Private Victories

What does the best day of your life look like?

I would argue that today is one of the best days in my life. Now, I realize that there are two kinds of best days: The former happens to you, while the latter is how you respond to life.

Yes, the grandest of masters know that things are just the way they are, and the nature of the things is largely (if not wholly) determined by how we choose to perceive those things.

If I recount today factually, it wouldn't be extraordinarily stellar. I woke up, used the sleeping meditation because I felt tired, meditated for a bit, brushed my teeth, and read something inspirational. That was my morning, and I had to rush through it because I have two exams on the following day. I went to Econometrics, slightly fumbled through the Japanese oral exam, counseled a friend whose ex boyfriend troubled her, counseled the ex-boyfriend, went to two professor's office hours, and went to the gym.

Here's the thing: I already felt tired the first thing I woke up in the morning. I had to counsel people's emotions. I had to deal with a fellow student in my comsci professor's office hours who was kind of offputting and snobbish. I was reminded how he was also in some sense, a better person than me, because he won the chance to participate in this innovation track program which I didn't. I had to prepare for two exams.. I had to push myself to read through the notes.

But strangely enough, I felt calm. I felt strong. I felt that when life was messing with me, I was able to stand up against her, laugh, and kick her butt. I find myself strangely rational and clear, I was able to analyze one of my friends and drew theories. I caught myself thinking: "Gosh, this dude is a jerk, and couldn't he just leave already because I deserve my time alone with the professor?" But I somehow was able to hijack my emotions and didn't let it influence me. I stopped thinking about him after a few moments.. I was able to somehow finish whatever I needed to do today. Most importantly, I was able to smile, to genuinely care about other people, to give good hugs, and to laugh, while the old me would've broken down from all the stress.

What is it? After some reflection, I realized that what made my day very good, what energized me, was the accumulation of the private victories I won. I don't know if it's thanks to the meditation, the inspirational stories, or to hitting the gym routinely, but I felt that I was able to score one private victory after another. I feel great, I feel empowered. I feel that I am acting in the interests of my higher self, and I am being my higher self. I now understand that...

It is not what happened to me. It is how I happen in life. (I know that what happens in my life is a function of my creation, but how I happen in my life is also part of the creation process itself. Therefore.)

-Truly Indonesia's Finest

To Care

When I started practicing Buddhism, I came across a wonderful and inspirational book by Ajahn Brahm, titled "Opening the Door of Your Heart". There are a lot of interesting stories that made its mark on me, and I sincerely recommend you readers to get the book, whether or not you are a practicing Buddhist. The book is a compilation of delightful stories about happiness and life, and if the author's name was hidden, one would not suspect that it was written by a monk!

Anyway, there is a story that struck me that I wanted to discuss today. Ajahn Brahm claims that the story was taken from Leo Tolstoy's, and in the story, there was a king who was seeking wisdom. After numerous years of study, the king realized that all the important stuff in life can be answered in three questions:

1. When is the most important time?
2. Who is the most important person?
3. What is the most important thing to do?

And eventually, as the story goes, the king was saved from assassination as he adhered to the principles he learned from the answers to the questions. Anyway, I am not here today to discuss the story, so I shall skip the answers for questions number 1 and 2. Readers, I challenge you to figure out the answer yourself.. Or I might just do a blog post on them in the future. Stay tuned :)

Anyway, I wanted to discuss question number 3, which answer is written as the title of the post. Yes, the most important thing to do is to care. In his book, Ajahn Brahm skipped the explanation of why 'to care' is the most important thing to do; Instead, he attempted to illustrate the importance of caring through other anecdotes. I personally didn't quite get the anecdotes, and I have been reflecting hard on why 'to care' precedes everything else.

Today, it finally dawned on me that 'to care' does indeed precede everything else. As part of my self-motivation and self-improvement, whenever I feel unhappy, I stop blaming or complaining. Instead, I pull myself out of the state of being reactive, and start to be proactive by asking myself "why am I unhappy?" and then "what do I want to do?" I am no longer a victim. I am a creator.

However, when I reflected further, I realize that I am at my happiest state when other people around me care about me, and also when I have people I care about. Whenever I feel that people care about me, I feel warm, I feel alive, I feel that life is worth living. As a student studying overseas in different schools and countries, it just dawned on me that my happiest moments are when I have finally established a group of friends whom I care about and who care about me back.

When I was in SJI, among other people, Christian truly cared about me. It was my two exes in Raffles, with Michael and a few other bunch. It was Ricky, Sheila, Kodor, and Christian again when I was in BLCU, and finally, it was Shanghui when I was in Amherst last year. (I know I skipped Princeton in Beijing, but then my roommate and a couple of other special ladies cared about me, so I was in good hands).

So now, at least I know what I want. I want to care more about other people, and I want people to care more about me. Caring about other people doesn't necessarily mean that you have to see them and hang out with them everyday. Giving space to your friends when they need space is caring too. Even being angry, or turning a cold shoulder, can be a form of caring too. As long as these actions are done with the betterment of the other person in mind. And no, being stressed and burnt out does not stem from overwork. Stress and burn-outs truthfully stem from the lack of connection and intimacy with the people around you, because there is no caring/being cared about exchange that is desperately needed by everyone.

I believe that if I care about other people, others will reciprocate, and now it is high time for me to manifest my beliefs.

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

My Sassy Girl OST Lyrics (John Kim, Princeton in Beijing Version) 我的野蛮女友歌词（普北班形式）

I Believe from Isue Shin on Vimeo.

When I was in Princeton in Beijing this summer, my friend John Kim teamed up with some of his buddies to do an amazing cover of My Sassy Girl's Original Sound Track. He translated the song lyrics from Korean to Chinese, so that is why the lyrics are different from the officially translated version of the song. Anyway, call me biased but I honestly find the lyrics much more beautiful than the official one. Enjoy!

我参加普北班的时候有一个朋友，John Kim。那时候，他刚刚跟他的女朋友分手了，但是她还坚持试试恢复他的关系。他想找一个活动，让他忙一些，所以他把《我的野蛮女友》的歌儿翻译下来，然后他跟两个朋友为所有的普北班学生们唱歌儿。虽然我可能有偏见，但是我个人认为，他翻译的歌词比真正的翻译漂亮多了。我希望，你们会享受这首歌儿！

I believe, 你还那里等待 (ni hai zai na li deng dai)

爱的路，总是充满了祝福 (ai de lu, zong shi chong man le zhu fu)

I believe，你还在把爱深埋 (ni hai zai ba ai shen mai)

我在这里，为你整夜在徘徊 (wo zai zhe li, wei ni zheng ye zai pai huai)

看不到未来 (kan bu dao wei lai)

却挡不住相爱 (que dang bu zhu xiang ai)

就算短暂分开 (jiu suan duan zan fen kai)

也不能，把这缘分结束 (ye bu neng, ba zhe yuan fen jie shu)

曾经走过漫漫长路 (ceng jing zou guo man man chang lu)

只要有爱，默默地祈祷 (zhi yao you ai, mo mo de qi dao)

真心的让彼此更幸福 (zhen xin de rang bi ci geng xing fu)

曾经走过漫漫长路 (ceng jing zou guo man man chang lu)

泪水模糊了我和你 (lei shui mo hu le wo he ni)

那一刻我们俩，依偎在一起 (na yi ke wo men lia, yin wei zai yi qi)

从此永远不再分离 (cong ci yong yuan bu zai fen li)

2x

我相信那份爱，这份感动 (wo xiang xin na fenr ai, zhe fenr gan dong)

只要你拥有着勇气 (zhi yao ni yong you zhe yong qi)

真心付出自己 (zhen xin fu chu zi ji)

一切，都为爱人牵挂 (yi qie, dou wei ai ren qian gua)

再长的等待也不怕 (zai chang de deng dai ye bu pa)

曾经走过漫漫长路 (ceng jing zou guo man man chang lu)

只要有爱，默默地祈祷 (zhi yao you ai, mo mo de qi dao)

真心的让彼此更幸福 (zhen xin de rang bi ci geng xing fu)

曾经走过漫漫长路 (ceng jing zou guo man man chang lu)

泪水模糊了我和你 (lei shui mo hu le wo he ni)

那一刻我们俩，依偎在一起 (na yi ke wo men lia, yin wei zai yi qi)

从此永远不再分离 (cong ci yong yuan bu zai fen li)

依偎在一起 (yin wei zai yi qi)

从此永远不再分离 (cong ci yong yuan bu zai fen li...)

Inspiration/Note to self

I just came up with these while I was running in the morning. A slight heads up: Part English and mostly Bahasa Indonesia.

Walaupun lebih baik sengasara sebentar kemudian bahagia selama-lamanya, daripada sebentar-bentar enak terus sengsara selama-lamanya, janganlah menunda kebahagiaan. Berbahagialah sekarang, belajarlah untuk menikmati pahitnya kopi kehidupan. Belajarlah untuk menari di tengah tetesan hujan. Practice happiness now!

Atur tujuan, maka jalanan akan muncul dengan sendirinya. Tetapi, nikmatilah perjalanan itu sekarang, sebab di masa kinilah kita hidup; Dan kehidupan ini merupakan kumpulan-kumpulan dari momen-moment tersebut.

Bukannya itu adalah intisari dalam menjadi seorang manusia? Senikmatnya kita kuatir dan pesimis, negative thinking tidak akan merubah apa-apa dalam hidup kita. Sebaliknya, percayalah. Fokuskan pikiranmu ke visualisasi, dan lakukanlah apapun yang bisa kamu lakukan, sebaik mungkin, setiap harinya.

Confidence comes from blamelessness. From integrity, from being impeccable. From being united and integrated with your higher stream of consciousness.

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

Near Misses.

"It was raining, and I was running.."

I remember someone telling me that my life is full of near misses. Now, I would affirm to the statement, but I would define 'near misses' as the opposite.

"I stared at my GPS. Sandwiched between my heavy breathing and soft curses, the stubborn GPS finally loaded.."

I went to Boston today. For us Amherst students, going to Boston is a luxury, both of time and money. However, one of my best friends from Princeton in Beijing, Shosuke, planned to go to Boston that day to celebrate his birthday. Moreover, they had an Indonesian festival that day, where they showcase Indonesian culture and sell heavenly food. Naturally, I came down to Boston.

"If I had slipped even once, if the metro was late by one more minute, I.."

I arrived to South Station at 10am and bought some coffee and did some reading on Freud as I waited for Sacho (lit. Company president; Shosuke's nickname) as his train would only reach Boston at 1130. Sacho has this mysterious aspect in him which makes him very likeable and popular among his friends. After thinking thoroughly about it, I finally understood why. Sacho is always smiling, and he takes things easy. He is always so funny, so relaxed and out going. He can be serious if needed, but he never allows himself to be involved in dramas. I am grateful to know such a person in my life. And you bet, he is an overachiever too: He went to Todai (Tokyo University) before transferring to Pomona and subsequently Brown.

"I looked up, and at the intersection I saw the plaque that said Atlantic Avenue. It continued to drizzle.."

We went straight to the Yamato, the sushi buffet place recommended by Sacho's friend Tomo, whom we also met there. (I know right, Tomo.) He's a cool kid from Tokyo who decided to study in MiT because he wanted to meet scientists from all over the world. He takes seven classes this semester and last semester, and he's not even stressed or swamped with work. Mind you, these are lab science classes like inorganic chemistry or advanced mathematics classes above linear algebra. Food was amazing, it was around 20 bucks per person; Tamago, unagi, tori chaahan, tobiko, and amaebi were among my favorites. Tomo took us to H-mart (where I witnessed Paris Baguette!! Talk about being Beijing-sick) and to his frat. Cool guy, cool guy.

"I finally saw the entrance to the South Station. I had less than three minutes left, so I just sprung the doors open and ran up the flight of stairs.."

So we said goodbye to Tomo and took the metro to Malden to meet another Sacho's friend for the chuanr dinner. This guy is a Japan-born-Chinese; So we all spoke mandarin for the most part. Anyway, Malden is actually about half an hour by metro from the central Boston, and we actually made his friend wait for twenty minutes (不好意思)。Nonetheless, we finally reached the 串儿 (bbq meat) place which is about a fifteen minute walk from the metro station. It was glorious food, considering the physical and cultural chasm between Boston and Beijing. I really enjoyed the 烤馒头 (mantou, is fried with an egg yolk) and the 麻辣香锅(a spicy but dry hotpot). In the midst of the food and the conversation, I decided to check my Peterpan Bus ticket on a whim. Thank goodness I did that, because I realized that my bus was leaving at 8pm, not 830. It was around 7:19pm in the 串儿 place, common sense tells one to forget it because it would take 15 minutes to walk to the station and 25 minutes to take the metro down to South Station. Remember to add in the extra 10 minutes to get to the Peterpan bus station and the fact that it was raining.

"I frantically looked for the gate that leaves for Springfield. On platform 7, I saw a giant, green rectangular object outside the glasses, could it be.."

I gave my friends 25 bucks (I was told that the dinner amounted to 20 in the end, so it's all good) and decided to make a run. The 羊肉串儿 was very delicious by the way, the cumin flavor really came through, if only I could savour it when I was not running. I reasurred myself that I would make it to Boston South on time, because otherwise I either pay a private shuttle or a taxi for 200 grand or book a hotel for the night for about a similar price. When I wasn't running with all my might, I was visualizing with all my might, picturing myself sitting in a Peterpan bus.

...

"I sprinted to the door at platform 7 and sprung the door open. I almost wanted to cry, because the bus captain was still checking the tickets of the last few passangers. My wristwatch showed 8:02pm."

I made it. The bus was really full, and I sat on the second to last seat. It was rarely the case, but the bus was thankfully slightly tardy because there had been so many passangers. If a few people decided to cancel their trip, the bus would've left at 8 on the dot, and it would've been over for me. And yes, I don't regret booking the peterpan bus a week prior, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to book last-minute, like what the circumstances within my friend circle in Amherst dictated.

Now I am seating in the bus, recounting my day and being so grateful that I am such a lucky person: I didn't miss my morning bus (which I nearly did, again due to my friend circle), I finished the Freud reading, I was allowed to join the sushi buffet, ate wonderful 串儿，and treated my japanese friends to Martabak (Indonesian sweet pancake), Indomie goreng, and Marquissa juice (idk how to spell this sorry) during the Indonesian cultural festival. I also made two awesome new Japanese friends, caught up with an amazing old friend, took pictures, had wonderful conversations, laughed a lot, joked and fooled around, spoke in bahasa for a bit, and caught the last bus back to Amherst. Despite running in the rain, at least I made it, and at least I didn't run in the rain because of a girl, like what happened in Beijing ;)

I had a good day. Thank you.

Truly Indonesia's finest.

Funny how..

I have to run for a CEOT breakfast and dry run in less than ten minutes, so I will have to write this story very briefly..

So, after the wonderful stretch of summer doing Princeton in Beijing, I am back in Amherst College, ready for the upcoming fall semester (well not quite, but). For one reason to another, I decided to participate in the international students' orientation this year, becoming one of the orientation leaders. The international first year students are a nice bunch, actually. Although as Adrian predicted, at least half of the kids won't talk to us anymore after orientation has ended, but at least we had fun in the process. (Why not? Well, probably they think that they are cooler than we are)

Anyway, I am grateful as the orientation training and process made the international orientation leaders bond (there are roughly eight of us, including me), so much so that one afternoon, after interviewing our potential International Student Director (yes, we don't have one at the moment right now), we decided to have an ISO pre-game. Wonderful. I just turned 21 a few weeks ago, and I coincidentally wanted to get some red wine for myself, so I had my passport with me. Jennifer and I volunteered to get drinks at the local liquor store, and the rest of the gang got cups and prepared the venue.

Trust me, it wasn't much, we had hard apple ciders and white wine. Nonetheless, what happened next was what made the experience interesting. So the crowd got quite high with the alcohol, the ladies in our group being ladies, started gossiping about the cute freshman in the international orientation. So there's this Singaporean lad with a mustache, and apparently he would look even cuter if he would shave it, and the ladies were so intense about it to the extent that they wanted to play a dare game and the loser would have to tell Stefan to shave off his beard. hahahah

Anyway, one of us suddenly decided that it would be amusing to tell our most embarrassing stories (or craziest) that happened in Amherst, and we had to go around in a circle telling ours. I am ashamed to say that my stories are not probably one tenth, or heck, even one hundredth as wacky as my friends'. One of my friends got drunk and climbed a fence in Mt Holyoke College (a sister college of Amherst) during her freshman year, and for her 21st birthday, got really drunk and smoked a lot of pot. (she had a rough breakup, so I couldn't blame her) What happened next made it really insane: She took a shower to cure her hangover the next day, and it backfired as she fainted in the shower.. Therefore she was drunk, hungover, stoned, naked, and hospitalized at the same time.

Another dude told how he went to the socials after a lot of drink, took off his shirt and spun it around somewhere, danced in a strangers' table, and then waking up the next day next to one of his female friends only with his pants on. He just left awkwardly, and apparently another upperclassman found his shirt a few days after.

I honestly don't quite have a "crazy" story to tell myself, and I am being honest, as I haven't had much adventures with alcohol as of today. Honestly, at one point I was somewhat sad and/or ashamed to admit that my life at Amherst was comparatively normal than theirs.. But afterwards I realized that I am free to be who I am, and I will continue to be. I will have fun in my own way, and of course I am open to interesting experiences too, but it definitely doesn't have to be that way. (man, who wants to be hospitalized naked?) But of course, that night made me realize the importance of telling good stories ;)

Truly Indonesia's Finest,

反省一下普北班项目

我现在正在一个飞机上，默默的考虑和感激我在北京的经验。你就问我，什么是普北班给我最大的获得呢？这个问题实在是有待讨论。两个明显的好处就是我中文的进步以及我交往的扩大。前者应该感谢普北班的语言誓约和个别谈话。虽然我的中文还没有那么好，可是我相信，我的发音，声调，和语法有所进步。至于后者，我可以说我靠自己的努力来交朋友。但是，我不可否认，这次的朋友们即热情又好玩。换一句话来说，认识新的朋友们是个必然结果。然而，我认识的朋友并不限于普北班的学生们。我也认识了几位北京的当地人，几位在北京打工的老外(这些人从事新能源的行业，在Beijing Energy Network认识的。我觉得他们很有意思，比那些金融的工人有热情和激情)  

除此之外，我也可以说通过普北班，我加以了 解中国的文化与社会问题了。从户口制度，人口问题，甚至于到“海龟”，上课的时候我都讨论过。我也了解了美国其他大学的同学们，实在是个少有的机会!现在如果我在美国旅游，说不定会有朋友们提供一个房间!呵呵。

可是，可能我最享受的获得就是爱情的感觉。什么爱情呢？也许其实没有什么爱情，那我就把它看成热情吧。这两个概念不容易区分起来，可是，我想，与其说是爱情，不如说是热情，关心，和友谊。好吧，是个姑娘。是个特别可爱的姑娘。表面上可能有点随便，但骨子里她又温柔又耐心。她爱笑，也爱开玩笑，好欺 负，我就爱抱她。她不但成熟，而且脾气也不大。。。  

然而，普北班一瞬连就结束了，我和她的缘分一转眼就没有了。缘分是否是个爱开玩笑的孩子呢？让我冒昧抱怨一下吧。我一年在安城所找不到的八周在北京就找得到了。这样的感觉就是哑巴吃黄瓜，有苦说不出来。   

哈哈，你看，我变成这么悲观。我想她，好想她。可是，没问题吧。反正我相信，不久我就能够找到比她好一些的对象。无论未来如何，我只想说谢谢，因为她给我带来了这么温暖的 感觉。   我不晓得她毕竟会不会看这篇文章。假如你看了，知道我正在想你。我愿你天天幸福，万事如意。托你的副，以后再会吧。