So honestly it is really interesting to see how things turn out :)
I'm really sorry that it's not a verbatim quote, but here goes: "There are always two voices speaking to you inside. Listen to the correct one." No, I am not really trying to quote my school principal. Believe me or not, someone else told me this, before I even heard my principal's address. And they're talking about different issues altogether.
Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this blog post to this particular friend of mine :) I know I am living a very comfortable life, but the body still has its own attachments. It's not really easy, and rather uncomfortable to try and address these challenges. I remember that I keep telling myself: "I need someone to reassure me! Someone to tell me that everything's going to be okay in the end. That I'm doing just fine, just great." I do found one in Indonesia, but unfortunately he's really difficult to meet.
Truth be told, I have this feeling that someday I'd be able to tell myself that and come out okay, but meanwhile I found another person! And that is my good friend haha. When I speak to her, it feels like a young child talking to his primary school teacher --- she is very reassuring and calm, yet she does not look down on me. Indeed, it is really different when you talk to a very developed person. I'd like to take this space and give thanks for the fact that our paths cross :)
So, back to the quote, how do you decide which is the correct one? It's hard. So? Try harder. Or don't try. The end result will be the same. There is a liquid-crystal like consciousness flowing inside you, sweetly whispering the inspirations that do not stem from your conscious thoughts. Of course, our emotions, worries, fears, anxieties, attachments, and reservations dilute the infusion of these pure streams. They serve as a distraction, drowning out the melodies of life until one cannot hear thyself. Hence try but stop trying. Do but stop doing. Desire but stop desiring. Only once everything reaches the state of equilibrium will you get closer to your inner wellspring.
Actually, the title of the post is somewhat misleading. Rather than characterizing it as fire, I'd prefer characterizing it as water, as an oasis in the middle of a sordid desert. But the eternal flame embodies our will to stay alive and our passion to learn, so I guess it retains a degree of significance and accuracy too.
The bottom line? Just carry on doing whatever you are doing. You are doing fine, you are doing great :) Be aware, and you'll be awesome. (laughs) the man who encouraged me also told me that I am one, or two, in two hundred and fifty million. I shall leave it to the readers to interpret the sentence; all I can say is that I am immensely happy and proud having heard it. A thought came up to me, however, that my journey will be a lonely one, as very few people would have developed thus far. And thankfully, at my present casing state, there are still a handful of more advanced people. This really easens up my burden. Good relief, I'm not alone..
Truly Indonesia's Finest,
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