A Generator

So..

What's up, guys and gals.

I've been reading up about bodygraph and human designs recently. Essentially, you input your birth date, hour, and location, and it will use a formulaic method to lay out a groundwork about you and your life.

Being a selfish person, obviously I'm just going to think and reflect about myself first. Hehehe.

Apparently, I am a generator. So - allegedly - I have boundless energy, but I need to channel them properly. The only way to channel my energy properly is to wait to respond, instead of taking the initiative to act. Apparently, if I wait and respond properly (by trusting my guttural instincts), I shall be rewarded with a life of abundance, ease, and spontaneous manifestation of my desires. However, if I play along with my social conditioning, and take the initiative instead of playing the waiting game, I will get rewarded with frustration instead (e.g. won't have the energy to finish what I started).

So this is interesting. These days, I have been obsessed with reaching out and planning and filling up my time slots in the weekdays and the weekends to meet with people. I shall try and give that up. And play the waiting/responding instead of the initiating game instead. I guess instead of reaching out to people and giving them suggestions or offering help, I shall assume a passive but benevolent and helpful role - if my sacral permits. This is early February, so let me give this a shot until early March, and I'll keep you posted if I end up being frustrated or happier. Honestly, it scares the hell out of my mind (classic mind) that if I don't reach out to people first then I'll be left alone to dusts. Then I'll never find the one. Then I'll never find the right opportunities.

But hey, I have some faith. And all I have is faith. I will keep on creating and living the reality I want in my head, while keeping a grateful attitude in my heart. All the difference lies in my mindset and my attitude/action.

Funny because when I've asked advice from the sages, they said things that sound pretty similar.. "Semua usahamu akan sia-sia" "Mas, santai aja, kamu dikelilingi oleh bidadari yang jatuh cinta pada kamu. Tapi mereka pura-pura cuek. Kamu tinggal diem aja, nanti juga dikerubutin" "Suatu hari nanti kamu akan bangun tidur dan sadar kalau apa-apa gausah di plan. tinggal ikutin kehendak soul mu saja, dijalani, nanti akan terjadi yang terbaik untukmu." "Semua tinggal terima jadi aja, dan dinikmati. sebab semuanya sudah diselenggarakan".

Funny how. Well, I guess then I understand what the first sage was saying - it's not that all my efforts shall be in vain. It's those efforts where I ignore my central authority, my sacral, my soul, tend to be wasted. Looking back in my life, I have had wonderful achievements and tremendous happiness, and it's not that I have been passively waiting and lazing around. I worked my ass off to be here in the States, and to live the life I live right now. However, at the same time, the process seemed so serendipitous. Right people and right events and right decisions just came about during the right time, and here I am today, very blessed. All I needed to do was just to respond - to that calling.

Very cool. Let me wrap up by presenting an example that turned out so well, that wasn't me responding. Well - I was originally going to be roommates with Chris in New York, but it suddenly fell through. While I was deep in sadness and gloominess, I surrendered everything and prayed to my soul. From deep within, there came a voice, a thought, perhaps, saying: "Paul". I knew what to do - I immediately reached out to him and asked if he was still looking for people to room with. Now, I am living with him and Hao in a comfortable apartment in Midtown East, right about five minutes from the office. I am blessed for the short commute, for the amazing roommates, for the cheap rent, and for the amazing living condition. Well, I guess this was an instance of taking the initiative to reach out, but that's after deep contemplation and it's in response of the depths of my soul (obviously being sanctioned by the Soul, then).

Anyways, I'll keep you posted! Hehe. Or ask me, because I'm not supposed to take the initiative. Hehehe.