The Birthday Post

Hi friends,

Thank you very much for your kind birthday wishes! I appreciate them very much, and I am truly grateful that every single one of you is part of my life :)

Indulge me as I reflect on my life. After all, I just turned 25 and I deserve to at least pretend that I'm facing my quarter-life crisis ;) I grew up playing a lot of games, and my favorite has always been role-playing games. These games invite us to adventures as make-believe characters, exploring the virtual world while making them stronger and more adept by leveling up and raising status points. The crux is, of course, for the character to become better at what they are doing - knights inflict more damage, wizards cast stronger spells, and acolytes more adept at healing wounds.

If you aren't really into fantasy games, then think of a fresh Computer Science major trying to code in Python, or a twelve-year-old playing the piano for the first time. As time passes, and with deliberate effort, they will be a better Python coder and a piano player respectively - they would have the experience and developed the right skills in utilizing these instruments in order to achieve better results, be it simulating the traveling salesman in linear time (not possible, btw) or skillfully playing fantasie impromptu.

Therefore, I can't help but think if as these years go by, I have been a better player in this game of life. Sure, I may have worked hard and became a better analyst at Cornerstone Research. Sure, I may have "seen the world" and have settled and enjoyed living in New York. Sure, I may have developed a circle of friends who I truly adore and who I can count on. But have I truly become better in life?

Friends, I invite you to think of your own yardsticks of life - tools to measure what life means to you. Meanwhile, let me share you some of mine that I strive to emulate. I saw these qualities within extraordinary individuals that I am tremendously lucky to have crossed paths with:
1. Needlessness. If you think about it, there are very little things you "need" to be happy, and even less so to survive. There's nothing wrong with having preferences and possessions, but the sages I met know that preferences are just preferences, and they don't confuse them with needs. No wonder they are happy all the time!
2. Gratefulness. A curious observation: The most successful, beautiful, and kind souls I have met happen to be the most grateful ones as well. They love, and are grateful, even of the smallest things in their life - the air to breathe, the sunshine, the birds chirping.. Are they grateful because they're happy? Or are they happy because they're grateful? Hmm..
3. Tounge-in-cheekiness. My favorite people around me have one trait in common: They never take themselves (or anything else, for the matter) too seriously. These highly successful and capable people know themselves, but they're never too rigid about their beliefs. These people irreverently see humor in the darkest situations. However, most importantly - they love giving themselves a good laugh! I truly hope I can become like that soon:)

All right, that's all, folks! I am in your care, this year, and onwards. Please come say hi if you ever find yourself in New York, and know that I am very grateful for you :)

Cheerz,

Achievement Unlocked

Hi readers!

Apologies that it has been a while - I had just finished filing a case that involved me billing around a hundred hours in a week. It's a game-changing moment, an achievement-unlocked moment, where you know you've crossed a threshold of some sorts. After all, who can genuinely say that they have spent a hundred hours working out of the 168 or so hours available in a week?! I can! Since the day after my previous post, I had been coming back to the office (yes, including the weekends), and I am genuinely amazed by how much work I can take, but also by how my fellow bankers can survive these hours constantly, cranking out work endlessly like a champ.

I honestly thought that it would take quite some time before I fully recover, but I'm (positively) surprised that I was wrong. Even though toward the few nights before filing I was negative and tired, to say the least, a Neale Donald Walsch class, plus a quick 30 min run, and a Jeffery Allen class, were enough to make me happy and healthy again - raring to go. It's also funny how when I just set my intent to focus on completely filing and finishing my project, distractions just eluded me - I would go through days without any texts or invites or people checking in. But when I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, that blockage dissolved, and (seemingly serendipitous) invitations for lunch, dinner, drinks, parties, and catch-ups, just seemingly started pouring in.

I guess another spiritual update I have is that I am trying my best to play around with my aura and chakras - to play around with allowing and letting go of the pictures I hold of myself and of life and of the world, replacing them with clean and pure energy instead and letting everything be neutral and yummy. I achieve this by remembering my boundaries and setting my auras and chakras at permission level, by practicing breathing (with this new device called lief that keeps track of my heart variability rate!) and adjusting my chakras to resonate with a great message while keeping it to myself :) it has been looking very promising so far, I'm just able to stay cool and accepting of myself, which rocks!

Anyways, got to go to bed soon, maybe a longer post next time?

Oh also, I'm doing this thing called I am that. Basically, when you walk down a street and whatever you see in your eyes, tell yourself, 'I am that', 'I am that', 'I am that'.

Because we are all that :)

And a quote that is stuck with me - (Jon Butcher, Lifebook) life is a healthy combination of intention and allowing. Set your intent, work through your intent, follow through with your intent, but let and allow all the good things to come to you :)

Best Practices

Hello readers,

How goes it? It has been a busy past few weeks, and will be so for the next three weeks or so due to a case filing deadline. Yup, let's start off with a few life updates and then get down to business.

My roommate, Hao, just left for a job in Morgan Stanley Beijing today. Paul, him, and I had a wonderful goodbye dinner at Le Coucou last night. The food there was nothing short of amazing (definitely the best French food I've ever had) - fulfilled my dream to eat Chou Farci, and had a wonderful three-hour long dinner and conversation. My history with Hao is slightly convoluted, but I have always appreciated his presence and his chillness when he was around. He was also really kind and even invited me to stay over at his place before I became his roommate in New York. Anyways, he will be missed.

Anyways, this post is titled best practices because I wanted to keep an inventory on what best practices I follow daily. Maybe bullet points, if you're cool?

Positive Rituals (i.e. deliberately added):

• Six-phase meditation;
• Healing meditation;
• Gratitude - the Magic;
• Lifts and Gyms;
• Life planning (courses, Mindvalley quests, finance/net worth tracker);
• Learning;
• Bulletproof coffee.

Negative Rituals (i.e. deliberately left out):

• Sugar;
• Alcohol;
• Deep-fried food;
• Flour, white carbs;
• Women? Hmm still wavering on this

The other component to it would be sexual transmutation - which I guess is a combination of a positive ritual and negative ritual (Google for details). This is really both personal and powerful because I'm the kind of person who is intrinsically motivated by the opposite sex, and if I leverage this strong attraction properly it can become an otherworldly source of motivation to improve on myself.

How are the results? It's been really good! I feel that I am on average, happier and more energetic. I've been under some learning curves/growth periods so far, but I now trust that it is all meant to be and it's for the better as it is a result of my unconscious energy clearing. I am in a much, much better physical shape than as short as six months ago, and this obviously also feeds into my confidence, appreciation of life, and also social attraction. The healing meditation/course has also offered amazing benefits on energy and tapping intuition or wisdom, which I have somewhat utilized in the past but I know that I have that tool with me going forward.

It comes back to what is important for you. And the most important thing is to compare you against yourself in the past, not any others. For everyone is walking their own unique individual paths. I'd given it some thought too - improving your energy is probably the first and most important thing, because everything is energetic in nature. I'd venture to say that your fate or destiny or karma is energetic - the energy that is you or is within you defines your life. But hey, there's a feedback loop on this, because I'm quite certain that if one earnestly tries to think better thoughts, feel better feelings, and do good, the energy within can be vibrationally improved too. And as the energy improves, the life manifested improves - making a positive loop.

Now, because there is always room for improvement - I'd love to have more quantum jumps in my life, set deliberate goals to improve my social relationships and establish my clan (or tribe, as Vishen likes to put it), and put manga/games in my negative ritual. I'd also love to learn how to learn for pleasure. hehe.

Cheers,

Essence of Vibrations

Dear benevolent readers,

Hope you've had an enjoyable weekend! I had a tremendously pleasurable Saturday night - Chelsea invited me to watch a stand-up comedy show, and the two of us got seated right smack in front of the stage. This was quite the experience: I have been to plenty of stand-ups but have never sat on the front row, much less with a beautiful lady friend accompanying me. 

Of course, the comics couldn't resist themselves when they see (what they perceive as) an Asian couple calmly enjoying tea instead of alcohol in the front row. We got questions from "Are you two in a relationship" (she strongly refuted it) to "Why aren't you eating your hot dog, good sir" (my jaws hurt from all the laughing). Somehow, with a mix of bluffing, good humor, and sarcasm, I managed to fend off these projectiles coming our way pretty well, and afterward Chelsea also acknowledged that I did a good job! Hey, well done, me ;) all credits go to my inner troll that activates when there's a cute girl nearby..

Anyways, ahem, going on to the main topic -

Vibrations.

Let's start with the premise of duality: Everything exists in a matter form and an energy form simultaneously. I think in physics this is called wave-particle duality. Therefore, we have a physical body, (in my case, who is typing on the laptop right now) and a wave-like/energy-like/non-physical body (part of which is often wandering around thinking about girls, hahaha). Jeffery Allen, in his Duality class, asserted that the physical body acts as a container to the non-physical body, and that the non-physical body is much, much larger than the physical body itself.

Moving on to establishing the second premise: Similar to how your eyes act as an interpreter of light, and your skin an interpreter of heat, your feelings act as an interpreter to the vibrations you are giving off (and vibrations that you are in contact with, that you pick up). And different feelings have different vibrations - happiness and joy feels very different from despair, for the very reason that these emotions vibrate at tremendously different frequencies.

And finally, the third premise is that what we attract in the physical reality is in direct correspondence with the vibrations that we are giving out. In other words, there is no way that a person giving out dismal vibes is going to attract pleasant physical events. An analogy that is often used is a radio and a satellite transmitter - there is no way a radio can play the rock songs of 95.1 FM if it is set to receive the news from 108.8 FM.

What must follow from these premises is a conclusion that there is nothing we CANNOT do, be, have, or achieve - as long as we can give out the vibrations that match the frequency of our desires, and maintain it at that level. It is really simple to know whether you are manifesting what you want or not, too, thanks to the second premise: Simply note your feelings!

I repeat: When one is giving out a certain kind of vibration, it is immediately and is always responded to by the Universe with an identical kind of vibration toward that said person. Sure, there is a lag in the physical world compared to the non-physical world (and for good reason!), but it will get there.

If you're like me, and almost every other person on earth, the essence of your desires are probably emotions of joy, happiness, fun, peace, excitement, love, compassion, forgiveness, and companionship. And therefore I resolve to trust the universe in this - that I shall give out these vibes and they will come to me and that I won't be too fussy about the details. If I want chocolate cakes because it makes me really happy and instead I got a bunch of meatballs that make me really happy, my need for happiness has been fulfilled! Similarly, sometimes my needs are also being met non-physically while it is coming to my way physically. For example, I've had a couple dreams of fun and romance in the middle of a hectic week at work, simply because I asked for something fun and for some romance while I was exhausted at work. I remember woke up with a huge grin on my face and being really happy and content - my need was fulfilled because I could felt the same vibrational essence!

Try it out, ask for what you want, and just pretend as if you have gotten it.

Gifts

Hi readers, how is it going?

Hahaha. This week has been on the rougher spectrum, for multiple reasons. But yet, if one lives with the premise that the condition of life is optimal, then one must accept that everything in one's life happens for that said person.

I'd like to think that after attending Eckhart Tolle's talk, and listening to other big ideas, including creation, feelings as an indicator, and avoiding living in a me-centered universe, I'd be unfuckwithable. What does being unfuckwithable mean? Popularized by Vishen Lakhiani, being unfuckwithable means having persistent inner peace and self-love regardless of one's external circumstances. Alas, reaching that state takes some practice.

Not taking one's life seriously takes some practice. Forgiving others and letting go takes practice. Not fully believing and identifying with one's thoughts takes practice.

And well, put it that way, this week has given me the opportunity of such practice. Work was busy this week - I put in close to 70 hours I think by today. On top of that, I got yelled at, and I didn't get the non-billable I wanted. And I took everything personally.

But hey, armed with a new mental model and a greater understanding, I began to take it easy. What if this all happens for me? What if there are better things out there that now is coming to my life, because all these happened? What if these are the things I really needed? And of course - I take responsibility too. I ended the blame game such that I don't blame anyone, including myself, but I take responsibility!

Therefore, thank you, Universe, for giving me a challenging week. I am grateful, because this was a great opportunity showing the fruits of my training. I have become more patient, more optimistic, and more forgiving. And I will continue toward that perfection, until I can operate at the full state of allowing and surrender, and have inner peace and fun wherever I go and whatever I do. That I wake up, one day, feeling full and complete, fully accepting and loving myself, finally realizing and continuously feeling enough.

Thank you. I am getting there.

The Present

Once upon a time,

I was browsing through my Instagram, and discovered that a profound spiritual teacher by the name of Eckhart Tolle was planning on speaking in New York City. Eckhart Tolle is well-known for stoicism, and I thought, why not try and heal myself right now? Therefore, I went to the ticketmaster website and paid over two hundred bucks to secure myself a seat to listen him speak.

Fast forward a couple of weeks later, I found myself in a line that stretched round the block of the Beacon Theatre on a 7:30 pm on a Saturday. Nested in between Tolle enthusiasts, I was silently how beautiful the pre-war buildings in this posh area was. I swiftly got through security and prepared myself to take lots of notes - I came armed with a pen and my tiny Optiver notebook, but as Tolle started speaking I gave up any attempt to be subtle about my note-taking.

Yes, it was worth my two hundred bucks. I am just writing down things without referring to the notebook, and these things are definitely what is worth remembering.

Most people don't know who they truly are. They know their past, their history, and their future, their plans and goals. They know their body, and their political views, personality, so on and so forth, but according to Tolle, it is not really them. If we are a room, then we have been caring and cognizant about the ceiling, the walls, the floors, and every single thing, except for the space in that room. Similarly, there is an existence within us, even after that personality part of us has been stripped away. This existence is not ephemeral, it is everlasting and is reliable. And - this is a secret - is the same across all sentient beings. We all draw from one source energy.

One of the many beautiful things Tolle said was that our brains to this consciousness is like a radio or a television to the waves: The vibrations bring in the essential information, but the machine interprets it. Us personalities are simply unique manifestations of this collective consciousness. In essence, we are one. Truly knowing this (knowing thyself, not the personality part) is what it means to be awakened. Well, why bother? A few things, but mostly - a detachment, and ultimately, freedom from suffering.

The human civilization has thrived thanks to their use of the mind as a tool. It is a wonderful tool for reason, for science, for technology. But on the flip side, they started manifesting as our masters. The typical modern human being is severely addicted to thinking. And these thinking are not productive thinking - they are addicted to worrying, gossiping, judging, and all these unproductive forms of thought. They believe all the thoughts in their head are true and are theirs, because they need to identify with something - and they identify with their thoughts. And the characteristic of an untrained (or untamed) mind is of separation - it sees itself versus the other. As a result, there is a need to always feel superior, be it by judging other people or by trying to get accomplishments or by playing the victim - and it will never be quite satisfied, happy, or accomplished.

So how do we tap into this inner consciousness? How do we become aware of our own awareness? The answer turns out to be simple. Simply notice the moment after one thought ends, but before another thought arises. There is a gap, there is a stillness, in this alertness state in the now, with fully-focused sensory awareness. Looking at or listening to or smelling something without labeling it. In this moment, there is no past, no future. There is no history, and you don't have the problems with you. Your mind doesn't convert challenges into problems anymore. There simply is.

And it felt truly wonderful to simply be there in the moment. For a moment there was no (insert author's name here), none of his life dramas, none of his worries, sadness, stresses, anxiety about the future. There is only a pleasant feeling of existing right now.

And apparently, if you slowly extend this gap, you'll become familiar with the consciousness within you. And it's there, forever. Unending. This doesn't mean that one should stop thinking altogether - no! Even after familiarizing one's self with this state, one can interact and use the personality identity and with other identities still very effectively. And there you go :) keep on doing what you must, but take time to appreciate the gap, to be present there. Because right now is the only time you'll ever have.

Luceeee

Hey readers - what's up!

Been a hectic week. hahaha. Which is good, because that meant that I'm super productive. (y)

Anyways, here I am in UES, DavidsTea Shop, calmly sipping a cup of ice cream matcha tea. It's really freaking good. It's so good that I just asked for a refill of hot water from the cute lady assisting me with the tea - and I had an amazing conversation with her too about Overwatch. It's funny, but I'll look into it. She told me she cosplays too. And this is a white girl I'm talking about. hahaha.

How did I end up in this situation? I guess - good karma? Or certain thought vibrations? Not quite sure. But yes, I had an amazing, actually, a perfect, weekend. And I am very grateful for it.

Sometime during the week a thought, or two, or three bubbled into the surface of my mind. A thought that was charged by such negative emotions, a thought that I immediately believed in and associated with. This was along the lines of: "I am feeling very lonely, I need company. I'm tired of going home to an empty home, to have nobody to spend time with during the weekends, to have nobody to share my life with. If this trend continues, then this weekend I will simply be alone and lonely."

Notice how it's just a thought. :) but at that moment, I let myself into its grips. I let it run the show, I let it define me as a problem that needed solution. But fortunately, I am a bit well-trained (and moreso after attending the Eckhart Tolle at the beautiful Beacon Theatre talk last night!) and immediately realized that I need to dissociate from such a thought and choose better-feeling thoughts whenever they are available for me! Because such a feeling is indicative on whatever is coming to my life, and even if it wasn't the case why would one actively seek to feel terrible if, through willpower and intent, one can feel astonishingly better?

I'm not exactly sure if I was able to willfully choose a better-feeling thought or if I simply surrendered and killed the thought because a better-feeling one wasn't available, but the few days moved on and I started feeling better. I was working hard during the weekdays, and surrendered to the fact that I'll probably spend my weekend alone, and I was fine and ready and prepared for it. I'm pretty awesome, anyways, so what's not to love about spending time with myself? Hehehe.

Come Friday afternoon (somehow that day I didn't decide to lock my phone inside my drawer), I received a text from Lucy, a wonderful friend from Amherst, letting me know that she's going on an impromptu trip to New York and asking me if I could host her over the weekend. Lucy is such a sweetheart and such a delight to be around with, so obviously it's a yes for me. We had multiple quality conversations, toured the streets and riversides of New York, awesome meals and ice cream and boba, and watched the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and tidbits of Alan Watt's talks together.

I am truly grateful for Lucy, as she's special in a lot of ways. I first met her when Audrey invited her over to our lunch at Oriental Flavors, and we instantly connected. Lucy is really beautiful, charming, and kind. She always tries to engage with you, and gives her best in everything. She's fun-loving yet prudent, and is truly truly thoughtful (she actually got me a pack of matcha green tea which tastes amazing and wrote me a thank-you note for hosting me! I've hosted a bunch of friends but she's the first to show this kind of appreciation!) She's truly fun to tease and make fun of, and most importantly, she is not judgmental and not demanding. I am grateful for her company this weekend, and I definitely would love more of her company in the future. Hehehe.

Anyways, I ramble. What brought me to this wonderful tea shop in this charming neighbourhood? Yes, Lucy. She left behind her glasses in my apartment, and therefore I took it to Rachael, who lives around here, and who is going back to Amherst as well. I am chuffed to bits as I got to see and say hi to Rachael for a bit too, before exploring the area and savoring such a wonderful cup of tea. As a bonus, a really charming couple was sitting in my view, and they were having such a great time talking, caressing, and making out. I am really happy for them, and I am grateful for this good omen! I am grateful for all the romances I get to witness and experience! Ahem.

I hope your weekend is amazing too :)