Brules

Readers,

Guess what is the most severe, problematic, contagious, and deadly disease that infects humanity.

Nope, you're wrong.

It's called the I'm-not-enough disease. It's when you feel inadequate, you feel that you are not enough, and therefore you do things and behave in certain ways to satisfy all the "shoulds". You hope that by doing that you feel adequate, you feel enough. But nope - after reaching that certain goal, after complying to certain standards, after following certain conventions, you still feel that you're not enough. In fact, it's like yanking the movie rolls to change a movie's outcome - all physical actions taken in the world will never make you feel enough.

The proposed solution is, therefore, to scribble a lot of "I AM ENOUGH"s. Keep on reminding and affirming yourself that you are enough.

As I was reading and reflecting on this, though, I discover that as a sufferer of the I'm-not-enough disease, I can turn this affliction into a powerful decision-making tool. When faced with a situation where a decision needs to be made, I can simply ask myself: "What would I do if I am enough? What would I do if I have nothing to prove?" I shall experiment with this, but my hunch is that this eliminates a lot of fears. When you think, and you realize, that you are actually enough, that you've actually nothing to prove, it frees you from the fear that you have to make certain decisions or act in certain ways. And then you can be free to choose whatever maximizes your happiness! Even if you chose the difficult choices - you can be certain that it was your own agency that landed to that choice, not some bullshit rule (brule) of you not being enough.

So, what would I do if I am enough? What would I do if I have nothing to prove?

You're welcome,