Essence of Vibrations

Dear benevolent readers,

Hope you've had an enjoyable weekend! I had a tremendously pleasurable Saturday night - Chelsea invited me to watch a stand-up comedy show, and the two of us got seated right smack in front of the stage. This was quite the experience: I have been to plenty of stand-ups but have never sat on the front row, much less with a beautiful lady friend accompanying me. 

Of course, the comics couldn't resist themselves when they see (what they perceive as) an Asian couple calmly enjoying tea instead of alcohol in the front row. We got questions from "Are you two in a relationship" (she strongly refuted it) to "Why aren't you eating your hot dog, good sir" (my jaws hurt from all the laughing). Somehow, with a mix of bluffing, good humor, and sarcasm, I managed to fend off these projectiles coming our way pretty well, and afterward Chelsea also acknowledged that I did a good job! Hey, well done, me ;) all credits go to my inner troll that activates when there's a cute girl nearby..

Anyways, ahem, going on to the main topic -

Vibrations.

Let's start with the premise of duality: Everything exists in a matter form and an energy form simultaneously. I think in physics this is called wave-particle duality. Therefore, we have a physical body, (in my case, who is typing on the laptop right now) and a wave-like/energy-like/non-physical body (part of which is often wandering around thinking about girls, hahaha). Jeffery Allen, in his Duality class, asserted that the physical body acts as a container to the non-physical body, and that the non-physical body is much, much larger than the physical body itself.

Moving on to establishing the second premise: Similar to how your eyes act as an interpreter of light, and your skin an interpreter of heat, your feelings act as an interpreter to the vibrations you are giving off (and vibrations that you are in contact with, that you pick up). And different feelings have different vibrations - happiness and joy feels very different from despair, for the very reason that these emotions vibrate at tremendously different frequencies.

And finally, the third premise is that what we attract in the physical reality is in direct correspondence with the vibrations that we are giving out. In other words, there is no way that a person giving out dismal vibes is going to attract pleasant physical events. An analogy that is often used is a radio and a satellite transmitter - there is no way a radio can play the rock songs of 95.1 FM if it is set to receive the news from 108.8 FM.

What must follow from these premises is a conclusion that there is nothing we CANNOT do, be, have, or achieve - as long as we can give out the vibrations that match the frequency of our desires, and maintain it at that level. It is really simple to know whether you are manifesting what you want or not, too, thanks to the second premise: Simply note your feelings!

I repeat: When one is giving out a certain kind of vibration, it is immediately and is always responded to by the Universe with an identical kind of vibration toward that said person. Sure, there is a lag in the physical world compared to the non-physical world (and for good reason!), but it will get there.

If you're like me, and almost every other person on earth, the essence of your desires are probably emotions of joy, happiness, fun, peace, excitement, love, compassion, forgiveness, and companionship. And therefore I resolve to trust the universe in this - that I shall give out these vibes and they will come to me and that I won't be too fussy about the details. If I want chocolate cakes because it makes me really happy and instead I got a bunch of meatballs that make me really happy, my need for happiness has been fulfilled! Similarly, sometimes my needs are also being met non-physically while it is coming to my way physically. For example, I've had a couple dreams of fun and romance in the middle of a hectic week at work, simply because I asked for something fun and for some romance while I was exhausted at work. I remember woke up with a huge grin on my face and being really happy and content - my need was fulfilled because I could felt the same vibrational essence!

Try it out, ask for what you want, and just pretend as if you have gotten it.

Gifts

Hi readers, how is it going?

Hahaha. This week has been on the rougher spectrum, for multiple reasons. But yet, if one lives with the premise that the condition of life is optimal, then one must accept that everything in one's life happens for that said person.

I'd like to think that after attending Eckhart Tolle's talk, and listening to other big ideas, including creation, feelings as an indicator, and avoiding living in a me-centered universe, I'd be unfuckwithable. What does being unfuckwithable mean? Popularized by Vishen Lakhiani, being unfuckwithable means having persistent inner peace and self-love regardless of one's external circumstances. Alas, reaching that state takes some practice.

Not taking one's life seriously takes some practice. Forgiving others and letting go takes practice. Not fully believing and identifying with one's thoughts takes practice.

And well, put it that way, this week has given me the opportunity of such practice. Work was busy this week - I put in close to 70 hours I think by today. On top of that, I got yelled at, and I didn't get the non-billable I wanted. And I took everything personally.

But hey, armed with a new mental model and a greater understanding, I began to take it easy. What if this all happens for me? What if there are better things out there that now is coming to my life, because all these happened? What if these are the things I really needed? And of course - I take responsibility too. I ended the blame game such that I don't blame anyone, including myself, but I take responsibility!

Therefore, thank you, Universe, for giving me a challenging week. I am grateful, because this was a great opportunity showing the fruits of my training. I have become more patient, more optimistic, and more forgiving. And I will continue toward that perfection, until I can operate at the full state of allowing and surrender, and have inner peace and fun wherever I go and whatever I do. That I wake up, one day, feeling full and complete, fully accepting and loving myself, finally realizing and continuously feeling enough.

Thank you. I am getting there.

The Present

Once upon a time,

I was browsing through my Instagram, and discovered that a profound spiritual teacher by the name of Eckhart Tolle was planning on speaking in New York City. Eckhart Tolle is well-known for stoicism, and I thought, why not try and heal myself right now? Therefore, I went to the ticketmaster website and paid over two hundred bucks to secure myself a seat to listen him speak.

Fast forward a couple of weeks later, I found myself in a line that stretched round the block of the Beacon Theatre on a 7:30 pm on a Saturday. Nested in between Tolle enthusiasts, I was silently how beautiful the pre-war buildings in this posh area was. I swiftly got through security and prepared myself to take lots of notes - I came armed with a pen and my tiny Optiver notebook, but as Tolle started speaking I gave up any attempt to be subtle about my note-taking.

Yes, it was worth my two hundred bucks. I am just writing down things without referring to the notebook, and these things are definitely what is worth remembering.

Most people don't know who they truly are. They know their past, their history, and their future, their plans and goals. They know their body, and their political views, personality, so on and so forth, but according to Tolle, it is not really them. If we are a room, then we have been caring and cognizant about the ceiling, the walls, the floors, and every single thing, except for the space in that room. Similarly, there is an existence within us, even after that personality part of us has been stripped away. This existence is not ephemeral, it is everlasting and is reliable. And - this is a secret - is the same across all sentient beings. We all draw from one source energy.

One of the many beautiful things Tolle said was that our brains to this consciousness is like a radio or a television to the waves: The vibrations bring in the essential information, but the machine interprets it. Us personalities are simply unique manifestations of this collective consciousness. In essence, we are one. Truly knowing this (knowing thyself, not the personality part) is what it means to be awakened. Well, why bother? A few things, but mostly - a detachment, and ultimately, freedom from suffering.

The human civilization has thrived thanks to their use of the mind as a tool. It is a wonderful tool for reason, for science, for technology. But on the flip side, they started manifesting as our masters. The typical modern human being is severely addicted to thinking. And these thinking are not productive thinking - they are addicted to worrying, gossiping, judging, and all these unproductive forms of thought. They believe all the thoughts in their head are true and are theirs, because they need to identify with something - and they identify with their thoughts. And the characteristic of an untrained (or untamed) mind is of separation - it sees itself versus the other. As a result, there is a need to always feel superior, be it by judging other people or by trying to get accomplishments or by playing the victim - and it will never be quite satisfied, happy, or accomplished.

So how do we tap into this inner consciousness? How do we become aware of our own awareness? The answer turns out to be simple. Simply notice the moment after one thought ends, but before another thought arises. There is a gap, there is a stillness, in this alertness state in the now, with fully-focused sensory awareness. Looking at or listening to or smelling something without labeling it. In this moment, there is no past, no future. There is no history, and you don't have the problems with you. Your mind doesn't convert challenges into problems anymore. There simply is.

And it felt truly wonderful to simply be there in the moment. For a moment there was no (insert author's name here), none of his life dramas, none of his worries, sadness, stresses, anxiety about the future. There is only a pleasant feeling of existing right now.

And apparently, if you slowly extend this gap, you'll become familiar with the consciousness within you. And it's there, forever. Unending. This doesn't mean that one should stop thinking altogether - no! Even after familiarizing one's self with this state, one can interact and use the personality identity and with other identities still very effectively. And there you go :) keep on doing what you must, but take time to appreciate the gap, to be present there. Because right now is the only time you'll ever have.

Luceeee

Hey readers - what's up!

Been a hectic week. hahaha. Which is good, because that meant that I'm super productive. (y)

Anyways, here I am in UES, DavidsTea Shop, calmly sipping a cup of ice cream matcha tea. It's really freaking good. It's so good that I just asked for a refill of hot water from the cute lady assisting me with the tea - and I had an amazing conversation with her too about Overwatch. It's funny, but I'll look into it. She told me she cosplays too. And this is a white girl I'm talking about. hahaha.

How did I end up in this situation? I guess - good karma? Or certain thought vibrations? Not quite sure. But yes, I had an amazing, actually, a perfect, weekend. And I am very grateful for it.

Sometime during the week a thought, or two, or three bubbled into the surface of my mind. A thought that was charged by such negative emotions, a thought that I immediately believed in and associated with. This was along the lines of: "I am feeling very lonely, I need company. I'm tired of going home to an empty home, to have nobody to spend time with during the weekends, to have nobody to share my life with. If this trend continues, then this weekend I will simply be alone and lonely."

Notice how it's just a thought. :) but at that moment, I let myself into its grips. I let it run the show, I let it define me as a problem that needed solution. But fortunately, I am a bit well-trained (and moreso after attending the Eckhart Tolle at the beautiful Beacon Theatre talk last night!) and immediately realized that I need to dissociate from such a thought and choose better-feeling thoughts whenever they are available for me! Because such a feeling is indicative on whatever is coming to my life, and even if it wasn't the case why would one actively seek to feel terrible if, through willpower and intent, one can feel astonishingly better?

I'm not exactly sure if I was able to willfully choose a better-feeling thought or if I simply surrendered and killed the thought because a better-feeling one wasn't available, but the few days moved on and I started feeling better. I was working hard during the weekdays, and surrendered to the fact that I'll probably spend my weekend alone, and I was fine and ready and prepared for it. I'm pretty awesome, anyways, so what's not to love about spending time with myself? Hehehe.

Come Friday afternoon (somehow that day I didn't decide to lock my phone inside my drawer), I received a text from Lucy, a wonderful friend from Amherst, letting me know that she's going on an impromptu trip to New York and asking me if I could host her over the weekend. Lucy is such a sweetheart and such a delight to be around with, so obviously it's a yes for me. We had multiple quality conversations, toured the streets and riversides of New York, awesome meals and ice cream and boba, and watched the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and tidbits of Alan Watt's talks together.

I am truly grateful for Lucy, as she's special in a lot of ways. I first met her when Audrey invited her over to our lunch at Oriental Flavors, and we instantly connected. Lucy is really beautiful, charming, and kind. She always tries to engage with you, and gives her best in everything. She's fun-loving yet prudent, and is truly truly thoughtful (she actually got me a pack of matcha green tea which tastes amazing and wrote me a thank-you note for hosting me! I've hosted a bunch of friends but she's the first to show this kind of appreciation!) She's truly fun to tease and make fun of, and most importantly, she is not judgmental and not demanding. I am grateful for her company this weekend, and I definitely would love more of her company in the future. Hehehe.

Anyways, I ramble. What brought me to this wonderful tea shop in this charming neighbourhood? Yes, Lucy. She left behind her glasses in my apartment, and therefore I took it to Rachael, who lives around here, and who is going back to Amherst as well. I am chuffed to bits as I got to see and say hi to Rachael for a bit too, before exploring the area and savoring such a wonderful cup of tea. As a bonus, a really charming couple was sitting in my view, and they were having such a great time talking, caressing, and making out. I am really happy for them, and I am grateful for this good omen! I am grateful for all the romances I get to witness and experience! Ahem.

I hope your weekend is amazing too :)

Senpai

Today I went to Shanghai Asian Manor to eat some xialongbao with a friend for lunch.

The thing is, it wasn't just a friend, and it wasn't just a lunch.

It was a goodbye lunch with my very special friend, mentor, and senpai, Mirina. Mirina senpai is quitting her job in New York and flying back to Japan, where she will be starting her job and fulfilling her dream of working for an education company.

Mirina is special in so many ways - but primarily because she's probably my "oldest" friend in New York City. Not because she's actually old age-wise (I think she is sort of? lol), but because she's the only person right now who I could think of who was there for me in Manhattan the summer of my Junior year, when I was interning in Atalaya, when I was new to the city, lonely, and overworked. She took me to a bunch of restaurants and bars, and always was an amazing company. And most importantly, she continued being a great friend and senpai ever since I moved to the city last July. I still credit her for finding my favorite pasta place in the city. (the Supper! I'm so excited to take the next lucky girl to this place for some meat pasta, red wine, and quality time!)

But anyways, what I really appreciate about Mirina is how unapologetically frank and open she is about everything, and nothing is ever taboo as a conversation topic between the two of us. She has always been open about numerous extremely personal things, including family affairs, trysts, and sexuality. Speaking to her has always been refreshing, she's always on to something interesting, and I always learn of good food or desserts after hanging out with her. Heck, she's the first woman I've ever shared about the Taoist method on male ejaculation (Google it if you must, not terribly safe for work). This attests to how open and comfortable we are with each other.

And yet, our paths must diverge, at least for now.. Thank you for everything, Mirina senpai. I'll miss those days we share exploring restaurants together, from taking the Ikea ferry to go to the Brooklyn Crab to going to this janky hole-in-the-wall place in Chinatown to grab some tasty hand pulled noodles and to buying chestnut pasta in Eataly. I am truly grateful to have met you and known you and to have had a lot of fun together with you. I wish you all the success and love and happiness in Tokyo, and I look forward to continuing our epic culinary adventures and wonderfully inappropriate conversations sometime soon. And I'll miss you.

Ja, mata ato de, senpai. Arigatou..

R

Life Cont'd

Hi readers,

Just figured that you might want me to continue on what I wrote yesterday. Hehehe.

Today was an amazing, in many ways, perfect Sunday for me as well! I got up around 9:30 am and lazed around in my bed, before transferring some Zeny to my younger brother who just started playing Ragnarok Online again. RO is a throwback to us growing up, we spent many hours of our early teenage years glued to the computer screen playing this MMORPG. I went on to meditate for half an hour or so, and then steeled myself for a run.

Despite telling the said lady yesterday that I was planning to run in Central Park, I changed my mind and gave the East River a shot. Honestly, it was a tad chillier than I anticipated, but the run was nothing short of gorgeous. The promenades were such a treat, plus I ran far down enough to see the piers and the tourists and a bunch of green-clad musicians playing St. Patrick's songs. I also bumped into Liora (a coworker) on my way up! All-in-all, I ran a total of ten miles, and I can say confidently that I am ready for a half marathon. Thank goodness.

I wisely brought my credit card with me while I was running - I was super hungry by the end of it and decided to treat myself to my favorite buffet restaurant in the city: Darbar Grill. I was this random Asian kid with a grey long sleeve, damp shorts from running, and a frazzled hair, but I mustered all my confidence and piled heaps and heaps of the delicious and creamy Goa fish curry and the spicy goat curry onto my plate. And boy did I gorge it down - pretty certain that if all customers ate like me they'd go bankrupt in less than a week!

So when I got back, I was delighted to learn that Jihong agreed on having dinner with me. I gave my daily thanks and got ready for my CMB coffee. Yushu is pretty chill, I had a great conversation with her, learned a lot about her love for travel and stocks. After talking to her, I am definitely going to look into investing in JD, a Chinese e-commerce company that she says hasn't been recognized by the American public yet. T'was nice meeting ya, Yushu!

I stepped to the office really briefly, bumped into (and had a lengthy conversation with) Francesco, the really funny Italian Associate in my office. Went to the 41st floor and bumped into Catherine, and gave her a hug (she's so sweet), and then watched a bit of Alan Watts before readying myself and heading out to meet Jihong for dinner. I was so lucky too - the 6 train wasn't running from the station near my office, but I was able to alternatively take a bus that got me there only a few minutes late ;)

Earlier in the day, she told me that she wanted sushi, and all the options I could thought of weren't ideal as they'd typically make us wait, especially at a 7pm on a Sunday. Fortuitously, one of her friend recommended a place called Ise, which was very convenient for both of us, and also had a rezzy spot available. Grand. Anyways, I stepped into the restaurant and saw her sitting in a quite, private room-like booth that sat four but was given to us anyways. She dressed stunningly, looked truly attractive, and smelled like heaven. I forgot how beautiful and attractive Jihong is.

Ahem. Anyways, I gave her a hug and had the most amazing conversation and dinner in a while. She told me that she got an internship with the Cravath or Wachtell equivalent law firm in Korea, and I was so happy for her! We caught up on life, our workout regimen, and our friendships and relationships. I was so glad to share food with her too! I was planning only to eat some salad (given the Darbar above), but we ended up sharing a magnificent sushi/sashimi combo, a delicious bowl of seaweed salad, and a delightful charred salmon head. Tasty!

We decided to go get some drinks afterwards, and she suggested to go to Bookmarks, a bar that I mentioned to her a long time ago. Before we get there, I just wanna talk about the Universe being playful today. When we were at Trader Joe's, I was asking the cashier if TJs sells flowers, and the cashier said yes. I thanked him and then told him that I'd buy it next time. The cashier then looked at Jihong who was standing right next to me and told me: "you should buy her the flowers now." And I looked at Jihong and asked her: "Do you want flowers or alcohol from next door?" And the cashier guy yammered: "You don't ask her, just buy it for her!" Hahahaha. When we were on our train up to Bookmarks, Jihong for some reason wasn't holding onto the poles in the subway properly, and she almost fell over when the train abruptly stopped. Fortunately, I caught her in time and guided her hand to the pole. The woman sitting behind her immediately said: "Lady, you should've grabbed the pole, not your man." Hahahahha. The Universe truly loves to tease us.

Anyways, we arrived at Bookmarks, it is in the 14th floor of a hotel somewhere near Grand Central ;) It was such a beautiful and cozy setting (although drinks were less tasty) and we eased ourselves up and talked and shared for hours and hours. It's funny that I was able to learn a lot more about her and the way she thinks, and I think I was able to cheer her up a bit too. I am also really grateful because today she was so at ease, she was in no rush to be anywhere, and it was really nice being around her. Doesn't hurt that she was a bit touchier than the usual ;) hehehe. We ultimately moved to a pair of sofas near the fireplace, and we were reminiscing about how the place reminded us of the Lord Jeff's Inn, which we visited when we had our restaurant week date in Amherst.

Ultimately, I walked her back to Grand Central, which was adorned with colors and lights so beautifully. I gave her another hug, and asked her to text me when she got back to her dorm safely.

Thank you so much for today, Jihong :) I am so happy that I got to spend time with you, it was so warm and so nice to be around you. Hehehe. It's funny that you told me that you don't believe that a guy and a girl can never be truly just friends. Hehehe. I guess we'll see about that, for now let me say that I am grateful to have you in New York, and I would love to see more of the face of yours. Til' next time :)

Thank you, Universe, for such an amazing and perfect weekend :)

R

Doing Life Right

Today started with Rhonda Byrne's book - The Power. It said that however the state of any aspect of your life is the reflection of how much good feeling or love that you have put into that particular aspect. For example, if you are enjoying a good relationship with another person, that means that you have put in plenty of good feeling into the said relationship. Conversely, focusing and channeling good feelings and love to something will guarantee an improved outcome to it! It is that simple.

Therefore, with that mindset, I gave thanks for a wonderful outcome to the lunch with Audrey, and sure enough, I had an amazing dim sum with her! (Oh well, I had a haircut first, to be fair.) It was such a pleasure seeing her again.

I first met Audrey at the second semester of my senior year, as I was tutoring for Microeconomics. Audrey is a gorgeous, tall Asian girl with puffy cheeks, long hair, an enormous ambition, and an outstanding talent for music. While I was her tutor, I was also in charge of 30+ or so students, and therefore I have never had the chance to get to know her personally -- until a few weeks ago, when she reached out telling me that she was visiting New York City and asking me if I could grab a meal with her. I said yes, because nobody says no to a getting a meal with such an attractive and gorgeous lady, but more importantly because I've told her not to talk to me (with jocose, clearly) unless it's about visiting me in New York.

Audrey - probably because of my age difference with her - also has a predisposition of asking me for advice. I think it is instinctual in people to enjoy being asked for advice, and therefore I happily obliged. We chatted about a range of topics: taking Art History classes, relationship and personal character issues, to studying abroad and learning about different cultures. I really enjoy her breadth of intellectual curiosity, her fresh ideas about the book industry, and most importantly, for being really chill when I showed up late (oops).

Today was a surprisingly productive (and ideal!) day in so many other aspects too. After my lunch with Audrey, a woman I deeply adore gave me a call. I ended up running in Central Park with her, having a wonderful conversation as we watched the St. Patrick's parade, and buying her a cup of hot chocolate as I walked her home. I truly love and admire the free, fun-loving, and adventurous part of her. She's truly kind and mostly positive - forgives people easily, only remembers the good times. She's also really easy to talk to, never afraid to try new things, and has a great sense of humor/is really fun to tease or poke fun at. I am truly grateful that she is in my life, that I got to spend time interacting closely with her, despite it being short. Thinking about her gives me a nice, warm feeling in my chest, a sort of detached gratefulness.

Blessed with some free time in the evening, I made some headway into philosophical/spiritual/self-improvement readings that I enjoy and that I have been meaning to delve deeper into. I tucked myself in the usual space in my office, and watched Vishen Lakhiani speak, read more about Burt Goldman, developed my options tracker, and obviously, writing this blog post.

Let me leave you with two things that I picked up from Alan Watts: Firstly, life is more like music than a journey, the point of life is not at the end destination but rather to play it well. Secondly, enjoying life requires skill - without practicing the savoring of life, it cannot be enjoyed.

As such, I am happy to say that today, I did life right. There was an amazing balance between beautiful human interactions and romance and solitude. Between physical activity and mental exercise. Between rest and productivity. Between indulgence and spirituality. I think I danced well today, and it feels very, very good. Thank you.