Wong's Garden

Because I know my priorities.

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About a year and eight months ago I finally bought a car after convincing my parents for a long time. Driving was not only essential to getting around in Western Mass, doing so is also one of my greatest escapes. Often, I'd take a personal sojourn for no reason whatsoever, other than enjoying to stepping on my gas pedal, rolling down my windows, and blasting my music.

Having a car also helps a great deal in my quest of finding the perfect restaurant that serves the perfect General Tso's (or one of its variants). The perfect restaurant has to be:

• Far enough from the college so that I can enjoy the drive and know for sure that I won't run into anyone else I know;
• Near enough from the college such that I don't starve to death before arriving and I don't have to spend too much money on gas;
• Serve great tasting General Tso's or one of it's variants for cheap, but being served by non-Asian waiters - so that I never get judged for speaking broken Chinese or for ordering an Americanized Chinese food;
• Never be too crowded so it does not feel awkward eating alone, nor do I feel disturbed when recharging and reflecting about life; and
• Serve free-flowing tea and water, which I can sip as I think about life.

I discovered such a restaurant in Belchertown, a neighboring town about 20 minutes away from Amherst College: Huge portions of food is about the only downside the restaurant has. Wong's Garden thrives on take-outs, and therefore it is never crowded (I confess to be rather nervous during my first visit - the restaurant was empty and I was bracing myself for mediocre food). I have yet tried their General Tso's, but their Wong's Garden Special Chicken is something I swear by. The waitresses are kind and polite, they never tell me that as an Asian I shouldn't order Americanized Chinese food. And I always feel comfortable sipping my tea and writing on my journal long after I signed my check. I am going to severely miss this place when I graduate and move out.

On a side note, I asked myself why I enjoy being by myself, and why I have a need to be by myself. The answer I got was because it is only when I am only with myself, I can be myself. I can be true to me, the way I really am. I feel happy because I feel authentic. Being myself liberates me.

The dialectic continued as I asked if and how I can be myself when I am not by myself. The response I got was to calm myself down by knowing what to care and stop caring about the rest. It was a great reminder to quieten the noises - I have been living with my mind and emotions agitated, and it exhausts me. I have proven that I can be calm, that I can care less, and still be really sharp and socially functional. Maybe caring less makes me even more socially functional. Calming down, trying less hard, caring less, and enjoying and living more.