feels like a young child talking to his primary school teacher --- she is very reassuring and calm, yet she does not look down on me. Indeed, it is really different when you talk to a very developed person. I'd like to take this space and give thanks for the fact that our paths cross :)
So, back to the quote, how do you decide which is the correct one? It's hard. So? Try harder. Or don't try. The end result will be the same. There is a liquid-crystal like consciousness flowing inside you, sweetly whispering the inspirations that do not stem from your conscious thoughts. Of course, our emotions, worries, fears, anxieties, attachments, and reservations dilute the infusion of these pure streams. They serve as a distraction, drowning out the melodies of life until one cannot hear thyself. Hence try but stop trying. Do but stop doing. Desire but stop desiring. Only once everything reaches the state of equilibrium will you get closer to your inner wellspring.
Actually, the title of the post is somewhat misleading. Rather than characterizing it as fire, I'd prefer characterizing it as water, as an oasis in the middle of a sordid desert. But the eternal flame embodies our will to stay alive and our passion to learn, so I guess it retains a degree of significance and accuracy too.
The bottom line? Just carry on doing whatever you are doing. You are doing fine, you are doing great :) Be aware, and you'll be awesome. (laughs) the man who encouraged me also told me that I am one, or two, in two hundred and fifty million. I shall leave it to the readers to interpret the sentence; all I can say is that I am immensely happy and proud having heard it. A thought came up to me, however, that my journey will be a lonely one, as very few people would have developed thus far. And thankfully, at my present casing state, there are still a handful of more advanced people. This really easens up my burden. Good relief, I'm not alone..
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
I'm really sorry that it's not a verbatim quote, but here goes: "There are always two voices speaking to you inside. Listen to the correct one." No, I am not really trying to quote my school principal. Believe me or not, someone else told me this, before I even heard my principal's address. And they're talking about different issues altogether.
Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this blog post to this particular friend of mine :) I know I am living a very comfortable life, but the body still has its own attachments. It's not really easy, and rather uncomfortable to try and address these challenges. I remember that I keep telling myself: "I need someone to reassure me! Someone to tell me that everything's going to be okay in the end. That I'm doing just fine, just great." I do found one in Indonesia, but unfortunately he's really difficult to meet.
Truth be told, I have this feeling that someday I'd be able to tell myself that and come out okay, but meanwhile I found another person! And that is my good friend haha. When I speak to her, it feels like a young child talking to his primary school teacher --- she is very reassuring and calm, yet she does not look down on me. Indeed, it is really different when you talk to a very developed person. I'd like to take this space and give thanks for the fact that our paths cross :)
So, back to the quote, how do you decide which is the correct one? It's hard. So? Try harder. Or don't try. The end result will be the same. There is a liquid-crystal like consciousness flowing inside you, sweetly whispering the inspirations that do not stem from your conscious thoughts. Of course, our emotions, worries, fears, anxieties, attachments, and reservations dilute the infusion of these pure streams. They serve as a distraction, drowning out the melodies of life until one cannot hear thyself. Hence try but stop trying. Do but stop doing. Desire but stop desiring. Only once everything reaches the state of equilibrium will you get closer to your inner wellspring.
Actually, the title of the post is somewhat misleading. Rather than characterizing it as fire, I'd prefer characterizing it as water, as an oasis in the middle of a sordid desert. But the eternal flame embodies our will to stay alive and our passion to learn, so I guess it retains a degree of significance and accuracy too.
The bottom line? Just carry on doing whatever you are doing. You are doing fine, you are doing great :) Be aware, and you'll be awesome. (laughs) the man who encouraged me also told me that I am one, or two, in two hundred and fifty million. I shall leave it to the readers to interpret the sentence; all I can say is that I am immensely happy and proud having heard it. A thought came up to me, however, that my journey will be a lonely one, as very few people would have developed thus far. And thankfully, at my present casing state, there are still a handful of more advanced people. This really easens up my burden. Good relief, I'm not alone..
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
Friday, 20 July 2012
Day 2 - Circle of Life
Today is a great day.
I told myself.. So, this day has come, huh? I remember all the feelings and thoughts I had during last year's installation. I was still rather lost and trying to figure my way out while immersing in the Rafflesian life. I was sad, because installation meant that I would be parting ways with my favorite senior, the vice president of Raffles Interact Club..
I recall the days of how I joined interact, by a lot of coincidence. I first arrived to my present school 15 months ago, and as part of the requirement by MOE, I need to belong to a CCA. Didn't have much choice, considering that I am not built to compete or perform in front of an audience. Putting 'Interact Club' under my CCA was a pure coincidence; I could have put down 'Community Advocates', which actually gave me a better idea what the club was about.
What I understood was the fact that Interact Club was somehow related to doing CIP, and I thought, hey why not give a chance? So I went to the interview, knowing almost zero about the organization I am about to join and belong in for the two years. Neither I knew the fact that Interact Club has a very high rejection rate, with only 80 people accepted out of 300 or more people applying. And I got in by smoking through. :P
Anyway, as I write in my RD essays, Interact really defines my two years of JC life. As I sat down at LT 2 for my batch's installation today, I told myself: It has finally come to a full circle. To be honest, I am very sad that it has ended, as I made a lot of good friends, amazing moments, and lots of laughter. However, as my president was saying: "Don't cry because it is over. Be thankful that it happened."
Indeed, my Interact journey is a blessing. I am ever grateful for all the good things that happened to me, I'm now a different person altogether after alighting from the Interact ship. Of course, there were things that could have been better, stuff that should not have happened. Nevertheless, I figured out that I did my best, and I deserve the happy ending I worked so hard for. It is the simple but powerful realization that you have touched so many people's lives, and that you know there's a group of friend out there who love you and take care of you as a part of their family.
And a particular girl too. Or two. Or three. Hmm...
To end off, let me dollop with a statement that highlights the importance of Interact to me. Interactors do not win competitions. We do not bring back gold medals like the athletes, neither do we bring back the SYF gold like the performing arts groups, nor do we win international olympiads like the academics CCA. What we bring back to the school is, what we take pride in, what we serve for is --- the fact that we win the hearts of other people. And to me, that is more golden than any gold.
Thank you, Interact. As a circle does not have an end, I pray that the service journey shall be free from the boundaries and constraints of time..
-The Indonesia's Finest
I told myself.. So, this day has come, huh? I remember all the feelings and thoughts I had during last year's installation. I was still rather lost and trying to figure my way out while immersing in the Rafflesian life. I was sad, because installation meant that I would be parting ways with my favorite senior, the vice president of Raffles Interact Club..
I recall the days of how I joined interact, by a lot of coincidence. I first arrived to my present school 15 months ago, and as part of the requirement by MOE, I need to belong to a CCA. Didn't have much choice, considering that I am not built to compete or perform in front of an audience. Putting 'Interact Club' under my CCA was a pure coincidence; I could have put down 'Community Advocates', which actually gave me a better idea what the club was about.
What I understood was the fact that Interact Club was somehow related to doing CIP, and I thought, hey why not give a chance? So I went to the interview, knowing almost zero about the organization I am about to join and belong in for the two years. Neither I knew the fact that Interact Club has a very high rejection rate, with only 80 people accepted out of 300 or more people applying. And I got in by smoking through. :P
Anyway, as I write in my RD essays, Interact really defines my two years of JC life. As I sat down at LT 2 for my batch's installation today, I told myself: It has finally come to a full circle. To be honest, I am very sad that it has ended, as I made a lot of good friends, amazing moments, and lots of laughter. However, as my president was saying: "Don't cry because it is over. Be thankful that it happened."
Indeed, my Interact journey is a blessing. I am ever grateful for all the good things that happened to me, I'm now a different person altogether after alighting from the Interact ship. Of course, there were things that could have been better, stuff that should not have happened. Nevertheless, I figured out that I did my best, and I deserve the happy ending I worked so hard for. It is the simple but powerful realization that you have touched so many people's lives, and that you know there's a group of friend out there who love you and take care of you as a part of their family.
And a particular girl too. Or two. Or three. Hmm...
To end off, let me dollop with a statement that highlights the importance of Interact to me. Interactors do not win competitions. We do not bring back gold medals like the athletes, neither do we bring back the SYF gold like the performing arts groups, nor do we win international olympiads like the academics CCA. What we bring back to the school is, what we take pride in, what we serve for is --- the fact that we win the hearts of other people. And to me, that is more golden than any gold.
Thank you, Interact. As a circle does not have an end, I pray that the service journey shall be free from the boundaries and constraints of time..
-The Indonesia's Finest
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Day 1 - Project
Hi, today's generally a note to self, something insightful but not necessarily applicable to you all..
I am grateful, so grateful, eternally grateful, for the fact that I am able to effect a positive change in the lives of people around me. Some need me more than others, Some are more influenced than the rest.
Anyway, I have the privilege to try and mold the life of a particular girl I treasure. She faces a lot of conflicts, tough times, and challenges at her young age, and I am so glad that she opened up to me about her problems. It is good practice, too, when I realize that I am becoming a better mediator. I believe that she is a trial, or a 'project', for me to try whatever wisdom and inspirations I am being blessed with.
Moving on, I am so glad that she is progressing really well. She is starting to show more gratitude and positive thinking. More importantly, she is showing more kindness and forgiveness towards herself. As I notice that she is adopting a more optimistic outlook of her life, I become very relieved from the bottom of my heart. I thought: "oh hey, at least she's going to do alright. Thank goodness."
I feel that it is not coincidental for me to experience some tough times. For today I was able to relate to her problems; you can't really be a teacher if you have not worked through the problems first. The fact that she told me that she couldn't really find my character flaws is also funny. I am certain that I have my own character flaws, like the 2 bad bricks among 998 good bricks. However, I have difficulty seeing them as I learned how to forgive myself :) It is fine for me to have flaws, after all, at least I have something to work upon.
Now, I really have to be careful to not get too attached :) As someone who tries to be her strength, I should place zero expectations and attach no feelings or emotions but happiness towards her. Everything's going to be alright, and yeah thank you for the success of the project! I am much delighted. :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
I am grateful, so grateful, eternally grateful, for the fact that I am able to effect a positive change in the lives of people around me. Some need me more than others, Some are more influenced than the rest.
Anyway, I have the privilege to try and mold the life of a particular girl I treasure. She faces a lot of conflicts, tough times, and challenges at her young age, and I am so glad that she opened up to me about her problems. It is good practice, too, when I realize that I am becoming a better mediator. I believe that she is a trial, or a 'project', for me to try whatever wisdom and inspirations I am being blessed with.
Moving on, I am so glad that she is progressing really well. She is starting to show more gratitude and positive thinking. More importantly, she is showing more kindness and forgiveness towards herself. As I notice that she is adopting a more optimistic outlook of her life, I become very relieved from the bottom of my heart. I thought: "oh hey, at least she's going to do alright. Thank goodness."
I feel that it is not coincidental for me to experience some tough times. For today I was able to relate to her problems; you can't really be a teacher if you have not worked through the problems first. The fact that she told me that she couldn't really find my character flaws is also funny. I am certain that I have my own character flaws, like the 2 bad bricks among 998 good bricks. However, I have difficulty seeing them as I learned how to forgive myself :) It is fine for me to have flaws, after all, at least I have something to work upon.
Now, I really have to be careful to not get too attached :) As someone who tries to be her strength, I should place zero expectations and attach no feelings or emotions but happiness towards her. Everything's going to be alright, and yeah thank you for the success of the project! I am much delighted. :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Day XY - A Fresh Start
Meh, I thought I'd pick up this blog and start writing again. hahaha.
Oh, how times have changed. I am sitting in the middle of July, trying to wrap up whatever I have achieved and preparing for the daunting As ahead. While trying my best to slack in between and steal some laughter from thin air. Oh well, that's life!
Why the sudden continuation, you ask? Did I fall in love again? Perhaps, because to be honest, these streams of literature (which is hopefully slightly better than a piece of rubbish) may be sparked from my love affairs. But nope, I came to conclusion that the traces of memories I left behind turns out to be nuggets of gold for inspirations and ideas years ahead. (Not really all of them, some of them are complete crap, but really entertaining.)
Anyway, I was planning to ramble on about my casing's development and new insights, but since time is pressing and I have to embark for a dinner with my grandparents and my dad and younger brother, I'll end off here. Cheers for a new start! :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
mhmm, so I wanted to add on but was too lazy to start a new post. Anyway just a few insights for the night and I'm off to bed.. hehe. Firstly, never underestimate the power of your thoughts, to be more exact, the power of positive thoughts, gratitude, and love. I've been experimenting with thoughts and feelings, and spooky (but real awesome) results sprung up. Thanked for slimmer body I lost 7kg. Thanked for money I received hundreds of dollars. Thanked for girls suddenly the particular girl I like asked me out for a drink. Thank you :)
Even stronger than thoughts are your feelings. I cannot really quantify how thoughts relate to your feelings; whether one is borne out of another or coexist from a same source. Yet I know feelings are hundreds, if not thousands times stronger than my thoughts, especially for an idealist optimist like me :) Anyway, I was reading this book by Ajahn Chah, he was talking about observations and all. So I decided to give it a shot, when a less than neutral (unfavourable) thoughts/feelings sprung up, I observed it instead of running away from it. And hey, guess what, doing so produces interesting results! With thoughts all jumbled up, (I) can't really describe the sensation (my body) experiences. Just that (I) feel it is much easier for (me) to detach from (my) thoughts. Notice the parentheses? Go figure. :)
There is no such thing as an impure mind. Impure thoughts cloud the mind, just as mud and sand suspend in murky water. The two exist independently, they are discrete, they are not borne out of another. Let the mud and sand settle, and you shall see the depth, the threshold, the true gauge, of your mind.
---
Oh, how times have changed. I am sitting in the middle of July, trying to wrap up whatever I have achieved and preparing for the daunting As ahead. While trying my best to slack in between and steal some laughter from thin air. Oh well, that's life!
Why the sudden continuation, you ask? Did I fall in love again? Perhaps, because to be honest, these streams of literature (which is hopefully slightly better than a piece of rubbish) may be sparked from my love affairs. But nope, I came to conclusion that the traces of memories I left behind turns out to be nuggets of gold for inspirations and ideas years ahead. (Not really all of them, some of them are complete crap, but really entertaining.)
Anyway, I was planning to ramble on about my casing's development and new insights, but since time is pressing and I have to embark for a dinner with my grandparents and my dad and younger brother, I'll end off here. Cheers for a new start! :)
-Truly Indonesia's Finest
mhmm, so I wanted to add on but was too lazy to start a new post. Anyway just a few insights for the night and I'm off to bed.. hehe. Firstly, never underestimate the power of your thoughts, to be more exact, the power of positive thoughts, gratitude, and love. I've been experimenting with thoughts and feelings, and spooky (but real awesome) results sprung up. Thanked for slimmer body I lost 7kg. Thanked for money I received hundreds of dollars. Thanked for girls suddenly the particular girl I like asked me out for a drink. Thank you :)
Even stronger than thoughts are your feelings. I cannot really quantify how thoughts relate to your feelings; whether one is borne out of another or coexist from a same source. Yet I know feelings are hundreds, if not thousands times stronger than my thoughts, especially for an idealist optimist like me :) Anyway, I was reading this book by Ajahn Chah, he was talking about observations and all. So I decided to give it a shot, when a less than neutral (unfavourable) thoughts/feelings sprung up, I observed it instead of running away from it. And hey, guess what, doing so produces interesting results! With thoughts all jumbled up, (I) can't really describe the sensation (my body) experiences. Just that (I) feel it is much easier for (me) to detach from (my) thoughts. Notice the parentheses? Go figure. :)
There is no such thing as an impure mind. Impure thoughts cloud the mind, just as mud and sand suspend in murky water. The two exist independently, they are discrete, they are not borne out of another. Let the mud and sand settle, and you shall see the depth, the threshold, the true gauge, of your mind.
---
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