The Essence of Social Dance

Now, I shall not claim that I have acquired the philosophy of Argentine Tango, or any social dance whatsoever. I, however, have realized that now I have an apt way to justify my involvement in such endeavor, as I explained to an upperclassman while we were queuing for free crepes and Falafels at Amherst's Citifest.

Well, we should firstly go back to the whole "I won't be able to experience this in Asia" type of argument; Which is false but true at the same time. False because I am certain that there are Argentine Tango clubs in China, Singapore, and probably Jakarta, but true because I wouldn't have the guts to even try out these things if I were to stay in Asia.

I know some people would denounce Argentine Tango merely as a slow, rather boring form of dance. Of course, it is a social dance, not a performance/competition type of dance like Salsa, Swing, or Ballroom: We don't practice our ass off to achieve perfection with a permanent partner who we know inside out. We negotiate beauty through imperfection and improvisation, while learning how to handle and welcome new people in our life as we minimize our distances from the practice position, to the open embrace, and finally the close embrace.

As cliche as it sounds, impermanence is the sole permanence. People come and go, and social dance confers the opportunity to break this overarching walls the modern society has imprisoned us in. We learn how to balance small talk with our dance moves, how to manage our personal boundaries while learning how to touch and handle the other. My coach sums it up in an interesting point: Young men of today compete in athletic games to show off their prowess, giving the ladies a signal of his capability. This should not be the case as athletic prowess does not in any way foretell the guy's ability to handle his woman. Is he able to treat her well, is he able to touch her well? It should not be strength, it should be beauty, it should be the delicacy.

I dare not say I now know how to handle my women. I dare say that I have become much more confident in my interactions and my touch with them. For one reason or another, I have this slight fear that as an international Asian guy, I would be kinda looked down upon by western girls, and this is reflected by the lack of my confidence, needless to say especially around Caucasian women. Last Saturday, at Amherst's day of Tango, I met a girl who taught me otherwise. Tatiana from France is such an amazing sight. No, she may not be the warmest or the most patient lady out there, but she treated me nicely and fairly. We danced, we touched, and we saw each other as partners, as equals. This gave me the confidence, this gave me what I sought after, that hey, after all, regardless of everything else, I am a gentleman, too. I liked how she instilled such confidence in me, and finally I got to lead her well. And we hugged twice before parting.

Now that is such a sweet lady, and this is the experience I am seeking for and is gratefully blessed with. Thank you, Tatiana ;)

Truly Indonesia's Finest,