Happiness

Wow. This is my hundredth blog post. *pats myself on the back* To be honest, this blog is probably the longest lasting relationship I've ever had. We had a few timeouts, I abandoned her for a while, and some governments even forbade our relationship. But she is still here, waiting for me :)

Anyway, to commemorate my hundredth post, I would like to dedicate this blog to the start of something new. I watched an inspiring TED positive psychology video a few days ago, and the speaker insisted that one of the key to happiness is to keep a daily journal of a positive experience that one have encountered within the last 24 hours. He asserts that doing so would help the brain to re-live the happy moment, and in as short as 21 days, the happiness of the person should be significantly higher! Anyway, I'll give it a go. I believe that there's no bigger insult to the universe than taking her small gifts for granted. I live not for these small gifts, but they keep me from going insane, and thus I owe them a lot.

Here goes. I would like to recall the first experience of group truth-or-dare. After spending the whole Saturday studying, writing essays, and doing paperwork, I was invited to the badminton group's "study-party". We had that party in the Asian Culture House, 4th floor Moore dormitory. It was more a group of friends just chilling around though. There were Shanghui, Phyo, Xandy, Sarah, Xiaoling, Tianshen, Jack, and I. Hao came late.

Anyway, Sarah and Xiaoling spent money to prepare food, cheese, wine, and drinks, and as expected, they never accept it when I try to reimburse them. Oh right, the theme of the party was originally cheese and wine tasting, but no one popped the wine bottle in the end. Tsk tsk. Anyway, since my proposed shoot shag and marry game was waaay to liberal for the conservative minded group, we played truth or dare to kill time and create a topic of conversation. The truth or dare soon became truth or truth, but interesting questions were really asked.

For me, I recounted how guilty I felt when I accidentally entered the female bathroom in RJ after a tiring day. I swear it was an accident! Worse was, my interact junior was sitting right there inside the room, and I just turned red and buzzed off without apologizing properly. Fortunately I came out unscathed though. Water under the bridge. I just read somewhere online that "bad decisions make good stories", and I think it's true. HAHAHAHA. Most of the wacky things that happened in my life were out of bad decisions.

Anyway, I am grateful for that night. I recall I came over feeling super drained, and as we talked more I gradually became energized. I left the night with a happy tummy (oh right, Jack baked us a chocolate oreo pie with frosting. Yummy, rich, but super sinful. Oh wells.) and also a good mood. Let's just leave out certain details here but I am grateful to have this circle of people here in Amherst. I am grateful because well I feel comfortable hanging around them, and they are made up of genuinely caring persons.

That's it folks. See you tomorrow.

Truly Indonesia's Finest.

Snowboarding / Fall From Grace

yeah yeah, this is something I have to write. On what purpose, you ask? I shall get back to you on that. Parts of the essay has been omitted to conceal blatant details. Nonetheless, enjoy! I gotta stop screwing around.. hahaha.

(note: This is unedited. I will need to cut down more words, but gives a good picture of my feelings toward the United States experience I have so far)

Trying snowboarding for the first time reminded me when I first arrived to the United States for college. Everything was different, and I am not quite sure what to expect. I met a lot of people from different backgrounds, tried American-style partying for the first time, and struggled through my first seminar class. Of course, like snowboarding, I “fell” so many times: When I felt excluded by my friends, when I missed people from back home as everyone is so different here, or when I felt that I wasn’t taken seriously due to my accent.

However, my experience here is just as addictive as snowboarding. Everytime I fall down, I am almost always eager to pick myself up and continue. I watched more American television shows, read up on the country’s politics and economics, and attended many discussions about topics that I have had little exposure to previously, such as gender equality, LGBTQIAA issues, and sexuality. I sometimes force myself to go to parties and other events as I reminded myself that these cultural exposures are part of the American college experience I wanted. I learned how to dance Tango. I learned how to snowboard. I picked up the Americans’ warmth and caring attitude, which almost always entails a “how are you” or “how was your day” everytime they greet one another, and they almost always meant it.

Whenever I feel that I am going too fast, I had to force myself to fall down in order to stop as well, so that I don’t end up injuring myself. I have not formed a solid world view, and I am in the process of redefining my values. As such, I did not drink even when everyone else expected me to. Although I tried going to parties, I never participated in the college’s hook-up culture. I know that I do not need to please anyone, and I know where to draw the line. And sometimes I take it easy too: Just like snowboarding, when one falls one is always free to rest for a while and not immediately continue. I went at my own pace.

As I went back home for winter break, my friends noticed how the US experience has changed me. I have become more self-confident and assertive as I adjusted to my peers who are so outspoken and confident. I have also become much more adventurous. Living in such an open and different culture conditioned me to take risks, such as how I agreed to stay over at a new acquaintance’s place, as I had nowhere to stay that night. It is something that I would have never done had I not gone to the United States. Most importantly, however, I also realized that I am becoming much more liberal and open-minded about a lot of things. Sure, I was not comfortable when my conservative beliefs about race, culture, and sexuality were initially challenged, but now I am able to better understand and respect people’s choices.

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

State of Mind

I discovered that cool is a state of mind.

A few minutes ago, I felt so overwhelmed that I needed a hug, I felt like jumping around, and I wanted to call distress. I felt that the multitude waves of tasks and things are coming crashing down on the dykes and breakwaters of my physique, mental, and life.

So I decided to declare overdrive.

But I wasn't entirely sure what overdrive meant, so I typed it in google and opened the first link from Wikipedia:

"An overdrive (OD) is a mechanism that allows an automobile to cruise at sustained speed with reduced engine RPM, leading to better fuel economy, lower noise, and lower wear." (wikipedia.com)

Yeah, I need this kind of overdrive, not the one I was thinking about. Sky, you got me good.

Cheers,
Truly Indonesia's Finest.

St Valentino

I spent the whole of Saturday snowboarding in Vermont (it was awesome, by the way. Fell down tons of times, but was finally able to maneuver and to stop without falling down, so yeah it was so worth it :DD) , so I have no idea why I am writing this blog post instead of doing work. Because screw priority, that is. Hahaha.

Anyway, I guess this blog post is in response to one of my best friend who tried to keep his promise and updated his blog post more often. (Lol I know I promised you to be more specific but do you really want me to write your name in my post? XD and I would like to play DotA 2 with you, but I'm kinda packed with work sorry!!) And he talked about how he spent his Valentine day, so I shall talk about how I spent mine too!

Well, let's see. I have an important project going on now, something which I cannot tell anyone uninvolved yet. Imagine how it feels when people ask you: "Why are you so busy lately?" or "What are you up to lately?" and being unable to give the proper answer? Well, haha sorry for the digression, let's get back to track.

Anyway, I shall blame this project and a generally intensive school workload combined (and also a taken chiobu --> please refer to the post a few months ago) as the reasons (or excuses) for me not to be that social recently. Which obviously means that I had no valentine, which actually made the whole valentine experience terrific! :D

I cannot deny the fact that I am not craving for a romantic relationship and for a girl's touch is not true; However, until the conclusion of the project is determined, whatever relationships I enter will potentially have an expiry date. Thus, I'd rather not. (Whether I can or not is another different story altogether)

Anyway, I started my Valentine's day last Friday by studying for my Chinese quiz, attended lessons as per normal, locked myself up to carry on working with the "project", took an afternoon nap, went for dinner at Valentine Hall (Amherst's dining hall, ironically it has nothing to do with the Valentine Day itself) with the chiobu I was talking about.. Together with her boyfriend!

However, fortunately things got rather interesting in the evening :) I headed to Tango immediately after dinner, an opportunity to awkwardly introduce myself to new people while swaying around. I should say that I started to be more confident in leading, though. I should be able to dance with girls properly real soon;)

Anyway, after Tango, I found myself stuck in a speed dating event arranged for Mt Holyoke girls to meet Amherst guys. I had to come late as I had Tango and I had to leave early as I did not want to miss Badminton, but I managed to talk to a few girls. No, no, I did not manage to obtain any numbers, so you win this time, my friend! Some of them are quite cute, I'll be sure to pay a proper visit to Mt Holyoke in the future;) To conclude the evening, I went to badminton practice, and met up with some of my badminton seniors afterwards for some tangyuan soup and nice chatter.

Well, that concludes my Valentine's day. Yep, best of luck to us for the next ones, gan! ;)

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

12 Golden Principles of Dating for Aristocratic Gentlemen

I was thinking of sharing this piece of wisdom I obtained a few years ago. I am getting there, hopefully. For the male readers, are you an aristocrat when you date a woman? For the female readers, have you dated one, or are dating one? I hope you enjoy this list. Feel free to comment about your thoughts/frustrations/gratitude/anger/etc. Or you can just contact me via other means ;)

Anyway, an aristocratic gentleman:

1. Is detached and objective when dating women.

2. Is never afraid of losing a girl. The fear of losing the girl will lead to the loss of the girl.

3. Believes that there is always a better woman for him.

4. Believes that God blesses us with more than one soulmates. If one door closes, another one opens.

5. Once he receives respect and admiration from the lady, he reciprocates by giving her his attention and affection. He spoils the lady to the best of his capacity.

6. Does not sweet talk his lady too often.

7. Lets his lady to be more active and do most of the talking, so as to better understand the lady's true self, stripped of her facades.

8. Understands that mutual understanding, not mutual demanding, is the key to relationships.

9. Knows that every lady has her own favorite little things. He takes note of them and surprises her with them.

10. Knows that love does not need to rush, because there is nothing to be chased after. However, he also knows that love should not be lazy, because it does not wait. He knows that love is like a river, and he should just go with the flow. 

11. Knows that love = sharing + caring. A relationship without communication is like a bagel without cream cheese: nothing glues the two pieces together, and it doesn't taste good.

12. Does not bring up sacrifices he made for his lady. For when he does that, he is sacrificing the value of his sacrifice. He also knows that love without sacrifice is tasteless.

That is all, folks. Hope you enjoyed the read.

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

Live 1.2

So out of the blue Kak Ayu, a friend and a senior in spirituality, sent me a line message, asking me to check out a particular life-changing seminar. So in turn, I asked her a few questions which turned into a lengthy conversation. I learned a lot from the exchange, but obviously the conversation left me thinking. (And you know the rest, it is the typical me overthinking about stuff  just to irresponsibly dump them on my blog. But hey, isn't it why these things were created?)

Anyway, she told me how we are here in the world because we voluntarily chose a physical body to live in, and we also chose to have our memories erased. There will be parts of us that guide us along the way, but with our physical manifestation they are in the process of learning whatever lessons they have not learned yet in the past. (Let us not bring in how in the nonphysical dimension time is not linear, which makes it confusing to define when is the past and when is the future. In truth, the past is the future, and the future is the past.)

Thus then, I pondered: What is the meaning of life? Why live, just to suffer along the way, just to make others suffer, and to meet death in the end, and then to live again? Do we owe our life to other people, or to some higher beings, or does it belong solely to us? Sounds morbid indeed, and as Liam said, we must use the chance between the start and finish line to live a happy and meaningful life, because a rich man can be buried next to a poor man. He continues by saying that finding these things that make you happy and gives you meaning is the purpose of life.

Mbak Ayu discussed that another way of looking a person's level of "development" is by intently observing how the person reacts to difficulties in his or her life. I roughly know how a developed person will react, but does it seem right that the person will still go through difficulties although he or she is already developed? I have a feeling that it is the wrong way of thinking: a) everyone undergoes difficulties in their lives, it's just the question of when, where, how difficult, and how he/she reacts to it. b) It is because they are developed, they intently put themselves through the suffering (no I am not talking about making a conscious decision to jump into a pool of piranhas or something similar, I am talking about the pre-life decision) and it won't last forever. Although I am far from being a Christian, let us take the example of Jesus Christ, for instance. He willingly chose to die on a cross. Mahatma Gandhi who lived his life through poverty and suffering. Nelson Mandela, imprisoned and tortured several times.

I believe that the meaning of life can be seen anywhere, but especially in the darkest hours, the hours of glory, and the passing mundane hours we take for granted. Whenever there is life, there is death, whenever there is darkness, there is light. So probably life is about transcending the two extremes? Anyway, before I close, another thing came to my mind: If your body bleeds it will heal itself soon enough for most people, but for some, wounds in the heart never seem to heal. Are we more afraid of the physical knife or the psychological knife?

Well.

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

Live

Happy Sunday!

I don't know if you'll agree with me, but if you have lived in dorms, you'll probably understand how I feel. I usually flood myself with other people in weekdays, and probably up until Saturday. And I will seek an escape, a refuge, a time to be by myself, at least for a meal. And I don't care if people will judge me as being antisocial, I just need some time to be away from everything. From others, from work, from my computer screen.

When I was back home, I had plenty of my time to myself. Gathering and talking with friends were something I yearned for. Now it's the other way around: I have learned that it is totally cool to hang out with yourself. :) Anyhow, it has been a rather productive week. I re-launched my Whatsapp and Instagram account, I had a Korean dinner with friends for my Chinese New Year, and I attended a "pregame" in Liam's room, who's also celebrating his birthday. Most importantly, I am progressing with whatever I need to work on. I spent this week talking to a lot of people, squeezing out their opinions, dramatized some parts of my life, and underwent plenty of reflections otherwise.

Perfection is forbidden, but a person's sole real duty is to continue on living.

Why do people want to be successful? What is the meaning of success? What constitutes success? What of it? Why do people want to win? No one plays a game to lose. Is life, then, a game?

I was reading through an inspiring series of work, and it was written there that people want to succeed because they have sacrificed things in the past to get where they are now. If they simply sink, all that has been forgone shall be forgone in vain.

Although presently I don't amount much, what I am today, where I am standing now, I don't own all of them to myself.

However, I do maintain that whatever it is, the most important thing is to carry on living. I talked to my Chinese teacher, and apart from 再会, we reached the same conclusion:  与其以后后悔，不如现在试试. In the end, isn't it is what is life all about? It rains sometimes, and we may forget to look forward to the sunshine. But when it does, why don't we dance in the rain? And do whatever we can? Because perfection is forbidden, but we must keep on walking.

We don't need to live forever, we just need to live.

Nothing is in vain.

Truly Indonesia's Finest,