Hmm

Beloved readers, this post is more of a self-reflection answering some qualms I have encountered. It's more for me than for you. Thanks :)

On Love,

Earlier this week, I was talking to my boss about dating. She's pretty impressed (and horrified) to learn that I only consider dating my best friends. It's a double-whammy: If you win, you have everything to win. But if things go wrong, you lose not only your lover, but a best friend too. And apparently it doesn't work, because once a guy is in a friendzone, he stays there forever.

I um.. I think I am willing to take the chances that there's some women out there who might have the same philosophy, who prioritize comfort over excitement, and understanding over mystery. What I need to learn is to shelve my tendency to be overly kind and also to shelve my physical attraction to my female friends (and also the need to attract their attention). I guess that's what I mean when I tell myself I have to take it easy. It's not about who to commit to, because it's not at all about commitment. But it is all about choosing who to share my love to, and then committing to myself that it shall never be broken.

And then just hope that the other party would be willing to share hers back. Because if she doesn't, and I truly love her, it doesn't matter. Love doesn't expect anything back. But I know, that for my purposes, I would love being loved back (I'm human too), so now it's just a question of choosing who deserves such a love? And I pray that I become more patient as I choose, and as I do so, I shall not be blinded by pity or lust.

Also, a bunch of my close friends have just graduated from college recently, and they all shared the same advice: Find a girlfriend while you are still in college. It's apparently way more difficult to meet girls outside college. It seems true. Yesterday, the first-years just checked in, and with them a bunch of my friends who are helping with orientation came back to Amherst. I am nowhere near a Don Juan or a Cassanova, but I think I get along pretty well with the ladies. And yes, in the span of 48 hours, I've talked to exactly seven ladies who are kind, attractive, around my age, and not taken (I think), which is around the same number of ladies I talked to during the three months of summer that has just ended.

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"Give me a minute, I'm good. Give me an hour, I'm great. Give me six months, I'm unbeatable."  -Hannibal from The A-Team movie.

I remember this quote when I think about the power of time. I know we shouldn't compare ourselves with other people, but I think the only person we can compare ourself to is the person we were yesterday.

And thus, I look back, and I realize that although I loved myself from the past, I think I grow over time too. I might lose some, but I know that as time passes, I become more mature, and my capabilities grow bigger too. I am confident that the me right now is a much better person to date than the me five years ago, and thus the me five years later would me a way better person to date than the me now.

I also am a believer in the law of attraction, and that you attract similar vibes. As I become wiser and more mature, I'll attract more wiser and more mature company too. I am confident that I can make a girl happy right now, but I am confident I can make her happier in the future. Therefore, with all respect to my seniors' opinions, I will still take it easy. And thus I shall be free from insecurity but also from complacency.

Dear self, take it easy, take it slow. Love does not rush, and she is not going anywhere. Relax, breathe, enjoy the journey, and live.

Sending positive vibrations on your way :)