Surabaya

Ahh.. Some things never really change, do they?

I am born-and-bred a metropolitan boy, but my dad actually grew up in Surabaya, Indonesia's second largest city.. (which was unfortunately the city of origin of the recent Airasia plane incident.) I am lucky, very lucky, that my dad relented to my mom and moved to Jakarta before they had me.

I grew up having the privileges of living in a capital city, but at least once a year, during the Chinese New Year, I will have to be forced to go to Surabaya, to visit my paternal granddad and my dad's side of family. Surabaya is rustic, and rusty; I have never had good memories of visiting her. Surabaya was always filled with mosquitoes and poor bedding, with noisy cousins who speak Bahasa Indonesia with a weird accent. Family relations were full of tension at best; sometimes the fuse would blow up. I remember always dreading my visit there, and I always looked forward to go to the airport to fly back to Jakarta.

When it was my turn to study to the States, with it came with the right (and later it became a burden) to not go back home during Chinese New Year. It was a fair deal to me, in the beginning, at least. I called back home and wished them happy Chinese New Year, and it would save me the hassle of going to Surabaya and meeting extended relatives I barely know.

My grandpa then fell severely ill around two months back. It was suffice to say that he needed to be flown to Singapore in a chartered plane for an emergency procedure, and let's just say that the doctors pulled a miracle and gave him a second life.

I could never communicate properly with my grandpa. He immigrated to Surabaya from 厦门 in his teens, and went straight to work instead of going to school. As a result, he spoke a mixture of Bahasa, Javanese, 闽南话， and 普通话。Given the fact that I never understood 闽南话 and I only learned 普通话 two years ago, I am very pleased of myself if I can understand fifty percent of what my granddad is saying. Most of the time, though, the words that come out from his mouth seemed like gibberish, and if I'm lucky I my dad or my aunts would translate his words for me. If not, I would just nod politely, smile, and attempt to come up with something that was tangential to his questions and remarks.

My granddad isn't the easiest person to get along with, either. He isn't the most patient or polite of people; and he is very stubborn. There was some life decisions he made that his kids would never have condoned. I haven't been able to appreciate him up until this moment. It is a pity that such is human nature, only when you realize something is scarce and about to be taken away you start to value it. My grandpa's hard work was the reason I am living my life comfortably and travelling around the world right now. He survived on powdered milk, tap water, and 馒头s when he crossed the South China Sea to avoid persecution. He was open-minded (and wealthy) enough to send my dad to USA for his tertiary education. He named me 林耀宗，and thus the duty is on me to make his name fragrant. (I am his eldest inner grandson)

I remembered how, when I was small I stayed in Surabaya, I couldn't sleep well and went downstairs. Granddad was watching television, and he taught me how to open and eat 葵花子s. I also remembered when I was studying in Singapore, he would come occasionally and treat me to very good meals in Orchard Paragon's Crystal Jade, his favorite restaurant. Funniest is when he told me to get some fried rice for myself as he saw I was losing a lot of weight due to the stress in Singapore. He assured me that the fried rice is cheap, and the "cheap" fried rice turned out to be from... din tai fung. Hahahahaha

As I visited his home yesterday evening, and the first thing he told me and my dad was to climb to the second floor and pray to our ancestors. Afterwards, I sank in his sofa, I noticed how time seems to be immortalized in his house. I was sitting on the same sofa that I sat on fifteen years ago, looking at the same newspaper clippings on his mahogany table, and watching from the very same television. I have grown into an adult, into a man who felt compelled to show his grandpa a picture of his girlfriend on his phone. At the same time, I felt that these rusticness grounds me; it keeps me rooted, it makes me remember who I am.. Or at least who I have been.

My granddad was very healthy compared to two months ago. We had a dimsum this morning, and then we took him to stroll in a nearby mall. However, some things about his house really changed.. It started with the broken water and piping systems, and then this time a lot of his house's lighting wasn't working. If a person's dwellings signify his life, this does not bode well.. I am very grateful for whatever time I have left with him, and I am very grateful for the opportunity of seeing him once more before I leave for Japan in two weeks' time.

However, I cannot keep myself from wondering.. if, upon his departure, will I cut all my ties with Surabaya? The only compelling reason to visit this place will only be nostalgia, and we all know that we must not look at the rear view mirror too often if we are to drive a car forward. Nonetheless, I am grateful to be back. I get to see my solid roots, and I will never forget them. And I hope I can do you proud, grandpa. Hopefully I get to see you again.. Love you.

Yours,
林耀宗

Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to convey even a tenth of this to my own grandpa. I will probably never have the opportunity to. However, I believe that some things are better left unsaid, and some words are meant to be unspoken...