Golden Ray

So...

This post is a reminder to my future-self while he is in New York, working and being busy, and perhaps starting to fill in with negativity (or at least, taking things for granted). I hope he will remember to pause, go to his own blog, and remember where he is coming from.

It started with a small thought and a simple worry: "What if I couldn't come back to the States on time?"

And instead of thinking the more positive, healthier alternative, I continued to feed the demon. I started to prepare for contingency plans, sharing my worry to my co-workers and managers, and even to my parents. I started having second thoughts about taking the vacation which I planned months in advance. I started to worry for no reason, even though I am and have always been in full compliance with the relevant laws and regulations.

When my appointment with the American Embassy came up, I met three other young, similarly aged Indonesian friends who were applying for the same visa as I do. I actually have previously met one of them in Singapore, and easily made friends with the other two. And yup, the three of them went ahead of me. They were very relaxed and calm, and guess what, their visas were approved on the spot! And mine.... needed additional checking. With the government shutdown, I feared for the worst.

I knew that all my worrying and ruminating has led to this outcome, and from the bottom of my heart I genuinely wanted to go back to the States, and continue learning and working there. Of course, I shared my worry with my family and friends, but I decided to trust the process and pretended that everything will go as planned. A couple thought models truly helped, such as Neale Donald Walsch's law of the Opposites, and Abraham Hicks' workshopping process, where I listed what I wanted, why I wanted it, and why I believe I can allow what I wanted to come to my life. Plus, I received a wonderful advice and prayer from my spiritual mentor, Mary Susaktiani, who I deeply respect and adore. I steadfastly held to the vision of me hugging my friends and coworkers back in New York, and focused on living on the moment and making the best out of my vacation here (and I have a bunch of wonderful amazing stories, which I will post a bit later). I even talked to myself, and playfully imagined meeting my friends in Singapore before I flew back to New York.

Voila! You know the ending! We manifest our thoughts and feelings, but we have the buffer of time on our side. And the power of positive thoughts and feelings (those that simply make you feel good) is so much more significant than the negative ones. So thank goodness!

"Selama dua kaki masih memijak bumi, semesta pasti akan mendukung dan membantu"

I submitted my passport on the first Monday I reached Jakarta, and despite the "additional checks", got a notification that my visa has been approved and ready on Thursday night that week, and I picked it up on Friday just fine. You can't imagine my relief and happiness as I opened the packet and saw the visa printed on my passport, you can't imagine my gratitude that I can continue to work and learn and contribute in the States! Flew to Singapore the next day (Saturday), and indeed saw my friends as I imagined.

Future self, gentle reminder to calm yourself down and have faith, and to be deliberate with your thoughts and feelings and what you are paying attention to.

To be continued,